


My Kind Of Crazy

by BustersJezebel



Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Homophobic Language, M/M, Male Slash, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Racial slurs, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-03-14 09:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3404915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustersJezebel/pseuds/BustersJezebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He arrives at the clearing just as Daryl walks out of the river. Shane’s mouth waters as he sees his pale skin gleaming in the early evening light. Mac had gleamed like that too.</p><p>Stepping forward the one thing he doesn’t expect is the crossbow to come up, loaded and ready to shoot. Though really, he should have, “Easy Mac it’s just me.” He says as he steps forward again, Shane holds his palms up, empty and facing Mac.</p><p>“I done fuckin’ told you, I ain’t Mac.” </p><p>I have no ownership of The Walking Dead (all media types) in any way, shape or form. Though I wish otherwise...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay here at last I have Dane (Daryl and Shane). When I wrote Play, Punish, Mark, Own the absolutely Machiavellian Pass The Porn Tea reviewed and said she wondered how my Shane would react when he met Daryl, given that Daryl has Mac’s face. Of course I had to go there. My apologies for taking a lot longer than I expected.
> 
> Story points are as follows:
> 
> 1.In Play, Punish, Mark, Own I described Norman’s actual back tattoos on Mac, thus for Daryl they will have to be something different, as will his others, only placement will be the same.  
> 
> 2.Merle informed me he didn’t want to die and that he wished to keep his hand – and you know I obey anything he requests of me – thus this story will go to what I personally call Au-ish from Season one. Same characters, same storyline, but not following the exact one already portrayed. 
> 
> 3.Shane obviously doesn’t go insane and get killed and re-killed by Rick and Carl. Just FYI on that for you up front. His relationship with Lori also does not exist. 
> 
> 4.If you haven’t read Play, Punish, Mark, Own you don’t need to, but be advised there will be references to it in this story. 
> 
> 5.This is slash/yaoi/male-on-male so if you don’t like it, don’t continue to read past this point. 
> 
> 6.If you are still reading then be advised that when I get to the sex scenes, they will be explicit, that is how I roll. There is no ‘fade to black’ as they did in Penny Dreadful (apologies, I’ll stop that rant now). 
> 
> Still with me? Excellent, I give you Shane and Daryl…

Mac, it was Mac. Shane shook as he stared at the man walking toward him carrying a bow of all things. No. His mind was fuzzy, it was a crossbow. He trembled, the cold in his bones belying the humid warmth of the day as he stepped forward, open uniform shirt flapping around him.

“Mac, I thought…” The man stops and stares at him with a scowling frown.

“The fuck? I ain’t Mac cop. Don’t know who the fuck you’re talkin’ ‘bout but it ain’t me.” He says with a strident drawl that signals hillbilly. The worst kind of hillbilly.

“Well now Darylena, you got a multiple personality I don’t already know about?” The bull of a man moving up behind Mac sniffs as he looks with eager eyes at Shane despite hovering almost protectively at Mac’s back.

Shane only has eyes for Mac. But before he can move forward, there is a tug on his arm. He looks down and sees a fragile hand tugging his sleeve. “Shane, let’s go.” He looks up into Lori’s grieving gaze and lets her lead him away, her other hand clutching Carl.

##########

“Mac.” Shane whispers softly. Tossing in bed that night he dreams of throbbing pain cutting into his side, blood dripping, and a body slamming inside him, drawing both pain and ecstasy out of him in blinding ropes of pleasure. He wakes, soaking in his own come.

His dream had given him an orgasm he hadn’t even woken up for, his brain had been so mired in his Mac in the deepest recesses of his mind. It had played tricks, Shane thought bitterly, fucking tricks. Allowing him to think for those first few seconds upon waking that Mac was still alive. Shane could swear his scent was hovering in the air as if he’d left the tent only moments before. .

Rubbing himself clean and ignoring the resulting stirring of his cock as he wipes himself off, Shane shakes his head. It can’t be him, he was truly dead. Walter and Devon had killed him, just as he’d taken their lives.

But somewhere, buried down deep, the tiniest kernel of hope sprouted inside Shane that the man he’d seen yesterday was indeed Mac. They had been identical.

It’s a couple of days before he sees him again. The old man, Dale, told him they were the Dixon brother’s. Merle and Daryl. Not Mac, _Daryl_. Still. He had Mac’s mole. His _mole_.

His nights begin to take on the same theme. Dreams of Mac, pain and pleasure coalescing into an orgasm that wakes him with his heart beating out of his chest. But the hope persists.

##########

After they’d been in camp for a few weeks, Shane found himself alone during the morning watch. The place was silent, nothing stirred except the few house animals that had managed to find their way to their ever expanding camp, or were brought along by owners. Shane loved this time of day. He moved off the roof of the campervan quietly, not rocking it or rousing his inhabitants as he stepped lightly down the ladder.

Finishing a call of nature he steps out of the tree line still doing up his belt when he sees Daryl settling his crossbow across his shoulders as he stands outside the tent he shares with his brother. Shane stops and watches him. He’s truly Mac’s twin in every way. Maybe a little heavier, shorter hair for sure.

It was a curiously fashionable cut for the man now that he thought about it, as was that still carefully maintained goatee. Mac’s had been a piece of bum fluff most of the time. Scraggly and growing across his lips until he sat still long enough to let Shane trim it.

He had not been happy when Shane had grown a full beard during the winter he’d been in town. But still, Mac had become a lot more solid once he’d stopped dropping meth like it was fucking candy as well. Daryl was strong, very strong. And quick and light on his feet. Frowning, he spies ink on the back of Daryl’s right shoulder. Just like Mac.

The other tattoos on his hands looked homemade, that one on his shoulder though, that looked professional. As did the red numbers inked on his inner right forearm. From what he could see from the edge of it sticking out from the torn off sleeve of the shirt it was a wing of some kind. An angel? Talk about a fucking juxtaposition. Just like Mac, Daryl was an odd combination. Fucker was hot. Palming his cock Shane stayed still as he drank in Daryl. All the while his mind was picturing Mac. Naked, bleeding, hot, sweaty. _His_. Swearing as Shane fucked him like the animals they both were.

Shane’s mouth watered as he remembered taking Mac, owning him, his mouth licking and sucking over his tattoo’s on his right shoulder, he remembers biting so hard over them in attempt to make his own imprint over the demon that ran his mates soul. He’d drawn blood, put his own scar right there over that exquisite artwork that Mac had worn. His demon’s riding his soul all the way to hell, right alongside Shane.

Fuck, he missed Mac. He’d never considered another man in his life before or after him. His women always a parade through what Lori called his revolving bedroom door. Until now.

Without realising it Shane moans as he thinks of Mac and the pleasure-pain they always drew from each other. Daryl turns, fist raised and knife already unsheathed in his hand. Shane’s heart stops as he sees the fear in his eyes.

It disappeared as soon as he saw Shane, but Shane had still seen it. He steps forward thoughtlessly with a grin, ready to ignore the flash of it for Daryl’s comfort only to stop when Daryl pushes out the knife.

“Stay the fuck away from me cop. Don’t speak, I ain’t whoever you think I am.” His words are terse, barely more than a harsh whisper and he glances back to his tent as he speaks.

“No, I know that, I just…” Shane trails off. He doesn’t know that, not really, not _truly_. And he doesn’t know what the fuck to say. Before he can even think of anything Daryl has somehow faded backward without tripping or falling and disappeared into the trees. Shane blinked. If he hadn’t seen it he wouldn’t believe it.

After standing there like a fool for several minutes he’s roused by an unpleasant noise from the Dixon’s tent. Pulling a face Shane walks away. That was not a snore.

##########

Over the coming weeks, Shane accepts leadership of the camp easily, a burden he shoulders without any issue. It’s what he was trained for after all. They set up perimeters and snares and Glenn goes into town daily. Daryl and Merle hunt game, making sure they all have protein at least. None of them were starving. Glenn’s hauls are too small though. Too small for the size of the camp they are now. They’ve been able to contact people via the CB radio to direct them away from Atlanta, the highways. They’ve been settled for several weeks when Shane gets up the courage to finally confirm Daryl isn’t Mac.

The few encounters they’d had, had only whetted Shane’s appetite to confirm the man who mirrored his mate. He needed to know for sure. And there was only one way to do it as far as he could see. Snorting to himself over the word mate Shane nevertheless felt it appropriate. They were fucking animals. In every way. Wild, feral and untamed. He needed an equal. And he’d never realised that until Mac had taken him and made him his bitch.

And he’d made Mac his in return. Who the hell knew what would come from that? He sure hadn’t.

And so, Shane follows Daryl to the river one evening as he bathes. He’s made sure Lori and Carl are occupied. He isn’t sure what to think of Lori and her clinging. On one hand he understands it, on the other he finds it disturbing. But he can’t turn her away. He misses Rick too. Would never forgive himself for letting him get shot that day. Months ago now.

Shane remembers the argument Lori and Rick had had the day he’d been shot. Rubbing an ache over his heart that was larger now for the loss of Rick as well as Mac he walks steadily down to the creek and follows it to the place Daryl has found that no one else uses.

He’d had to look for it, but he’d found it. He arrives at the clearing just as Daryl walks out of the river. Shane’s mouth waters as he sees his pale skin gleaming in the early evening light. Mac had gleamed like that too.

Stepping forward the one thing he doesn’t expect is the crossbow to come up, loaded and ready to shoot. Though really, he should have, “Easy Mac it’s just me.” He says as he steps forward again, Shane holds his palms up, empty and facing Mac.

“I done fuckin’ told you, _I ain’t Mac_.” The words are still terse, and now uneven though still emphatic. Daryl’s nervous about something. But he stands firm against Shane. Shane’s cock doesn’t care, he wants this person who looks like his Mac.

“Okay, easy. I’m sorry, like I said before, you could be twins. That’s what I wanted to check. Mac, my Mac, he had uh,” Shane paused not sure exactly how to say this but looking at Daryl he knows fucking around isn’t the answer. Honesty is.

“He had some words burned down his side, kinda’ like this.” With that Shane reached back and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, leaving his arms trapped inside it, so he was less of a threat he turned to the side and showed his own scars.

He swallows as he sees Daryl’s eyes drop down. He’s quick, but Shane sees the revulsion as he reads the words before he schools his features to a blank face. The side with _Mac’s_ carved into it first, then the side with _Bitch_ carved into it second. “If I could just see you ain’t got those, I reckon I’ll stop thinkin’ you’re him.” He says. He ignores the ache in his heart that Daryl feels disgust at the marks Mac had put on him. That more than anything told him this wasn’t Mac. But, he couldn’t back out now. Daryl would think he was more of a pussy than he did now. Putting the t-shirt back on again, he hooks his thumbs into his belt and waits Daryl out. He has to know for sure and this is the only way he knows his mind will accept that Daryl is not Mac.

Keeping eye contact, Shane doesn’t look at what else he can see of Daryl’s body. The towel he has around his waist isn’t large but it covers the essentials. Daryl considers him for the longest time, just looks at him. Shane feels like he’s staring into his soul. Like Mac used to. He found himself trembling.

Eventually, Daryl sighs and re-hitches the towel around his waist, then, surprising Shane he stays facing him, puts his crossbow down and grabs his trousers and yanks them on sans underwear. Once they’ve covered him, he lets the towel fall and does them up and buckles his long black belt. “Alright then, see?” He stands in front of Shane with his arms crossed, his palms tucked up under his underarms out of the way so Shane can see his sides.

Stepping forward carefully, Shane keeps his hands away from his gun. He moves forward the remaining steps while keeping his eyes locked with Daryl. When he’s but a step away he takes a breath and looks down.

Nothing. Well not nothing, he can see faded scars all over Daryl’s torso and some along his sides that look like they started on his back. But his sides carry no burned words whatsoever. Before he can stop himself or realise that it won’t be welcomed, Shane reaches out a finger and runs it softly along Daryl’s side.

A sharp hiss answers his touch, he is fascinated to see goose bumps follow the pad of his finger. Then suddenly Daryl has awoken and his hand smacks Shane’s away sharply. “The fuck? I ain’t a fuckin’ fag like you and your _Mac_ , back the fuck away.” Ignoring him now Daryl picks up a sleeveless shirt and buttons it quickly.

Then, gathering his things up he heads back to camp leaving behind a dazed and confused Shane.

##########

Daryl finds himself shivering in the hot humid air that evening as he tries to sleep. Merle thankfully, has decided to sleep in the truck bed with his bike. Protecting his stash.

Rubbing his side again where Shane had stroked him Daryl shifts restlessly. It was crazy but it felt cold to the touch. No, not cold. Cool. Like by touching Daryl he’d somehow lowered his body temperature, but only in that specific spot.

He thinks once again of that long index finger stroking down his side. He’d stroked over Daryl’s scars like they were nothing. Indeed he had some fucking serious scars of his own.

The evening light hadn’t allowed Daryl to see them clearly. But he could see enough to know that words had literally been carved into Shane’s flesh, even though still somewhat neat. and still eminently readable. _Mac’s Bitch._

And Daryl thought his family was fucked in the head.

Shaking his head at the thought that Shane, a fucking cop had allowed himself to be carved up like that Daryl rolled on his side and resolutely willed himself to sleep. He had a long day of hunting tomorrow.

The next day he watches as Lori talks to Shane in the early morning light. He listens but steps away from her touch. Woman was always touching him. Shaking his head Daryl headed off into the woods. Merle was still asleep and Daryl was happy to leave him that way.

“Daryl, wait up.” Daryl scowled at Shane as he jogged toward him. He stopped a little distance away and walked the remaining steps. “Just wanted to say thanks for last night, I’ll try to remember you’re not him. Just fuckin’ weird, even got the same fuckin’ moles and shit, freaky shit man. Though, you got an extra one there.” Shane points to the two moles, on Daryl’s face, one slightly smaller, sitting right by the outside of his nostril. Daryl frowned, Mac had had the same moles as well?

He watched as Shane shakes his head as he swipes of his baseball cap and scratches a hand through his mop of curly hair. It was greasy and looked like he had mini-dreadlocks sticking up everywhere at the moment. It made him look vulnerable Daryl thought.

Something in Daryl unfurled at that thought but he jerked back regardless as Shane went to step further forward. He saw Shane frown at his skittishness. “You okay man?”

Daryl snorted. “Yeah _man_. I’m fuckin’ fine. Got meat to hunt. And for the record, I don’t give a shit about you and your dead faggy boyfriend and your kinky carving names into each other’s skin shit, just stay the fuck away from me.” He turns and fades into the woods leaving Shane staring after him.

Feeling the gaze on him despite being some distance away Daryl looks back. Shane is standing stock still and just watching him. And the crazy fucker is grinning.

He can’t help it, before he turns and moves out of eyesight Daryl flips Shane the bird. He’d deny it if asked but he found himself smiling at the faint chuckle he swears he hears filter over to him.

For now though, he has some hunting to do. And if he wondered exactly what words Shane’s Mac had had burned into his own flesh? Well there wasn’t anyone around to hear his thoughts, so that was okay.

##########

 

Shane talks to the main group a few weeks later. He’s already spoken to Glenn and while he’s not happy, but he sees the sense in what Shane is proposing. None of them are happy. Lori refuses point blank to let him even consider heading into the city. Shane agrees if only because he knew for a fact he wouldn’t shop well.

Sure he’d remember bullets, some food. But anything else he’d plumb forget and he knew it. Dale had already said he shouldn’t go either. But not because he was leader. Because he was the only one who stood any chance of keeping the Dixon’s in line.

He’d noticed himself Merle seemed to back down around him, Shane knew it was because he was mostly on something and didn’t want him to know it. Mac, no _Daryl,_ he could tell immediately didn’t touch any mind altering substance at all thank fuck. It was going to be bad enough when Merle blew through his stash, he didn’t need to deal with both brother’s coming down. At least he knew what to expect after having gone through it up close and personal with Mac.

After a time they decide no female parent’s should go into town. Which left Andrea and Jacqui going and while Andrea didn’t mind, her younger sister Amy sure did. Shane had developed a massive headache as he was sure Glenn had by the time the group had been decided.

Merle had volunteered, Shane had accepted for one reason. The man could shoot, they’d need a lookout. Glenn sighed as he walked with Shane that evening.

“You’re killing me man, making me responsible for all these people.” He took off his own baseball cap and scratched through his hair. It was hanging in dirty clumps.

“I know, but we need the supplies, I’m thinkin’ we need to maybe make a move. Just ‘cause they ain’t made it this far up the mountain yet, don’t mean the geeks won’t. We ain’t prepared and we should be.” Shane swipes his own hat off and scratches his head. “I’m thinkin’ Fort Benning, what do you think?” Glenn looks at him and Shane looks back puzzled.

“You’re asking my opinion?” Glenn says in a shocked tone.

“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” Shane asks him as he settles his cap back on his head.

“No, I just thought you were happy making the decisions.” Glenn says as he pushes his hair back and puts his own cap back on as well.

“You’re valuable, I appreciate valuable, you’re sneaky and I appreciate that more than I can say.” Shane says bluntly. He knows Glenn is sneaky, he has to be to get around in Atlanta without any trouble. “Plus, you don’t complain and whine, you do what needs to be done, only one maybe two other people here to do that and ain’t that a fuckin’ shame.” He mutters his last sentence but Glenn hears him.

“Daryl’s like that.” He says as he looks directly at Shane.

Keeping eye contact Shane puts his hands on his hips. Glenn was ferretting. But he’d answer anyway. “Yeah, he is, valuable and appreciated by me even if no one else.” Shane confirms Glenn’s thoughts.

“I, uh, don’t think he swings toward liking men though.” Glenn stammers as he says this, half expecting Shane to beat him to a bloody pulp.

“I never used to either, but that is a discussion for another time boy, let’s get back, you need a good night’s sleep.” They walk back slowly together.

When the come into the camp night has fallen. They gather around the campfire and accept their meals. Shane thinks he’ll take a walk down and bathe later on, it’s a warm night, should be nice and peaceful.

Making sure Lori and Carl are settled he says goodnight to them and grabs a towel, soap and a clean change of clothing. “Mind some company?” Glenn asks as he steps out of his own tent carrying the same things.

“Nah, ‘bout conversed out though.” Shane warns him.

“After the day I’ve had, silence will be nothing but a blessing Shane.” Shane chuckles at Glenn’s weary words. They’re true though. The discussions and debates over the larger group going to town had exhausted him too.

They walk down the path to the water and then Shane leads Glenn along to the small clearing Daryl used. “Wow, I had no idea this was here.” Glenn says as they begin to disrobe.

Getting naked Shane takes up his cake of soap and walks over the rocks and into the water until it reaches his thighs. Then he begins to wash himself down. Glenn does the same. As Shane had said there was no conversation.

Feeling himself relax in Glenn’s company was a nice change. Usually he’d only ever relaxed like that with Mac. Or Rick. God he missed them.

Submerging himself in the river to rinse off, Shane stands and begins to walk to shore. He is brought up short as he sees a shadow standing over his clothes. It takes him a few seconds to realise its Daryl.

“Hey Daryl,” He says companionably. “It’s sure a nice night for bathin’ go on in. Moon ain’t too bright.” Shane says to him. He continues walking forward and deliberately doesn’t look at Daryl as he stands and stares at Shane.

Taking up his towel he dries himself off as Glenn emerges from the river behind him. “Hey Daryl, isn’t this place great? Shane just showed it to me.” Glenn takes up his own towel. Both he and Shane are comfortable in their nudity.

“Yeah, it is great.” Daryl says with a sarcastic tinge to his voice. He drops his crossbow and then begins to disrobe as well. Shane notices he doesn’t show them his back, kind of doing a mincing sideways walk to the river, cake of soap and shampoo in his hand.

“Am I interrupting something?” Glenn asks quietly as Daryl dunks himself in the water.

“Hell no, stay and sit awhile, I don’t want to go back yet and I think I make Daryl uneasy enough that he’d stick me if I made a wrong move.” Shane looks at Glenn.

“Okay, I didn’t want to go back straight away anyway.” Glenn says. They dry off and Shane dresses in his cargos and pulls on his boots, leaving off his shirt he spreads his towel out and lies down on it. The rocks aren’t comfortable, but he’s still enjoying being outside and away from the odor of the camp. The night was finally giving away to something approaching cool which made it more pleasant.

Glenn dresses fully but lies down as well. Neither of them talk as they look at the stars and listen with half an ear to Daryl’s bathing. He seems to be taking an inordinate amount of time. Shane slowly realises that he’s not wanting to get out of the water while they’re still there.

Rolling his eyes he sits up. “Daryl get the fuck out, you ain’t got nothin’ we ain’t seen before.” He lies back down as Glenn snickers.

He hears some muttered cursing and then Daryl wades out of the water. Shane resolutely keeps his eyes closed. He hears Daryl wiping himself off and the sounds of his getting dressed, then he jerks, his pectoral muscles flexing as cool water sprinkles down on him. Opening his eyes he looks up to see Daryl flicking water at he and Glenn from a rag he’d soaked.

“Fuckers.” He says in a surprisingly mild voice. He sits down to put his boots on but then surprises both men by staying. He bunches up his towel to use as a pillow. “You take care of my brother tomorrow Chinaman, you hear me?” He says without looking at Glenn as he sticks a twig in his mouth and begins to chew on it.

“I’m Korean.” Glenn says mildly with a sigh. Shane thinks he sounds like he’s said those two words his whole life.

“I know.” Daryl answers and Glenn sighs louder. Shane shakes his head.

“You really enjoy fuckin’ with people don’t you Daryl?” He says as he sits up and hooks his arms around his knees as he raises them. He deliberately doesn’t look at Daryl or Glenn.

“Yep.” Daryl answers as he moves his twig from one side of his mouth to the other. Before he can say anything further Glenn switches on a small torch and flicks it over them both. The light pauses on Shane’s side.

“Dude, what the hell is that, is that a word?” Glenn’s voice is shocked, but it carries a hint of something else as well. Shane doesn’t look for what else it might be.

“Yeah, it’s a word Glenn and yeah it was carved into my skin, same as the word on my other side.” Shane answers him evenly. He looks over at Glenn and sees him looking back. He nods at Glenn’s raised brow and he gets up and walks around to Shane’s other side. Standing on the other side of Daryl, Glenn shines the torch down Shane’s flank, reading that word too. Shane doesn’t turn to see if Daryl is taking advantage and having a closer look under the torchlight.

“ _Mac’s Bitch_. Shit man that had to hurt.” Glenn moves back to his own towel and sits down again, this time cross legged and facing Shane.

“It did, believe me it did.” Shane answers him. No use lying. Anyone with half a brain could tell it had hurt. “I’ve managed to keep anyone else from seein’ it ‘till now though, you understand?” He asks Glenn.

“Yeah, yeah. I understand.” Glenn says as he switches off the torch. Silence descends on the three men. It’s a surprisingly comfortable one given the men and their differences.

In the old world they would have maybe crossed paths on a street somewhere, Shane may have given them a ticket, Daryl may have fixed an alternator for Glenn and Glenn may have delivered one or both of them a pizza. But that would have been the extent of their interactions. And indeed, apart from Shane, neither Glenn nor Daryl knew what each other had done for a living. Shane, they both knew and Shane knew what job they had both held too. For Shane himself though, it was obvious from the day he’d arrived. The other two? Not so much. Shane knew because he’d checked what people had done in order to look at what jobs they should be assigned to keep the camp running as smoothly as possible.

This world, this world as it was now, was making them all forge new alliances. And they were beginning to discover that the three of them, well they may have had more in common than they thought.

Not the least of which was the fact that they were all happy sitting there in silence.

After a time Glenn speaks. “How the hell did you end up with those words cut into you Shane? It must’ve been hell.” He says the last sentence softly.

Shane doesn’t answer for a time, but he can feel both men waiting for an answer, just as he can sense Glenn won’t press the question any further. And Daryl would never press.

“I don’t rightly know that anything I say will make sense Glenn. Mac…” Shane paused for a while and again neither man said anything, letting him think on what to say, or even whether he’ll say anything at all.

Cruising down memory lane Shane wonders exactly what he can say that would make sense. “He was…volatile I guess would be a word you could use. Crazy if I’m bein’ properly honest. But,” Pausing again Shane thought of Mac and smiled slowly. “He was my kind of crazy. We fit. Hell, maybe we were each other’s kind of crazy.”

“Huh,” Glenn said after a time when he realised Shane had finished talking. “Your kind of crazy. That makes a disturbing amount of sense. And I’m even more disturbed to realise that I don’t care, I think I like you anyway.”

Shane’s head jerks up and Glenn suddenly bursts into laughter. “No, shit! Not like that, dude eww!” He exclaims and Shane breathes a sigh of relief.

“Good thing man, Mac is the only man I’ve ever fucked or let fuck me, I ain’t lookin’ to go down that path again.” Shane jerks as Daryl finally enters the conversation.

“Yeah well, Lori’s got ideas on that.” He says no more as his eyes flick up to Shane and then down again.

“True.” Glenn concurs before Shane can say anything.

“Hell.” Is all he can say. To have his suspicions confirmed by two other men no less means his concerns are valid. “Hell.” He repeats himself.

Standing up, Shane’s good mood has been taken by the thought of Lori. “Guess I’d better be headin’ back. Night all.” He says as he grabs up his towel and dirty clothing.

He’s away and up the path before Glenn or Daryl can answer.

They lie there for several more minutes, but the silence isn’t comfortable with Shane missing. Glenn eventually stands and gather’s his things without speaking. With a muttered goodnight he walks back up the trail as well.

Daryl lingers a while longer. He can smell Shane and Glenn still on the air. He puzzles over his feelings, it’s something he’s not used to, looking into how he’s feeling. It comes to him slowly that he feels relaxed.

He puzzles over why, right now with the world in a state of chaos he’s feeling that way. And that answer comes to him slowly as well. Because being around Shane and to a lesser degree Glenn was relaxing. Shane, and Glenn were both capable men, they didn’t rely on Daryl in anyway, could look out for other’s and handle themselves without fanfare or the need for assistance.

Shaking his head, Daryl rises and gather’s his belongings as well. Looked like he’d be sharing this clearing with them both from now on. He was halfway back to camp before he realised he was surprisingly okay with that.

Two days later, Daryl meets Rick Grimes. It is _not_ love at first sight.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Merle has been left behind. Left on a roof top to die. Not even killed, but left to _die_. That thought alone sears through Daryl’s brain like a shiv. They’d left him to die. His brother. Who the fuck cared that he insulted them, was high? Merle was his brother, his _brother_.

Fury the likes of which he’s never felt before has him attacking only to be held back. When he has calmed, he listens to the discussions between Rick Grimes and Shane and Lori. It dawns on Daryl slowly that this man, Rick is Lori’s supposedly dead husband.

Flicking a glance at Shane he sees relief and grief in his eyes as he looks at Rick. Curling in on himself, Daryl ignores Shane as he and Rick decide to go into town. Glenn is convinced to come along and T-Dog volunteers.

“What kind of fuckin’ name is T-Dog anyway?” He grumbles to himself.

“It’s short for Theodore.” Is the answer he’s given. Rolling his eyes Daryl ignores that and they travel into town. He resolutely ignores Shane’s subtle bids for his attention. He didn’t care. He wasn’t his sick faggy boyfriend _Mac_.

Daryl still wasn’t sure how the fuck Shane had replaced Rick. As long as they found Merle, was probably best if Rick wasn’t there anyway. Merle would likely kill him next time he saw him. Especially if he was high. Which was a reason Daryl had left Merle’s stash behind. Yeah, he’d catch hell for it, but all that mattered to him at the moment was getting his brother, making sure he was alive, not bitten. The rest would just need to wait. Besides, wouldn’t be the first time he’d caught a broken rib or black eye from his brother when he was coming down off of something.

##########

Shane cut the lock with the bolt cutters and handed them off to T-Dog as he shouldered the door open and they all burst out onto the rooftop. “Hold up!” He exclaimed quietly, grabbing Daryl as he tried to go past him. “Listen to him for fuck’s sake.” He hissed.

The four of them stopped and listened to Merle’s wails and grunts. “You two keep back, especially you T, he don’t sound so good. Did you bring any of his stash?” he questioned Daryl now, absently noting how he was standing right up against Daryl’s furnace-like body. They both ignored T-Dog’s huff ‘I knew it’ and Glenn’s unsurprised ‘I hope not’.

“No, he’d be worse.” Daryl muttered as he vibrated with the need to go to his brother.

Nodding, Shane inhaled. “Okay, you know him best. Let’s do this. T you still stay back, Glenn don’t get close either man.” They move forward at a slow pace, each of them trying to brace themselves for the vitriol they know will spew down on them when Merle catches sight of them all.

That slow pace increases dramatically when a keening howl of pain fills the air. Running the last paces, Shane jerks to a stop as Daryl falls to his knees beside Merle, reaching for him and pulling the hacksaw away from his wrist. “Mer!” He exclaimed as he grasped Merle’s head and held it to his neck as he looked over his shoulder. “Fucking get this shit off!” He yelled at Shane, his eyes were wet and furiously scared as Merle collapsed on him, rambling about not begging.

Shane falls to his knees now and obeys Daryl’s strident order. He can feel Glenn and T-Dog behind him. “Glenn gather the tools for us, we need to get the fuck outta’ here a-sap.” He said as the bolt cutters bite through the cuffs. Leaving the one on Merle’s wrist, Shane goes to stand but a strong, bruisers hand grabs him. Shane looks at Merle as his fingers rip the shoulder seam of Shane’s t-shirt from its stitching with his grip. “Merle, we need to get you the fuck outta’ here man.” Shane says quietly. He can see the pain in Merle’s face, his sunburned, cracked and bleeding face. “Let Daryl give you some water and then we need to go.” Nevertheless, Shane waits for Merle’s grip to lessen as his mind furrows through Shane’s words, his brow finally smoothing out as he nods and tries to rise.

“I got you Mer.” Daryl says as he helps him up, keeping Merle’s attention away from T-Dog for as long as he can. He doesn’t want to, but he throws a pleading look at Shane who nods and moves to Merle’s other side.

When he catches sight of T-Dog after Daryl wraps his bleeding wrist in a bandana, Merle narrows his eyes before looking away without saying a word. “Fuck.” Daryl muttered quietly to himself. If Merle wasn’t going off that meant he’d already come down and his mind was working like the military machine he’d once been. Working through just how he could get even and make people pay for his slights, real or imagined. Daryl winced at the thought but shoved it to the side for the time being.

In the kitchen down in the basement of the next building over, he dressed Merle’s wound. “Don’t look like you cut any tendons, sure didn’t get the artery thank fuck.” He muttered as he bandaged it properly.

When he’d finished, Merle made a fist with a wince. “Still got the touch Darylena, shoulda’ been a nurse.” He grinned somewhat madly as he drew Daryl into a one-armed hug before Daryl managed to squirm free. He was never comfortable being touched, even by Merle when there were witnesses. But Merle had never cared for what Daryl did and didn’t like. His standing argument was Daryl should be touched so he’d get used to it. Daryl’s rhetoric was to tell Merle to fuck off.

Shane watched, Daryl could feel his dark eyes taking everything in. “Where’s that fuckin’ cop?” Merle asks Daryl quietly. But Shane heard.

“Back at the camp Merle, I know what he did and it ain’t right, I get that, but you’ll lose again if you take him on.” Shane says no more, but he doesn’t have to.

Daryl tenses as he watches his brother. Maybe he should have brought some of his stash. With his next breath he knows he did the right thing by leaving it behind. “Yeah, turns out he’s Lori’s not dead husband.” Daryl clarifies what Shane hadn’t said for some reason.

“Knew that fuckin’ brat had to have some cop blood in him, with his _flagrant_ disregard for authority an’ all.” Merle says sarcastically now as he stands and cracks his neck. “Well what the fuck are we waitin’ for?”

“Just you boy, just you.” Shane says as he nods to Glenn and T-Dog. “Let’s go get them guns and get back. You miss anything yesterday we need to get today Glenn?” Shane asks him, Merle stares at him, then turns to Glenn.

“Couple of things, we might be able to swing them today, I don’t know.” Glenn murmurs as he looks at Merle. “I’m Korean as you know and if you call me yellow again I’ll slice your balls off with the scalpel I got as a graduation gift when my parents tried to get me to go pre-med in college.” He stepped back, not breaking eye contact. “Just FYI.”

Raising an eyebrow at Glenn’s sass, Daryl looked at Merle, waiting for his inevitable tantrum. He shouldn’t call it that, but it was exactly what Merle threw at times. Tantrums like a two year old on speed, or what he imagined one to be rather.

But Merle surprises him by looking away and flexing his huge hands. He stands and grabs up Daryl’s backpack and moves toward the entrance opposite the one they’d entered by, grabbing up a meat cleaver on the way, holding it somewhat awkwardly in his left hand.

With a sigh, Daryl follows him. In the next building over, Glenn works out their plan and they put it into place. When the Mex kid comes along, followed by the car, things go to shit. But they keep their guns. And Merle throwing the cleaver through the windscreen of the old souped up vehicle scares the rest of them off, the kid from the alley running along the street behind the car.

“Let’s get the fuck outta’ here.” Shane’s breathless voice seeps through Daryl’s adrenalin charged blood making him jerk.

The walk back to the van is silent, tense and awkward. Daryl can tell that the T person wants to apologise but knows better and he can tell Merle’s tantrum still simmering just below his brother’s mercurial surface.

Taking a breath in, he holds it and then lets it out slowly, jerking a little when a sweaty forearm brushes his bicep as he holds his crossbow ready. “Think Merle is gonna cause any trouble at camp?” Shane asks him quietly as he adjusts the heavy weapons bag.

Shifting away enough that none of his body touches Shane’s, Daryl takes his time answering. “Eventually.” He finally gives in and tells Shane the truth.

“Can you stop him?” Shane asks now, voice whispering so Daryl has to strain to hear him.

“Maybe.” He answers immediately this time. “Maybe not. Depends on how useful he sees everyone else. And that ain’t sayin’ much, ‘cause most of you ain’t of any use to us at all.” Daryl glances over and slightly up at Shane, his eyes widening a little when Shane’s catch his in return.

Looking away, he puts Shane out of his mind and focuses on his brother and getting back to camp. Increasing his stride, Daryl catches up with Merle. “I wanna take a closer look at that damn cut when we get back, so no takin’ off, hear?” He sounds irascible and doesn’t care that Merle will call him on it.

“Well, what’s crawled up your ass baby brother?”

“Ain’t nothin’ a good night’s sleep without you jawing my ear off won’t fix.” Daryl lies without a qualm. They get into the truck, Glenn not hesitating to get in the back with him and Merle after tossing Daryl a warning look. Daryl nodded in acknowledgement of Glenn’s warning that he’d better keep Merle in line.

Long as Merle found Glenn useful, Glenn wouldn’t have too much of a problem.

But keeping Merle in line would be a full time job for the most part Daryl had a feeling.

##########

Shane sighs as he wades into the stream in the dark.

They’d gotten back to camp without any more trouble, kept the guns and retrieved Merle none the worse for wear mostly. He’d obeyed Morales’ wife and taken to his tent with a boatload of water and a couple of salt tablets after letting her and Daryl fuss at him. Her nursing experience had come in handy today. Shane was just glad Merle had let her tend to him and so far had stayed away from his stash.

A footstep behind him followed by a grunt lets him know Daryl had arrived to wash too. “Ain’t leavin’ anytime soon, best get used to me bein’ here.” He says conversationally as he ducks down, immersing himself up to his neck.

The words “Me too.” Float down to them as Glenn breaks out of the trees at a fast walk, taking off his shirt and toeing off his shoes before Daryl has even taken off his boots. Shane ducks right under the water for a few seconds as Glenn pulls off his socks. By the time he rises up, Glenn is naked and in water up to his knees with shampoo, soap and a rag in his hand.

Daryl finally enters the water after Shane and Glenn begin to wash. He submerges totally and pops up a little distance away at a rock. He reaches into a nook as Shane half-watches while he scrubs his hair and pulls out some soap and a brush. With Shane and Glenn watching fully now, he begins to scrub himself down harshly, deliberately ignoring them as he goes.

Shaking his head, Shane finishes washing himself and wades out of the water again. Drying off, Glenn joins him and they lie down as they did last time. This time they don’t have to tell Daryl to get out of the water, he does so of his own volition.

Listening to the night and various animals in it making their usual noises, Shane begins to relax. None of them talk and Daryl settles down beside him again, silent and still once he’s prone.

If Shane couldn’t feel his body heat, he’d not even know he was there, he was that quiet.

“Shane?” Glenn’s voice has a question in it that Shane has a feeling he’s not going to like.

“Yeah?” He answers anyway.

“Did you want those words carved into you?” His voice whispers across the night like velvet across Shane’s clean skin. The words bring back memories, arousing memories, painful ones, horrible ones joyful ones. They make his hair stand on end and they make his blood thrum in his veins.

“No.” He answers shortly.

It’s awhile before Glenn continues. “But, you and Mac had…” He trailed off before taking a deep breath, “A relationship?” He finished his query.

“Yeah.” Shane moved his hands to behind his head, letting the slight breeze waft over his underarms, he’d run out of deodorant a couple of days ago and hadn’t bothered to check if any had been included in Glenn’s hauls.

“I don’t understand.” Glenn finally says.

Shane doesn’t answer that.

But Daryl does.

“You don’t gotta’ understand Chinaman. Weren’t you fuckin’ around with either of ‘em, ain’t none of your damn business.”

“I know that! I just want to make sure Shane is okay!” Glenn’s exasperated answer shocks Shane, makes him turn and look at the younger man.

“Glenn, I’m fine. It was years ago. Mac’s been gone for…” Shane trailed off as he thought about exactly how long it had been. Longer than he wanted to admit. “He’s been gone for a while. Let it be. We’ve got worse things to worry about.”

“Like what? The end of the fuckin’ world? That’s worse than your girly faggy kinky shit? Let’s make sure we all got our priorities straight.” Daryl’s dry voice drifted over Shane’s nerve endings, sending blood south. It was so different to Mac’s harsh, husky whisper. It was rare for him to speak in a normal voice. Had been rare, Shane cursed silently at his use of the tenses.

Flexing his abdominal muscles, Shane sat up, dragged on his clean shirt and tugged on his boots. Then he stood fluidly, knowing both men were watching him. “Exactly like that. And like Rick wantin’ to head back into the heart of Atlanta to the CDC instead of onto Fort Benning. And like Ed beatin’ on Carol more and more and your fuckin’ brother comin’ down off whatever the fuck he’s been takin’.” Shane grabbed up his cap and sat it backward on his head and then headed back to camp and his hot tent. Several steps away, he pauses and then tosses back over his shoulders. “Both of you go fuck yourselves.” He knew he was feeling the loss of Mac. That while Glenn had meant no harm, he’d brought home to Shane exactly how long Mac had been gone. How long he’d been mourning him.

All the women he’d fucked around with since then had been nothing but a hole to stick his dick in. Wrapped in latex, never bare. He’d never done bare sex in his life except for Mac.

And yes, Shane knew they were fucked up. They’d fucked each other over and then somehow had come together despite that. A need for…no…a thirst for revenge had seen him return to Mac tenfold what Mac had done to him.

And somehow, through all that, _despite_ all that a relationship had developed. Settling down in his tent, Shane rubbed his side, feeling the ridges of his scars. _Mac_ , forever a part of Shane. Something he wouldn’t have any other way.

_“Deeper fuck you! Harder!” Shane’s words spat out, harsh and staccato in the heated bedroom. It smelled of sweat, blood and come. “There…yeah…fuck Mac, yessss…” Shane’s voice trailed off as Mac’s wicked chuckle filtered across his back, like demon breath stroking across his sweat-soaked skin. Shane can feel the scratches on his back stinging from his sweat, he can smell his blood oozing from them._

A throat clearing outside his tent followed by “Shane?” brings him back to the present, his hole clenching spasmodically around nothing, instead of Mac’s hard cock.

Clearing his own throat, Shane speaks. “What?” He recognises the voice.

There is a pause as if the person is uncertain of what to say with Shane’s abrupt answer. “Can I come in?”

Rolling to his feet, Shane unzips his tent and steps out. “What Rick?” He scratches a hand through his hair even as his mind filters back to Mac, being with Mac, fucking and being fucked by Mac.

“I just wanted to talk to you about the CDC. I’ve spoken to most of the camp now. They agree.”

“Sure, but only on the condition that when that falls through, we go to Fort Benning.” Shane doesn’t even bother trying to argue, it would be useless. “And we take everyone.” He eyes Rick carefully, making sure he’s aware of what Shane hasn’t verbalised.

“Now Shane, you know they’ll probably refu…”

“You get ‘em to come Rick. You make sure of it, we need ‘em.” Rick frowns and Shane chuckles. “I take it no one has told you that they both hunt? Both get us meat and keep our protein up? And some wild vegetables and shit?” Shane shakes his head. “When the CDC falls through - and it will fall through - and we head to Fort Benning, we’ll need ‘em on the road. Sides, they ain’t that bad, you’ve just had Lori yammerin’ in your ear all day. Givin’ you high falutin’ ideas and shit.” Shaking his head, Shane ducks back inside his tent.

“Shane?” Rick asks after a minute as Shane settles back down on his cot again.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for takin’ care of my family.” Ricks quiet words streak through Shane’s rising grief all over again.

“Anytime man.” Shane answers softly as Rick walks away. He fucking missed Mac. He was made for this end of the world shit. He’d be thriving now. Shane along with him.

Closing his eyes, Shane lets himself drift, not focussing on any one thing. The last thing he remembers before sleep finally claims him is Daryl’s strident voice calling him faggy.

##########

Rolling over on his side, Daryl looks at Shane’s dark tent. He’d seen Rick go over and talk to him just as he’d gotten back to his own tent. Merle’s snoring had derailed his thought to head in and sleep on his cot. So he’d settled down in the bed of his truck beside Merle’s bike. Merle had a cot in here too so he was actually level with the top of the truck bed so he could see out over the camp.

Jim up on the roof, Morales walking his youngest child to sleep by the fire. The hulking form of Ed in his tent before he switched off his lantern. And Shane’s tent. A single person tent, set a little away from everyone else as if he needed some privacy. Daryl figured it was because he had so many people clinging to him during the day, clamoring for his attention that he set himself a little apart at night for the smallest piece of privacy he could get.

It grated on Daryl that he felt like he needed to apologise to Shane for calling him faggy and kinky and shit. Shane was that way inclined, but he guessed he didn’t need to actually call him that. Sighing, Daryl closed his eyes to his awkward thoughts.

Resolutely pushing every thought of Shane and his faggy inclinations and his obviously long dead and kinky and faggy boyfriend from his mind, he made himself go to sleep. He could think about whether he would apologise in the morning. Maybe.

The next day Merle lazes around as Daryl does a quick check of some snares they’d set up. He comes across a walker caught in one of the larger ones. Back at camp he dresses the game as he mentions it to Merle. “Guess they’re comin’ up, maybe scent us or somethin’.” Merle answers laconically. “Time for us to be on our way anyhow.” He stretches as he glances at Daryl with a hard look. “’Less you’re wantin’ to stay now you’re all girly friends with the chink and the cop.”

Narrowing his eyes at Merle, Daryl points his knife at him warningly. “I ain’t the one who wants to do that shit an’ you know it Mer. We should stick around, help out if we can. Wouldn’t be the worst thing.” He says no more, merely lets Merle work it through for himself. Pushing him never worked, telling him he couldn’t rob the camp would result in the opposite happening. Just as he’s finished with the game, Merle’s voice startles him.

“Yo _Korea_ , grab your flat-nose cop friend and get your asses over here.” The emphasis on the word Korea makes Glenn roll his eyes, Daryl is sure of it when he hears the huff of breath. But several minutes later Glenn and Shane are at the Dixon’s fire, squatting around it, eyeing off the meat Merle had set to cooking. They always kept a small animal for themselves though they handed everything else off.

“Go on then, take a piece for yourselves, it’s cooked through.” Daryl grunts as he squats as well. It escapes his notice how well the four of them make do without utensils and seats.

When they’re finished eating and wiping the juices from their chins, Daryl spits on the ground. “Found a dead one, still movin’ in one of the snares.” He says no more waiting for the inevitable questions.

“How far from camp?” Shane asks immediately.

“Managed to avoid the two further out, so while it weren’t close, can’t say I’m comfortable with how close it did end up gettin’.” Daryl chews on a piece of grass, shifting it from one side of his mouth to the other. “You should maybe tell your cop buddy that we’d best be on our way, ‘specially seein’ as he seems to be the one in charge now.” He throws that last bit in to see how Shane reacts to it. It had surprised Daryl to come back from one day, one freaking day away to see Rick Grimes firmly ensconced as camp leader.

He got it sure, Rick was personable, Shane was competent, highly so, but he could be abrupt and was prone to tell people what to do instead of suggesting and letting them work it out for themselves. Ed Peletier was a case in point. Shane got sick of him so today at the river he’d taken matters into his own hands.

Rick had pulled him off Ed and Ed had taken to his tent, to nurse his wounds and verbally order his wife and kid around now. Personally Daryl applauded his actions, no one else was gonna do anything, not even him and Merle. No one had interfered with them growing up, and they didn’t see the need to interfere with others. Though Merle had muttered about all bets bein’ off if Ed had started in on his daughter. And Daryl had agreed with that.

Still and all though, it didn’t sit right with Daryl that the camp had thrown Shane over so easily. And as much as Mer wouldn’t admit it, it didn’t sit right with him either. Though his reason was mostly because he hated Rick for handcuffing him. Daryl could respect that.

But he’d never agreed to rob the camp, had always thought he could talk Merle out of it. Just before was the closest he’d come to outright defiance.

Daryl re-enters the conversation when his name is called. “…how long?”

“What?” He blinks and squints owlishly making Merle snort and toss a clump of dirt at his head.

“Get with the fuckin’ program Darylena. I’m fucked if I know how you survive out there on your own.”

Smiling, Shane asks his question again. “I was askin’ how soon you think we should move on, how long?”

“Today’d be good.” Daryl answers honestly. “This is a good place, but seein’ as you ain’t gonna fortify it more, the sooner we get movin’ the better.” He stands and stretches, missing the way Shane’s eyes track his pants dropping a couple of inches to ride down low on his pelvis, though Merle doesn’t.

“I’ll talk to Rick.” Shane stands and rolls his shoulders, missing the way Daryl’s eyes track him in return now, though no one notices that, not even Merle. And Daryl catches himself before his eyes drift below Shane’s belt with a silent, blushing curse. He wasn’t no fag, he fucking _wasn’t_.

“I’ll come with.” Glenn says as he stands and shoves his ball cap back on his head. He stops and looks back at Merle, “I’m sorry. And…thanks.” He says no more and doesn’t explain why he’d said thanks. Why he’d apologised was obvious. Glenn had not known Merle had been left behind as he’d been in the red herring vehicle. Before Merle can make any snarky comment at all, he’s striding off toward Rick with Shane following. They leave both the Dixon’s looking after them.

Watching surreptitiously, Daryl sees Shane speak to Rick and him glance over at them, then Glenn speaks though the way he jerks his head back at one stage tells Daryl something has pissed him off. That is confirmed by the way he just shakes his head and turns away. Shane gets in Rick’s face though, their voices rising though not enough for either Dixon to hear.

Merle is practically salivating at Rick coming off worse, Daryl dreads whatever revenge he’s got cooking for him, because he does have something in mind and for T-Dog as well. Probably for the women too if he’s honest. Merle was equal opportunity that way. “Fuck it all to hell.” Daryl mutters as he rises and stalks over to Shane and Rick. He can hear Merle muttering as well before he gets up and follows. Morales has weighed in on the argument now as Daryl strides up. “You think I’m lyin’ about seein’ one of them things up here _Deputy_? How ‘bout you and me take a walk so you can see it for yourself?” He places emphasis on the word deputy having overheard Rick say that’s what he’d been. So while he was a leader, he hadn’t been the actual sheriff of whatever Bumfuck town he and Shane had policed.

“No Daryl, I don’t. And I don’t need to see it. I also just don’t think we need to move quite so quick is all. We should pack properly, make sure we’ve got all we can take. We more than likely won’t be back here after all.” His words are slow, like molasses, his wife’s are sharp, like the staccato hit of stiletto heels on a concrete sidewalk. They make a curious couple. Shaking his head, Daryl turns away.

“Me an’ my brother could have this entire camp picked over an’ packed up by mid-afternoon.” Is all he says as he shakes his head and turns around, heading back to his own tent with Merle still following him.

“’S what we were gonna fuckin’ do anyway.” Merle mutters as they settle down again. Daryl ignores his words. It’s what Merle had been going to do. Daryl hadn’t planned on taking part in robbing the camp blind, though he hadn’t figured out how he was going to stop Mer either.

##########

Deliberately relaxing his jaw, Shane shifts on his cot. He’d packed everything up and put it in his jeep. Rick and his family were going to go with Dale. Grinding his teeth to a nub wasn’t going to get them going any quicker. Fuck it all to hell.

Sitting up, Shane shifts and pulls his boots on before standing. It was early and though he had a later watch but he couldn’t sleep. Leaving his tent, he meandered toward the fire pit Morales had just built up that day. He sits at the back and listens to the conversation move around him without partaking in it.

Lori had Carl snugged up beside her Rick on her other side. Neither of the Dixon’s were around though Glenn was. Half-listening to Andrea sprout some nonsense on something, Shane sniggers when Amy mouths off at her over going to the toilet.

Letting himself doze a little with the pleasant warmth of the fire and the slowly dwindling conversation, Shane is startled awake by a scream followed by a thud. He is up, gun drawn in an instant. But it is too late.

Amy is down, arm torn apart by the zombie that is now attached to the RV by the axe Merle had hurled at it. Shane pivots and aims as all hell breaks loose.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Shane sighs as he unobtrusively watches Andrea. They were talking about the fact that Amy was dead. Daryl had offered to ensure from a distance that Amy wouldn’t rise again as they were all waiting for her to do. But Rick wanted to speak to Andrea, thought he could negotiate with her.

Watching Rick kneel down, Shane’s attention is caught by Merle, hovering silently in the background nearer the campervan. He’d not been a part of the recent conversation, but he was watching. Cleaning silently, mainly belongings and shit, not the people, leaving that to Daryl so he didn’t have to deal with the survivors Shane guessed.

Shane’s heart stopped as Andrea drew her handgun on Rick.

And then from nowhere, Merle swooped in, shoving Andrea’s hand up and pushing her away even as he managed to shove a knife through Amy’s ear and into her brain. He stayed still for a few seconds as Andrea screamed and beat her fists against his back.

As he stood, Daryl moved forward and Shane found himself mirroring him as they stepped up. Just as they reached Merle, he suddenly jerked around and face palmed Andrea, shoving her back so she sprawled on her ass in the dirt. Shane shook his head at the sudden absence of sound. The whole camp was still, frozen to whatever ground they were inhabiting, watching Merle act as no one else had had the guts to do.

“Fuckin’ stupid cunt. All the fuckin’ lot of you!” He exclaimed finally as he wiped his knife free of Amy’s blood and body tissue before re-sheathing it on his hip. “And you Darylena, takin’ orders from a fuckin’ Sheriff’s Deputy, the same fuckin’ cunt of a thing who left me – y’all’s brother – on a fuckin’ rooftop to die a slow death we wouldn’t wish on our worst fuckin’ enemies.” His words stop the camp further, making everyone freeze again in their tracks from the small rodent-like movements they’d begun when Merle had first started speaking. Now though, they all became silent sentinels, watching Merle’s chest heave.

As Merle looked around, Shane’s own eyes followed where he looked. Dale hovering ineffectively over Andrea, Glenn over by the graves they’re digging. Jim’s shadow in the doorway of the RV as he holds a bloody rag to his mouth. Morales’ wife holding her children’s hands with her husband over by the burning pile of corpses. Lori shading her eyes as she watched them, focused more on Rick as she held Carl by his shoulder so he wouldn’t stray. Carol scavenging through her ravaged tent with her daughter’s miniature pre-pubescent body standing close to her side.

And seeing them through Merle’s eyes, Shane also found them wanting. Judgmental, whining good for nothings. Still though, he needed for Daryl to stay with them, with him. That meant Merle had to stay as well. “Rick.” Waiting until Rick looked at him, Shane jerked his head at Merle. “Apologise.” He says no more, knows he doesn’t have to.

“What? No!” Lori stood up straight all of a sudden, tossing a look of loathing at Shane. And yeah, he got that, he did. But he knew as much as she loathed him, he loathed himself more. He should have stayed longer, waited longer to make sure there was a heartbeat for Rick. Though he knew Rick would tell him he’d done the right thing, going for Lori and Carl, saving Lori and Carl. Lori didn’t see it that way and neither did Shane himself.

“Lori.” Rick said no more, turned away from her in fact, when she moved toward him. “Merle. I am truly sorry for what we did to you. Shane is right, Daryl is right. When I found out that T-Dog had dropped the key, I should have gone back for you myself. I’m sorry.” He said no more, stopping and watching Merle as he looked down his nose at Rick, sweat sliding through the sparse-looking hair on his scalp to trickle down the sides of his face.

The whole camp seemed to stop breathing again, waiting for Merle Dixon to speak. Most of them expecting him to probably throw down on Rick. Instead though, Merle turned around, hawking spittle in this throat as he did so. Spitting it on the ground as he moved to Daryl’s truck to unload his bike, Merle effectively turned his back on Rick and the rest of the camp.

Shane swore to himself. He looked at Daryl, watching him eye Merle as he worked. “Get a fuckin’ move on then, the lot of y’all. I ain’t waitin’ around for you ladies to pick out tampons and shit, we’re pushin’ it to get into the city in daylight as it is.” Merle’s words, tossed over his shoulder as he muscled his bike off the back of Daryl’s truck get the rest of the camp moving.

##########

Shane watched the rest of the convoy ahead of him as he drove to Atlanta. Glenn was sitting beside him in the seat, Dale had forced Andrea to navigate. With his feet on the dash, Glenn had his ball cap pulled down over his forehead, trying to doze as they drove. Neither he nor Shane felt like talking.

The roar of Merle’s low rider shattered their peace as he decelerated to ride beside Glenn’s side of the vehicle. He didn’t say anything, merely riding beside them. Daryl’s truck directly behind them, bed filled to bursting with shit Merle had put in it from the camp. Shane wondered if he planned to take off in Daryl’s truck with it all and whether Daryl was going to go with him.

“Fuck it all.” He said to himself as Merle accelerated now, to zigzag through the convoy, looking at what was ahead.

“You think he’s gonna take off?” Glenn asked as he watched Merle slide in front of the RV. “I kind of wish we hadn’t left Jim, but I get it you know?” He went on, shoving his cap back.

“He ain’t gonna take off Korea.” The words come through the CB radio that Shane had on his dash.

“Maybe, figure he planned on it, up to his baby brother to make sure he don’t.” Shane ignores Daryl’s eavesdropping on their conversation. He must have rigged the CB so their mike was open, making sure he and Glenn didn’t make any plans about Merle. Shane shook his head as he mused. Fucker was smart.

“Daryl, you can hear us?” Glenn said, answering Daryl even though Shane had deliberately ignored him.

“Think I’m gonna let the two of you talk ‘bout my brother behind my back?”

Before Glenn can answer Shane does. “Well M-Daryl, is Merle plannin’ take off in your truck with all that shit he’s got in the bed an’ leave us?” Shane asked him point blank.

There is no answer for some time. Shane looks in his rearview mirror to see Daryl watching him all squint-eyed. And then, on the outskirts of Atlanta, Daryl speaks. “Not if I take the distributor cap off it he ain’t.” And that told Shane everything he needed to know. Daryl wanted to stay, therefore he’d do his best to make sure Merle did too.

“Be right grateful.” Shane answers back simply.

“Oh man, be still my beating heart.” Glenn opined. Shane chuckled even as cursing came foully through the CB. Quick as a snake he reached his hand out, grasping the bill of Glenn’s cap and then smacking him on the head with it before he tossed it in Glenn’s lap.

“You wait boy, when you get your eye on some filly, Daryl and me are gonna fuckin’ rip the shit outta’ you.” Shane laughs as Daryl grunts an agreement and Glenn vehemently protests this happening. “Surprised you didn’t hook up with Amy.”

The silence that befalls Glenn has Shane turning his head. There is a very noticeable red hue on Glenn’s face, despite his colouring. Shane’s eyebrows raise. “Fuck me.” He says as Glenn looks off to the side, away from Shane.

“No, thanks Shane, you’re really not my type, maybe Daryl.” Glenn’s voice is sarcastic in the extreme as Shane just stares at him. No wonder he’d been so upset earlier, telling everyone that they buried their dead, they didn’t burn them.

“Man…” Glenn interrupts him though.

“I’m fine, it was only the once and we were never going anywhere, let it be.” He says as he continues to look out the window.

“Shane.” The growled word through the CB brings Shane’s eyes up to the rearview mirror. He looks back at Daryl, watching as he looks evenly back at Shane without hesitation before he shakes his head and mouths the words _shut up_ at him. Shane nods once and puts his eyes back on the road. He sees Rick looking at him in his rearview mirror from Carol’s vehicle that he, Lori and Carl were riding in and he jerks his chin, watching Rick nod back before looking back at the road.

##########

At the CDC, Shane watched Merle have his blood drawn, he’d protested but eventually acquiesced in that respect. And he was less than happy about them having to leave their vehicles outside the fortress they were now inside. Shane wasn’t especially happy either. Something didn’t feel right.

But Jenner seemed to be distracting them with food well enough for now. The alcohol flowed freely and Merle was imbibing with the rest of them, staying silent as he watched them all make assess of themselves. Daryl telling Glenn he wanted to see how red his face could get had everyone laughing, even him.

Later on, as they find rooms for themselves, Shane steps into the shower with a sigh of pleasure. Soaping himself up twice and shampooing his hair until it’s squeaking, it’s so clean. When he’s finished, he steps out and dries off before dressing in some sweats. Lying on his bed, he finally, _finally_ lets himself relax as he hasn’t been able to since before this whole mess started.

Dozing, he thinks of Daryl and Mac. So similar and yet so different. And how many times exactly had he nearly called Daryl Mac? So far he was managing to catch himself but Shane didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to do that. Truthfully, they were different in a lot more ways than he’d thought, their similarities being only skin deep.

Different accents, speech tones and intonations. Different hair and hair colour though the blonde in Daryl’s was slowly growing out from what he could see, dark roots taking over. Still, it wasn’t quite the same dark brownish black of Mac’s. It was a plain, dark muddy brown. And wasn’t it interesting that Daryl dyed his hair? Especially with a brother like Merle.

Even more interesting Merle didn’t call him on it, never teased him about the dark roots coming through. Not to mention the still neatly trimmed goatee. Running a hand down his chest, Shane palmed his cock, but he wasn’t in the mood. He was used to his dreams that had him coming in his sleep now. “Fuck.” He said to himself quietly.

Getting off his bed, he meandered to the door, thinking idly about looking for another bottle of alcohol. In the hallway, Shane frowns when he thinks of the library, maybe a book, something light he could carry with him when they eventually left. Just because it took him ages, didn’t mean he didn’t actually read. He caught a lot of flak for it actually because he was a slow reader. Rick was the only one who’d ever picked up on the reason Shane had trouble reading and getting his paperwork at the Sheriff’s office done on time. Not to mention when they’d been in school. Fuck, “Lay off the sauce, gettin’ maudlin.” Shane muttered to himself. Becoming introspective meant he’d reached his limit with alcohol.

At the door to the library, he stops when he hears murmured voices, the door is pushed to, but not closed and Shane steps up to it.

Just in time to see Merle Dixon kissing down Lori’s neck as she pushes at him ineffectually. Shane freezes at first, not sure until Lori strikes out, scratching down Merle’s neck viciously. He shoves her back and she careens off a bookshelf. Then he is on her again bending her over the pool table, mouth tasting hers as she tries to push him away. She isn’t calling for help though. Merle’s hands are assaulting her. Shane can see them, pushing up the leg of her pyjama shorts.

The other wrapped so tight around her ribs, his hand is clasping her breast, nearly mauling it. He hears Lori’s gasp and sees her physical jolt and realises that Merle’s fingers have entered her.

Blood boiling, Shane steps in and closes the door behind him. “Merle!” He snaps making both of them freeze.

“Shane, thank god!” Lori’s long legs, sticking frailly out of the man’s boxer shorts that she’s wearing make short work of giving her distance from Merle now that he’s distracted.

“Hold up, both of you.” Shane says. He narrows his eyes as Lori stops, eyes widening in shock. Then he looks at Merle who is now lazing back against another bookcase. “You sit there and stay.” He orders Lori, making her blink at him before she obeys. Shane can see shock setting in. “And you,” He points at Merle who raises a hand to his mouth and sucks on two fingers with a moan of pleasure.

Lori gags and Shane realises that Merle is sucking on Lori’s juices, he’s tasting her, savouring her like he’d savoured that fucking whiskey he’d downed like water at dinner. “Juicy.” Merle says with a shit-eating grin at Shane. “Shoulda’ taken a taste when she was offerin’ it Walsh.”

Closing his eyes, Shane pushes his anger at Merle down deep. This is something he’s going to have to talk to Daryl about. Fuck it all. Digging for Mac, channeling him so he would make Merle and Lori understand he meant what he said, he ignored Merle for now and turned to Lori. “Get the fuck back to your room, and stay quiet, you breathe one word of this to Rick, to anyone and you’ll cause more trouble than you know what to do with. And I’ll make whatever the fuck he did to you tonight look like child’s play.” He thinks that threat is enough to hold her for the night, or at least he hopes it is.

Closing and locking the door behind Lori, Shane looks at it for a second. Asking Mac for help, he squares his shoulders and turns to Merle. “Never took you for a pussy Dixon.” He uses Merle’s last name as Merle has done to him. “Takin’ your revenge on Rick’s wife, instead of the man himself.” Shane tsked as he meandered forward slowly, thumbs in his belt, fingers tapping on the front of his thighs almost absently.

“Oh well now, she was just askin’ for it, sashayin’ around here barely fuckin’ dressed an’ all.” Merle says, still lazy and relaxed, eyes carefully watching Shane though as he played idly with a cue ball on the pool table now.

Making sure Merle is watching his right hand moving the balls around, Shane palms a cue ball with his left hand, holding it straight down by his side. He needed to time this carefully. “Still kinda’ a pussy move, pickin’ on a woman instead of the man who wronged you. Or did Rick take some of your anger away when he apologised flat out like that in front of the camp? I bet he did. And I bet that Lori picked it up when she tried to stop him from apologisin’.” Shane was on the same side of the pool table now and Merle wasn’t lounging back on a bookcase anymore.

He was standing up straight, arms crossed over his massive chest. “Think you’re so smart don’t you? You, the homo faggy cop? Your friend know about your fag tendencies? I bet he don’t. Maybe I should tell him huh?” Leaning forward, Merle’s eyes stared deeply into Shane’s. “I seen the way you look at my brother. He ain’t a pansyass fag. You stay the fuck away from him, you hear me boy?” Merle spoke to Shane quietly, his words dropping into Shane’s consciousness, rippling through him like pond water rippled when stones were dropped into it. Each ripple larger than the next.

Pushing down his thoughts of Daryl and by extension Mac, Shane struck, his left hand clenched around the cue ball. This punch was a work of art, his arm coming straight up from his hip without any choreographing beforehand to warn Merle. It caught him in the kidney, causing him indescribable pain as the breath left his lungs.

Hauling him up with his right hand, Shane punched him twice more with his left hand, in the same place. Making sure Merle would be pissing blood for at least a day or two and feeling his bruised kidney for longer. Stepping back, he now lounged in the room, though against the pool table.

Watching Merle slowly regain his breath and get back to his feet from where he’s sunk to his knees, Shane raised his voice and answered the knock on the door with “It’s occupied.” He ignored Dale’s voice continuing to talk. “Now that was a sucker move. But my dead _pansyass faggy boyfriend_ ,” He placed emphasis on the last three words, “Taught me that you gotta’ fight like with like.” Shane stood and moved around the table to the door.

He flinches when a cue ball comes flying across the room as he turns back to speak to Merle. Raising an eyebrow he looks at where it’s imbedded in the wall beside the door. “I ain’t stupid enough to think you missed me by accident Merle. I’ll make sure what happened in here tonight stays in here. But you fuckin’ pull your head in. You’re all Daryl has left in this world, don’t fuckin’ make him hate you. I don’t know a lot about a lot of shit, or about him. The one thing I do know though? He won’t set with whatever the fuck you tried to do in here tonight. Not at all.”

“Of course you’re gonna’ fuckin’ rat to my baby brother, of course.” Merle chuckles as he moves to the couch and flops down on it with a pained grimace having finally caught his breath.

“Yeah, I am. But I’ll keep Lori quiet. You got a chance here Merle. If you’re man enough to take it.” Shane leaves him, thankful Dale had given up so didn’t see that Merle was in the room with him. Fuck alone knows what that gossip would have to say.

He knocks on Daryl’s door, down the end at least three doors away from anyone else. Man sure liked his privacy. Hearing sounds inside though no one comes to the door, Shane knocked again, firmer this time.

“I done fuckin’ told you Mer…” Daryl trailed off, eyes squinting in the bright light of the hallway as he looked at Shane. “The fuck you want?” He questioned as he stepped back into the room, turning his back.

Looking his fill as Daryl was shirtless, Shane stepped inside and shut the door. Scars littered Daryl’s back, old ones. Bad ones. Ignoring them, Shane looked at his tattoos. They were angels. Male angels specifically which Shane found interesting. Shaking his head, he leaned back on the door, watching as Daryl paced his chosen room.

“I gotta’ ask you, are the women safe around Merle?” He thought about the question before he asked it, making sure it was a generic one.

“Why? You think he’s a rapist or some shit now?”

“No, just a question. The women ain’t comfortable around him is all.”

Huffing, Daryl flung himself onto the sofa bed he’d already pulled out. Shane’s eyes are caught by the way his cock swings and then settles. He swallows as he realises Daryl is freeballing under the sweatpants he’s wearing. “Yeah well, tell someone who cares.” Is Daryl’s answer as he looks mutinously at Shane.

Rubbing his hand over his face, Shane scratches it through his hair, deciding after all not to let Daryl know what Merle had done. If it came out later, well he’d suck that up and deal with it then. And in the morning he’d deal with Lori, make sure she knew to keep quiet. Fuck alone knows it’s shitty, but Shane hopes what Merle threatened to do might help her pull her own head in. Now Rick was back, she was also back. Back to her usual ways, makin’ like she was better than everyone. Situation normal for one Lori Grimes even though the rest of the world had gone to shit.

For now though, he was down to being only half-drunk. That meant he was at the horny stage when he hadn’t been before. And he wanted another shower. A hot one. He felt dirty again after dealing with Merle and Lori. Looking over at Daryl, lying on the bed, Shane lets his eyes travel over his body slowly, as he’s never had the opportunity to do before. Starting with his feet, curiously vulnerable in the light of the room, white and surprisingly soft from being kept inside boots all day every day, no matter what he guessed. He wondered idly if they were ticklish.

“So, you ain’t a fag then Daryl?” He watched as Daryl narrowed his eyes until Shane couldn’t even tell if they were open anymore. But the negative shake to his head answers his question. “Huh, why do you have male angels tattooed on your back then? Kinda’ a weird juxtaposition don’t you think?”

“About as weird as you usin’ a hundred dollar word like juxtaposition, don’t you think?” Daryl returns immediately, his sarcasm matching and surpassing Shane’s. And he doesn’t answer Shane’s question about his tattoos.

Laughing lightly, Shane shakes his head as he feels his cock jerk. He was growing to be such a fucking sucker for that mouth. “Maybe Daryl, maybe. But I’ll say thank you anyway.” Shane winks at him as he pushes off the door with his shoulders and turns to open it.

“The fuck for?”

Biting his lip, Shane looked back at Daryl over his shoulder, letting his gaze crawl up his body, from those delicious bare feet, over his legs, to his groin and above, all the way up to his eyes, fully open now and watching Shane in puzzlement.

“Well,” turning and leaning back on the door again, Shane eyed Daryl and let his gaze drop back to Daryl’s groin. “It’d be a stupid man who thinks a pansy fag ain’t gonna get turned on by someone freeballin’ all ‘round the room in front of ‘em. Gave me a hell of a show when you bounced your junk all over the bed for me before.” Shane gave in and grinned wide. Letting lust haze his brain, he palmed his own cock that was now semi-hard. “Made me think about takin’ you into my mouth and suckin’ you until you come down my throat.” He speaks conversationally as he strokes himself now.

“I’d make you come so good boy, so fuckin’ good. Like you’d never come before.” Pushing a hand into his sweats now, Shane strokes his cock, his other hand pushing in to cup his balls. “You interested in a blow job Daryl? You man enough to take one from someone who has another dick? Might never get another one considerin’ the way the world is now you know.” Shane stops as he sees Daryl’s eyes narrow again as they watch him.

Looking down again, Shane saw nothing happening with Daryl’s cock. No movement at all. Not one iota of movement, no interest at all. Damn. Guess the guy really was straight.

“Okay then boy, I’ll leave you be. Sweet dreams.” Shane pulled his hands out of his own pants and opened the door behind him, closing it on Daryl’s staring, unblinking gaze.

In his own room, he steps back into the shower, scrubbing off Merle and Lori’s interaction. When lying flat on his own pulled out sofa bed, he pauses, thinking back over his last moments with Daryl as he drifts off to sleep.

##########

Jagged breaths are heard in the room though it is still and silent otherwise. Daryl stares at the door Shane had closed behind him though he doesn’t see the door. His hand smacks out and knocks the lamp off the table beside him, breaking the bulb and plunging the room into darkness. His form skittles quickly, like a bug off the mattress and he shoves himself behind the sofa bed into the small space between the back of it and the wall.

Curling up in a ball, he closes his eyes to the darkness in a futile attempt to shut out his memories. _“Fucking useless little cocksucker! Don’t know why I didn’t drown you at birth boy, knew you weren’t no good!”_ The words yelled in a drawling, growling bear of a voice, thunder through Daryl’s memories, making him huddle in fear again though the voice is long dead.

He gives no thought to Shane’s teasing flirtatiousness tonight, doesn’t remember his own fleeting curiousity felt at the quarry. His somewhat relaxed nature around Shane when he hadn’t flinched or commented on Daryl’s scars. His every breath is taken up with the thought that he has to keep on breathing and not let it get out of control or he’ll get in trouble.

Shaking his head fuzzily, Daryl speaks to himself. “No, no trouble. You’ve been gone a long time, s’all me and Mer now, not you fucker.” Slowly, he calm’s himself down, bringing himself back from the precipice of panic. That one word Shane had used had sent him years back in time. One simple word.

His father’s voice drifts away slowly as Daryl manages to regain his sanity, pulling it back in toward him as if he were reeling in a fish. A big fish that had made him fight for hours before it gave up and allowed itself to be reeled in.

One muscle at a time, he forces himself to relax, uncramping his fingers and toes from where they’d curled in on each other, as if making himself smaller physically made him a smaller target in life when he’d been younger. Snorting, he manages to get to his knees. “Didn’t work then and I don’t fuckin’ need it to work now. Just gotta stay away from that faggot.” He murmured to himself as he regained his feet. Daryl ruthlessly pushed down his conscience as it tried to talk to him about referring to Shane as a faggot. “Ain’t goin’ there.” He spoke to himself with irritation now.

Flexing his whole body, he feels his way to the bed and lowers himself down. Shoving a hand through his hair, he realises it’s slowly growing out, showing his natural dank brown roots. “Fuck it all.” He’d never home dyed it his hair in his life. Always going to a female cousin from his mama’s side of the family who’d done hair out of a trailer on her block of land adjacent to the Dixon’s. Daryl hunted for her in return, supplying venison and she did his hair, kept him current with shit. Stopped him looking so much like the fucking inbred hillbilly he knew he was.

Tugging on it, he mourned his single vanity. No way was he going to be able to keep it up anymore. Least of which was cousin Maybelle was dead anyway. Shaking his head, Daryl thought of when she’d started using him as a guinea pig for her beauty course. Merle had had a shit fit and called him all manner of names, including the ones he himself had been calling Shane. And that had only just got Daryl’s back up and made him let Maybelle keep fooling with his hair while she trained and then keep her making it one blonde shade or another for the last however many years.

When he’d started with the beard, she’d started trimming and shaping it into a goatee, Merle had washed his hands of Daryl and his girly ways. Mentally rolling his eyes at his brother’s voice in his head now, Daryl lay down and closed his eyes on a sigh.

And only now, with his panic having ebbed away like the tide leaving twice a day, Daryl is left with a different feeling. A feeling so alien he has no possibility of recognizing it at all.

* * *

 

_A/N - And now you've caught up, expect delays in the future._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N - Midweek update because I have a day off tomorrow...hope you all enjoy._

* * *

Daryl winced as he dragged the razor over his cheekbone. It was blunt and he didn't have anymore. Sighing he stepped back and looked at himself. Buttoning his sleeveless shirt, he gave a mental shrug. It was time to let his small amount of vanity go. If he could find deodorant and soap, shampoo sometimes he'd consider it a win.

Out in the hall he comes across Merle as he heads toward the kitchen. "Mornin'." He says as Merle jerks his head in greeting. "What'd you do to your neck?" Daryl frowns as he looks at the scratches on Merle's neck.

Merle stopped to look at him with a frown. Shaking his head he shrugged. "Must've been sleep fightin' or somethin'." He answers as they make their way toward where they can hear subdued conversation.

Eyes narrowing at his brother as he lengthened his stride and walked ahead of him, Daryl bit his lip as he remembered Shane's question last night. Asking if Merle was safe to be around women. He was going to have to speak to him about that. Which meant he wasn't going to be able to stay away from him like he'd decided to do. Fuck it all.

Sitting down to breakfast, Daryl's world goes to shit even more.

Looking at his brother as they stand in the massive computer room with the artificial female voice talking, their horror, but more, their anger is mirrored in each other's eyes. For some reason, Daryl cuts his eyes to Shane. Anger is obliterating his features as well. And humiliation because he'd not wanted to come here in the first place but hadn't been able to sway Rick away from trying.

Ignoring everyone, Daryl picks up the axe and tries to get the door open. He ignores Rick's pleas to the doctor, Shane's violent turn and everyone else's screams and denials. He won't give up. He can't give up, it's not in his nature, not in any Dixon's nature.

He looks back, stopping to watch as Merle very nearly takes the doctor's head off after Shane. Yet it's Shane who flies up from the floor and holds him back. They talk, his hand wrapped on the back of Merle's neck, forcing him to listen. Whatever he says works. For now. Merle steps back and turns, pushing past Dale, he grabs Carol and Sophia and has them at the door before Daryl blinks.

He watches as Merle picks up the other axe and they start in on the door again. Daryl puts everything out of his mind until another arm stops his downward swing suddenly. Before he can say anything, the door opens. "Rick could sell fuckin' ice to the Eskimos." Shane said with a shaking laugh as he pushed Daryl through, keeping the axe. They run for their rooms, Glenn barreling past them on the way.

Pausing, Daryl looks at Merle. "That glass on the ground floor, bet it's special." He says and Merle nods. They turn, leaving their belongings and run for the stairs. They're working on the glass uselessly when everyone else runs in. It's Carol who surprises them by handing Rick a grenade he'd apparently had in his uniform pocket when he'd first arrived at camp.

Daryl finds himself huddled with Shane, his crossbow digging into his ribs from where Shane had pushed it into his arms. When the glass goes, the sound is loud and of course it wakes up the walkers that had been wandering around aimlessly in the parking lot and entryway to the building. Shoving his crossbow over his shoulder, Daryl steps outside holding both axes now, he beheads a walker with one swipe making for his truck. As he gets to it and opens the door, Glenn runs over, pushing him inside and climbing in after Daryl, leaving the crush of people at the door of the RV.

They shut the door and Daryl sees Dale dragging Andrea with him just before the building implodes, sucking everything down into the mess of molten lava that the explosion created.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Glenn said some minutes later as he sat up and looked at the building they'd just left behind. There was nothing there other than a crater in the ground. The oxygen is just returning to the air when they open the truck and exit. A grey, cloudy pall of smoke hangs over the space as they stare.

Shane exits his jeep and Merle opens the RV door, stepping straight down onto the ground and heading to his bike. In a silent fugue state they all get back in their vehicles and drive away, traveling the wrong way on the freeway to get the fuck out of town all over again.

Watching the exit freeway as he drives, Daryl absentmindedly chews on his lip. He thinks of what Merle has shoved into the bed of his truck and finds himself grateful. "Guess we're heading to Fort Benning then." Glenn's words rouse him from his musings.

"Yup." He grunts an answer, allowing silence to shroud the cab again along with the odd question of how Glenn had ended up travelling with him. But then, his mind begins to work like a dervish, sifting through things and people, pairing, discarding, planning, figuring things out. Working out how to keep everyone alive and fed.

"I don't… I just…" Glenn tries twice before he trails off. Expecting him to find words and continue, Daryl eventually looks at him when he doesn't.

Rolling his eyes, he opens his mouth and speaks, attempting to do something he's never done for anyone in his life other than his cousin Maybelle. He'd been too young to try and make his Mama feel better about things before she'd up and died. "Day at a time Korea, an hour at a time if you need, even a minute." He says, before turning to look out the window again. "An' it's okay to freak the shit out and yell every now and then."

Daryl would deny to his dying day that he grinned out the window at Glenn's snort of semi-hysterical laughter.

##########

Later that evening at the small shopping complex they'd camped out at for the night, Daryl is drifting around it, keeping a general eye on things while he watches Merle and the females in the camp. It doesn't take him long to realise where his scratches came from and he closes his eyes for a second. He should have fucking figured. It made total sense.

On official watch in the dead of night, he waits for Shane to seek him out, not questioning himself as to why he knew Shane would actually do that. He knew Shane hadn't yet realised he'd called him Mac when they'd been trying to break out the glass back at the CDC. But Daryl did. And he knew Merle and Glenn had heard Shane too. Along with Rick.

When Shane steps out of the back of his jeep, Daryl grunts to himself. "'Bout damn time." He says as Shane walks across to where he is leaning up against the wall of the complex so he has a good view of the road going past.

"Did we make plans?" Shane scratched his mop of hair as he mimicked Daryl's pose. "I don't recall us makin' a date Daryl." He said as he let his head fall back onto the brick, eyes closing as his shoulders relax, probably for the first time all day.

"Fuck off." Is all Daryl can think to reply as he ignores the body heat radiating from Shane as it blankets the side of his body.

"Oh I did offer an approximation of that last night now didn't I boy?"

Jerking upright from his slouched position, Daryl fought off the instinctive panic even as his hand flashed out.

##########

Shane froze as Daryl's damn fucking huge knife rested lightly on his Adam's apple. Cold sweat drenched his body as he realised he wasn't looking into Daryl's eyes. They were…he didn't fucking know what they were but they weren't the eyes he'd grown used to seeing and recognizing as Daryl's.

They didn't even look like Mac's. Breathing shallowly so he didn't cut himself, Shane looked at Daryl as he held the knife against his skin. He closed his eyes in mortification as his cock began to harden in his cargos. Daryl was standing close enough that as his cock hardened, Shane could feel it brush against his hip.

An unseen flush crawled over his face. His and Mac's sex life was no one's business but their own. Now, he was letting that secret out by getting hard because Mac's doppelganger was holding him at knifepoint.

"Fuckin' sick fuck." Daryl hissed as he moved his hip back so it wasn't touching Shane's hard cock. Mortification complete, Shane involuntarily whined and pushed his hips out, following Daryl's hip as he pulled back.

"Mac!" He groaned as he felt the knife break his skin. The smell of blood combined with Mac's hot body slamming back into him along with a filthy curse pushed Shane over the edge before he knew where he was and he came as his hand flashed down to grab his cock in an iron grip.

The knife disappears and a hand clamps over his mouth, muffling his next moaning whine of pained pleasure as he pushes his hips out further, seeking something that isn't there, hasn't been there for years. Something he thought he'd lost forever only to find a glimpse of it in this man, this shell of Mac standing in front of him now.

Nearly strangling himself in desperation, Shane shoots helplessly into his cargos, feeling his flush deepen. His face feels like it's on fire and he's grateful for the deep night in that it covers what he's sure are his fire engine red cheeks.

Opening his mouth, Shane licks and sucks at Daryl's dirty hand, letting his need control him as he jerks, his cock throbbing under his grip as he holds himself tightly. Sweat, blood, dirt, grease. And as his tongue laves at the callused skin, underneath it all he tastes Daryl.

Daryl.

Not Mac.

That realisation makes his heart break all over again. It _wasn't_ Mac's insane eyes gleefully looking at him now as he pounded into him or stroked his knife over Shane's body, threatening to disembowel him as they both balanced on the precipice of sanity as they always did when they fucked.

It was Daryl. Daryl Dixon. Southern inbred hillbilly. Not the one hundred and ten percent insane Mex half-breed called Mac that had stolen Shane's heart and then had the temerity to get himself killed by his own even more insane family's circumstances.

Shane freezes. His orgasm receding as his semen begins to dry in his pubic hair, turning his groin into an itching, sticky mess. His mouth closes under Daryl's palm and he pulls his hips back even as his shoulders slump. Dropping his head he winces as Daryl's palm pushes on his jaw. Just once, in warning, then shoves his head into the wall before he pulls himself back in full, stepping away from Shane altogether.

"Gonna' make a circuit." Daryl says quietly without looking at Shane. "Get yourself together by the time I'm back."

Nodding mutely to Daryl's back, Shane walks back to his jeep. Standing there, out in the open where anyone who gets out of their vehicles can see him, he takes off his boots and then strips off his cargos and briefs. Replacing them with already dirty, though not come-strained ones, he then pulls his cargos back on, followed by his boots.

From the dash, he grabs a bottle of water, swishing a mouthful around to rinse the taste of self-disgust from his mouth, he walks back to where Daryl had been before. Sinking down on the ground, he rests his back against the rough brick wall and waits for Daryl's judgment to weigh him down even further.

##########

Wiping off his knife, Daryl sheaths it as he walks. Shaking his head, he steps away for a second and opens his own pants. Taking his flaccid cock in hand, he aims as he relieves himself. He'd made Shane come. His brain felt like it had the one and only time Merle had managed to get him to take drugs.

Fractured. Like looking into a cracked mirror or something. His skin felt itchy, like it was too small for his body. He was hyper aware of his surroundings, all the sounds of the night were magnified as was the slight breeze on his skin.

His nipples were erect. That realisation had his cock thickening in his hand as he shook himself off. "Ain't goin' there." He whispered emphatically to himself as he shoved his cock away and zipped up his pants. Shaking out his hands and shouldering his crossbow again, Daryl steps back toward where he'd left Shane. "Need answers is all."

His forearms holding his crossbow strap brushed across his nipples, making them even more sensitive. Well, he could ignore that. Just like he was ignoring his now tumescent cock swinging between his legs, with his tightened balls seeming to want some kind of release as well.

What the fuck ever. He needed answers more than anything else.

When he gets back, Shane is sitting down with his back against the wall literally, making Daryl smile to himself.

Sitting down beside him, he takes up Shane's water bottle and has a drink before capping it and putting it down between them. "So I really look like this Mac then?" He asked after some time had passed. He'd never asked Shane this in the conversations they'd had before, but it was something that he'd wondered ever since Shane had called him Mac and looked at him like he'd seen a ghost.

"Could be twins." Shane hitched up his hip and dug out his wallet. "Don't know why I still carry the whole thing." He said as he pulled it open and then motioned for Daryl to switch on the torch he had beside him. Taking out something, he opened it to reveal a photograph. The LED bulb exposed Mac to Daryl in sharp relief.

He was staring at the camera, a cigarette dangling from his lips as the smoke curled like ropes around his head. Standing on a red rock with nothing but blue sky and desert behind him as he flipped Shane off. Wearing blue coveralls with the arms tied off around his waist, Daryl could see his tattoo on the chest. And a gas mask around his neck.

"What's with the gas mask?" He asks as he stares at the picture. Shane was right, they could be twins. It was eerie.

"I'm trustin' you with this answer Daryl." Shane says as he takes the picture back and stares at it before showing Daryl the next one. "He cooked meth for his father, grew weed and shit as well." Saying nothing, though a lot came to mind, especially that Shane himself was, or had been a deputy.

The next picture though, it slays Daryl. Because Mac is naked. And hard. And bloody. And orgasming. He can see the dots of semen on Mac's stomach, just as he can see the blood from some shallow cuts on his arms and abdomen. There are clamps on his nipples.

And a look of sheer feral ecstasy in his eyes as he looks directly at the camera. One hand is reaching out of the shot and the other is fisted on his cock. Daryl can see, from the way the shot is done that Shane is fucking Mac in the ass as he takes the photo. Looking closely he can even see part of Shane's cock and his pubic bone, with its short curly hairs snugged up tight to Mac's asshole. The sight makes him swallow. He'd never seen men having sex in all his years. He takes the photo in again slowly.

"He let you take this?" He can't help questioning as he stares at the picture. He'd never looked at anyone like that. And no one else had ever looked at him like that. Ever. He felt like he was spying on something so intimate it made him feel dirty for just looking at it, despite the fact that the person who had taken the picture was the one showing it to him.

"Let…weren't really a word we used with each other." Shane answers back as he takes back the second picture.

And Daryl got that, remembered the protests from various women his daddy used to bring home after they'd moved out of town when mama had burned herself to death in bed. Still though, he wasn't stupid enough to think that what Shane and Mac had shared was in any way similar to his father's violent urges and the women who suffered at the end of his non-existent fuse.

The difference was Shane and Mac wanted the blood, the violence. And that he _didn't_ get. But he didn't know how to say that. "I don't smoke." Another inane comment leaves his mouth as he settles back and tries to come to terms with the face he'd finally seen. _Mac_.

"Think I finally get that you ain't him." Shane's whisper filters to Daryl through his own thoughts. "And that you ain't into me."

Frowning, Daryl thought about those words. Not fag, or gay or homosexual. But into Shane himself. And opening his mouth, he tells a secret for a secret. "Ain't into anyone. Never have been."

He looks out at the night, waiting for Shane to speak. It doesn't feel as shaming or weird as he'd thought to admit that he's never been intimate with anyone sexually. He thought that if anyone was going to get that, it was the man sitting at his side. Though he was fucked if he knew why exactly he thought that.

"No women either?" Shane asked finally as he folded the photo's back up and returned them to his wallet.

"Never done what you just did before period." Daryl strips himself some more, trusting Shane as Shane had mentioned he was trusting Daryl.

Another silence descends as Daryl waits for Shane to process what he'd said. "Can't or just… I don't know what the fuck to ask Daryl." Shane eventually speaks.

"No interest, doctor Merle dragged me to once checked everythin' out an' said it was all in the right place an' should work. Just…doesn't." Daryl answers as best he can. "He suggested I fuckin' talk to someone." Daryl snorted as did Shane.

"How'd I set you off tonight then?" Shane finally asked now.

"What you gonna give me in return?" Daryl answers his question with a question. He was fine trading secrets, but he wasn't going to just spill his guts. Even though his guts told him he could trust Shane as he could no one else.

Time passes and Daryl does another circuit of the complex before Shane speaks. "I ain't been with any man other than Mac. And the first time…well that wasn't what you'd call consensual. It's how I come by my scars. Second time weren't either and that's how he got his burns. After that…we just kind of gravitated to each other I guess."

It was more than Daryl had been expecting, much more. "Callin' me boy. It don't set right with me, my daddy always used to call me that right before he wailed the stuffin' right outta' me."

"He give you those back scars?" Shane questioned quietly now.

"Yeah. An' Merle ain't seen 'em." He doesn't know why he shares that last sentence.

"Copy that." Shane answers simply before he returns to Daryl's sexuality, or lack of it. "So you're what they call…uh…asexual?"

"I don't call it nothin'. I just ain't never been interested is all." Shane heeds Daryl's irascible tone and drops the subject. Of Daryl anyway.

"You look too much like him for me to not be a certain way with you Daryl, I even called you Mac before. When you pulled the knife…"

"I reminded you of him, just like you reminded me of my daddy." Daryl wasn't stupid. "An' you called me Mac at the CDC when you told me to get away from the window. An' Mer and Rick heard you."

"Fuck." Daryl chanced a glance at Shane, his earlier orgasm forgotten as he looked him over. He wasn't a good-looking guy to Daryl's eyes. He had a strong body, like his brother he was all leg and bruising hands and he had attitude to burn. But…Daryl still liked the look of him. He found Shane comfortable to be around as he found no one else except his brother and even then it wasn't the same sort of comfort.

"I never did tell him 'bout Mac. He ain't seen my scars, just like your brother ain't seen yours." Shane continued on as Daryl looked him over in the heated night air.

They watch as T-Dog stumbles out of his van and goes off to relieve himself. He had next watch. Daryl stood and stretched and Shane mirrored him. "Daryl, I like you. Yeah you remind me of Mac, mostly physical stuff now. I get that you ain't him up here." Shane taps an index finger against his temple. "But here," He taps his heart, "And here…" He palms his cock now, stroking it up and down before cupping it and his balls as Daryl watches mutely. "It's a whole 'nother ballgame. Gonna take me some time to think of you different in those two parts. I hope you'll find it in yourself to be patient with me…boy." Shane stepped back with a wink as Daryl gaped at him.

"You motherfucker." He said, stepping forward and up to Shane. "You fuckin' call me boy again and I'll fuckin' gut you, you sick fuckin' motherfucker." His words are a harsh whisper and carry no further than Shane's ears.

"Oh I know Daryl, I'm kinda' countin' on you usin' that knife on me again. I mean it ain't like I got a whole lotta' choice now is it?" Daryl narrowed his eyes at Shane, not looking away as T-Dog ambled back and greeted them before taking his turn at watch.

Chewing on his lip, Daryl watched Shane watch him in return. Then with a shake of his head he turned and made his way to his truck, his door slamming making the whole camp stir.

As he settled down on the bench seat, he realised his skin still felt too small for his body, stretching tightly over his bones, his nipples still standing at attention, his cock still tumescent but nowhere near hard, no other jerks or movement. Not like he'd felt Shane's do just before.

Remembering Maybelle and her forcing him to talk about it when he'd been in his early twenties, he thought about her eventual words on the subject _. "Maybe you just ain't found the right person Dar. Maybe your mind an' and body an' heart ain't gonna come together 'til you find that one person that switches on all three of 'em at once."_ Daryl remembered the smell of the peroxide as he'd sat there with a bright orange cape around his shoulders and the smelly shit in his hair as she'd spoken to him. _"Ain't such a bad thing, waitin' for the right person who flips all your switches and shit."_ She'd finished off, sounding uncharacteristically forlorn.

_"_ _Don't fuckin' care 'bout findin' someone to flip my fuckin' switches. Got too much else to do anyways."_ Daryl had returned obstinately. Maybelle had simply rolled her eyes at him and stepped outside for a cigarette as Daryl's hair bleached.

Now though, Daryl felt his heart leap in his chest. Was Shane the one who flipped all three switches? He didn't think so, but he sure flipped Daryl's mind switch. The man was barely out of his thoughts. Rolling his eyes, Daryl for once let his mind drift back to earlier tonight when Shane had come apart in front of his eyes.

It was nothing like he'd seen over the years on the occasions he'd walked in on Merle or their daddy. Turning it over in his mind, Daryl realised he was okay with what had happened. He didn't feel disgusted or angry. He wasn't uncomfortable around Shane after what he'd done. But neither did he feel any desire to participate. "Just let me be." He said now as he settled down, legs scrunched up and sticking out the window of the truck as he sighed over getting horizontal and letting his shoulders relax.

As he drifts off to sleep, Daryl realised he hadn't discussed Merle and Lori with Shane.

##########

Shane turned Daryl's revelation over in his head as he let his mind drift. _Asexual_. He'd never come across anyone like that in his life. That he knew about anyway. He guessed it was possible there were people like that out there. But now that he had someone like that front and centre, how the fuck did he deal with it?

Trying to turn on his side, Shane gave up after a few moments of struggle. He breathed in the humid air of the early morning and deliberately made his mind think about what they needed to do when the camp woke up. They needed to lighten their load, siphon fuel and look at what vehicles they were going to cull. And they needed to be practical with that.

Dale's RV would stay though Shane wasn't sure about it, but they could always dump it later if they needed to. T-Dog's van was going, he'd already said he was happy to let it go and ride with Dale. Merle had already said he was keeping his bike and Shane had backed him up though Rick had agreed immediately. It was a good scouting vehicle.

That left Carol's car, his jeep and Daryl's pickup. His jeep was best for fuel economy, but it was the smallest vehicle. Shane was already mourning losing it, he knew the others would vote to keep Carol's old jeep and Daryl's pickup truck. But there was no fuckin' way he was riding in that RV with Dale, he'd slit his own wrists inside a week.

And that brought him to what he'd seen a few blocks away from the shopping complex they were camped in. He bit his lip as he thought of the bikes he'd seen before sitting up with a sigh. No way he was going to get back to sleep. Leaving his jeep's door open, he stepped down again and stretched before opening his water bottle and taking another drink.

Looking over at Daryl's truck and seeing his feet sticking out the window made Shane smile. And like that he was back thinking of Daryl and his…what? It wasn't a problem that he had. At least not in Daryl's own mind. He hadn't even told Shane to fuck off or anything when he'd said he was predisposed to treat Daryl a certain way. Hell, a sexual way. He'd just…ignored what Shane had said.

Hearing a footstep behind him, he turns around, hand on the butt of his gun. Grinning a little, he shakes his head. "Hey man."

"Mornin'." Rick greets him as he stretches.

"Glad you're up, I want to take a look at the used car lot a few blocks back, they got dirt bikes." Shane said as he reached in and grabbed the overripe apple he'd purloined from the offerings last night.

"Let me take a leak." Rick said as he turned and went back to where T-Dog had relieved himself earlier. And that was interesting. Because there was no way he could have known about that unless he'd been awake and looking before. Which meant he'd probably seen Shane and Daryl, though Shane knew there was no way he'd heard anything. But no doubt he'd seen them all up in each other's space. Or him in Daryl's anyway.

Looked like that discussion he'd been putting off for years was now front and centre. Shaking his head, Shane forced the sickly sweet apple down along with some water and then he ambled off as Rick came back, opening a single serve of cereal that he began to eat dry as they told T-Dog where they were heading.

Leaving Rick to chew his breakfast as they walk, Shane keeps an eye out. Handing over his water as Rick crumples up the small box, he takes it back when Rick finishes swallowing and shoves it into his back pocket.

"Why'd you call Daryl Mac yesterday?" Rick's question is quiet, almost absentminded in its innocuousness.

"'Cause he reminds me of a guy I knew called Mac." Shane answers the same way. He's nowhere near as skilled at it as Rick, but he can pull off a reasonable facsimile for a short period of time. He still hasn't decided what if anything to tell Rick.

"Knew? So you don't know him no more then? I don't remember you ever mentionin' him before." They pause at the car yard and look around. Most of the vehicles have been vandalized, some in an attempt to hotwire them by the look of it.

"Utah." Shane says no more as he steps carefully around the busted windscreen glass on the ground, Rick's slightly louder footsteps from his cowboy boots following faithfully along.

"Shit, that was years ago." Shane doesn't answer as they head toward the dirt bikes. As he squats to look them over with Rick keeping watch, Rick continues. "He must've made some kind of impression for you to remember him and think Daryl looks like him then." Less absentminded now, more curious but not quite interrogative. Yet.

"Somethin' like that." Shane says now, still not giving anything away, though he's decided to let Rick know something. But damned if he isn't gonna make him work for it. Call it payback for the CDC debacle.

Pausing when Rick's hand rests on his as he has it sitting on the bike seat, Shane looks up at him. "I know you met someone in Utah Shane. And I know it didn't work out, was it Mac?"

Standing, Shane steps back and sits on the seat of the second bike. Crossing his arms even though he knows it's a defensive pose, he looks at Rick from under the bill of his cap as Rick stares evenly back from under the brim of his cowboy hat. "If it was?" He asks finally as his fingers constantly sweep over his scars, making tiny sweeps over what he can reach. It's a comforting gesture, one that grounds him to the here and now, to the discussion he's having.

"If it was what? You think I'd be bothered by it?" Rick snorted. "I might wonder why you'd never said anything before, but fuck Shane. You really think it'd bother me? We're brothers, by choice maybe, but still brothers." Rick looked hurt which hurt Shane in return. "Daryl really looks like this Mac you were with?" Rick questioned him again.

And for the second time in a matter of hours, Shane digs out his wallet and take out the photos. He doesn't show Rick the second one though, only the one taken outside Mac's cooking cave. When Rick has looked at it, Shane folds them away again.

"They could be twins." Rick says simply as he watches Shane put the pictures back in his wallet. "You know I knew somethin' was up when you got back. I remember a few months later, you really kinda' withdrew. Did you break up?"

"No, he died."

Nodding, Rick looked off into the distance and Shane knew he was remembering that he himself had nearly died. "I'm glad you didn't go after him." He says as he turns to look back at Shane, his gaze burning into his soul. Shane swallowed. "You shoulda' said somethin'." He reprimands Shane gently, reaching out a hand to clasp his shoulder in a comfort several years too late.

"Lori woulda' gone apeshit." He says simply, without anything further being mentioned. Of course Rick knew how bad he'd been back then, man _always_ knew when it came to Shane.

"Oh she will, her brother is…well was now I guess…homosexual. He asked us not to mention it, liked to keep himself to himself. But she'll surprise you there. If she don't, then I don't much care. I ain't bothered an' you're _my_ brother." Rick shrugged to show what he thought of the matter and Shane smiled to himself. That was exactly the attitude that pissed Lori off big time. His easy laconicness and his need to take care of people, all people. Not just Lori and Carl. "You shouldn't be either. Merle give you two any trouble?" Rick asks now.

"We ain't together. Daryl ain't into me-n." Shane tacked on the N sound but knows Rick has picked up on what he's saying.

"Maybe, but he watches you. A lot. And Merle has seen him doin' it as well as you watchin' him. But Shane?" Rick leans over and filches his water bottle to take another drink making Shane grin.

"Yeah man?" Shane says as he slides down to the ground to begin checking the bike over again.

"I know you ain't told me everythin' and that's fine, I'm here if you need me. But…don't mess with Daryl okay? I mean, I've seen that picture, you're right to think he's Mac, they're damn well identical. Now, I don't know him well, but I don't need to, to know he's different in how he handles himself." Rick paused to take off his hat and scratch his head before putting it back on again and continuing. "His feelin's I mean. You go all out, it's what I love about you. But Daryl ain't like us, he holds things tight inside. If you're lookin' to change his mind, maybe make sure of your own first. Make sure you've got it right in your own mind that you're hittin' on Daryl, not your Mac." Rick stands and waves as he sees Glenn and Daryl walking toward them with Carl in tow.

"Copy that." Shane murmurs as he watches Daryl and Glenn wind their way through the vehicles with Carl holding onto Glenn's hand.

Rick was right. But Shane already knew that.

* * *

_A/N – Asexual in my Australian Oxford Dictionary is as follows:_

_1\. Without sex or sexual organs_

_2\. (of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes_

_3\. Without sexuality (asexuality/asexually)_

_To be_ _ clear _ _, it is number three that Daryl has told me he is in my_ _ fictional _ _story. Urban dictionary references that some people turn asexual as a result of sexual trauma. That is not Daryl's issue in My Kind Of Crazy. Yes, his father physically and emotionally abused him if I haven't made that clear, but he has suffered no sexual abuse._

_I just felt this point might need some clarification. Trust me, when Daryl told me this I needed some clarification of my own…of the chocolate (salted caramel tim tams) kind._


	5. Chapter 5

Hearing the murmur of quiet voices, Daryl drifts to consciousness slowly. Cracking his eyes he can see dawn has just broken. He stretches his legs a little as he lies there and listens to the camp wake around him as he thinks about his conversation with Shane when he’d been on watch. And what Shane had done. What _he’d_ caused Shane to do.

Doing something he rarely did, Daryl polled his feelings. No, he didn’t feel nervous. No he didn’t feel ashamed. And no, he didn’t feel angry. He felt anticipation. Frowning, he mulled over why he felt that as the sun slowly rose as he heard Shane and Rick pass his truck.

Shane’s voice gave him his answer. He felt anticipation at seeing and speaking to Shane again. Even if Shane spoke to him in that weird manner. As if he were a girl or something. Like he’d seen Merle speak to women he’d been trying to pick up. It didn’t matter, Daryl was just looking forward to speaking to him again. “Huh.” He said to himself as he finally sat up and shoved open his truck’s door.

Landing on the ground, he winced and stretched grunting at Merle who called out to him. “Mornin’.” He answered Glenn’s greeting civilly as he brought over a packet of jerky for Daryl’s breakfast.

“Kept it in case someone decided to eat it too.” Glenn said quietly as he looked over at Carl.

“Kids got light fingers. Gonna get ‘em whacked one of these days if he lifts from the wrong person.” Daryl said as he opened the packet and shoved a couple of pieces into his mouth. “Mouth tastes like a fuckin’ grave.” He continued on as he turned around and dug out his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Laughing quietly, Glenn leaned against Daryl’s truck, watching as he chewed the jerky, then cleaned his teeth, reaching into the truck for his water bottle to rinse his mouth and his toothbrush before he packed them away again. As he turns and takes out another piece of jerky, Merle walks over. “Hey baby brother, go take a look at what the fuck our fearless leader’s is up to. Maybe check the lot for a gas bowser. They wandered off a little while ago, headed back to that car lot. I wanna’ get goin’ a-sap. This place don’t feel right.” Merle broke off as he spat on the ground and growled at Carl who was reaching out to stroke the knife sheath on his hip. “Hands _off_ shitheel, take him with you, get him outta’ my fuckin’ face.” Merle said as he jerked his chin at Carl and Glenn.

“Good idea.” Glenn concurred as he called out to T-Dog and took Carl’s hand before he could sneak after Merle. “Stay away from Merle Carl, he’ll eat you for breakfast.” Carl laughed at him.

“That’s a lie, people don’t eat people Glenn!” The childish disdain in his voice set Daryl’s teeth on edge.

“Don’t rightly know what people will do nowadays kid. Wouldn’t be the first time.” He said as he pocketed his jerky after taking another piece and settled his weapons on his body. They walked quickly, Daryl let Glenn answer Carl’s inane questions as they walked along to meet up with Shane and Rick. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the boy, he didn’t seem to be a bad kid, but he _never_ stayed where he was supposed to.

He himself had stayed put at least some of the time when he was a kid. And Carl had light fingers. Daryl had seen that with his own eyes. God help him if he took something from Merle. He’d have more of a set on the Grimes’ than he did now.

Taking a breath, Daryl lets it out as he looks toward the car lot. Both he and Glenn watch their surroundings, making sure they’re not surprised by anyone or anything. When they get to the car lot, Glenn takes Carl’s hand, holding him off from running to his father over the glass and debris covered ground.

“Mornin.” Glenn says to Shane and Rick. “You guys need a hand? Merle thought we could check and see if the yard has a gas tank we can siphon.” Glenn let go of Carl’s hand when they stopped in front of Rick and Carl moved to his father who picked him up and sat him on the first dirt bike.

“Good idea, we ain’t checked.” Shane says as he stands and looks down at his greasy hands before leaning around Daryl and grabbing the rag he had in his back pocket to wipe his hands on before shoving it in his own back pocket absentmindedly.

“Let’s see if these will kick over and then we can check. We should check all the vehicles too. Some of ‘em might have some gas.” Rick says as he turns to the bike Carl is sitting on and settles in behind him. Winding his arms around Carl, he flicks switches, takes the bikes weight and puts up the kickstand. Then, he stands and kicks the bike to life. He’s competent, telling Daryl he’s had motorbike experience before.

Shaking his head as Carl thoughtlessly whoops loudly, Daryl watches as Shane just shakes his own head and grins as he does the same. Nodding at him Daryl moves with Glenn to the back of the yard, looking to see if the place had its own underground gas tank.

They were okay and Shane knew it. Putting his mind to the task of getting them further away from Atlanta, Daryl and Glenn look for fuel.

##########

Walking forward, Shane stops beside Lori. “You and me gotta’ talk.” He says quietly, waiting for her inevitable denial. When it come’s he shakes his head. “I don’t care. I know that I did what I could for Rick on that day. You weren’t there Lori, you didn’t see how the hospital was. And I know he woulda’ done the same fuckin’ thing.” He’s sick and tired of her making him out to be the bad guy. Rick has already forgiven him and that’s all that matters to Shane.

“He wouldn’t have had to, you don’t have a family to protect!” Lori’s hissed words make Shane take a step back physically and emotionally. He stared at the woman staring venomously back at him.

Shaking his head, Shane leaned in, letting Mac rise up from inside him. Channeling his crazy as he used to call it, he lowered his voice. “I got plenty of family Lori, it includes your husband. You say _anythin’_ about Merle and the shit he tried to pull to _anyfuckinoneelse_ and I’ll fuckin’ end you. You think I don’t know about you an’ your fuckin’ boss? What the fuck you did when Rick was on shift? In his own fuckin’ bed? _Before Carl was born?_ ” Shane whispered that last sentence leaning over Lori, whispering it in her ear as if he were her lover, not her enemy. He pulled back and spat on the ground between their feet, hitched up his pants and looked back into her shocked eyes. “Put that in your fuckin’ pipe and smoke it. Keep your trap shut. We need the Dixon’s. Both of ‘em.”

He’s several steps away before Lori speaks again. “He scared me.”

“Bullshit, you ain’t afraid of anythin’, got bigger balls than Rick even. I ain’t stupid no matter what you think. Neither Dixon is someone you can control an’ that sticks in your craw. But he’ll stay outta’ your way don’t you worry. We all will” Shane didn’t look at her as he spoke, merely hitched his pants up again and walked off, leaving Lori to stare after him with a frown on her face.

“Fuck I miss you Mac.” He whispered to himself as he stood at the edge of the camp they’d set up in an abandoned gas station. He leaned against the glass window of the store, ignoring the sounds from inside as Carol and the kids scavenged. He’d included himself in with the Dixon’s when he’d said we and that shocked him for a moment.

A small voice intrudes on his inner despair. “Mister Shane? Me and Carl found some cans under a shelf, but we can’t reach them, can you help?”

Looking down into the finely boned face of Sophia, Shane shook himself mentally. Taking off his cap and putting in on backward, he rubbed his hands together with a maniacal smile at the girl making her blink. “Sure thing Miss Sophie, let’s do this.” He stepped inside the broken door of the shop and let himself live in the moment for a while.

That night, he found himself with a small cozy bundle at his side while he ate dinner, Sophia’s mother sitting silently on her other side, not realising that Sophie had deliberately sat next to him. It was Shane’s turn to blink down at her as she leaned her head on his arm without saying anything as she dozed in front of the small fire they’d set in a drum.

Looking across the wavering air to the other side of the fire, Shane caught Daryl’s eyes and held them. They hadn’t really had a chance to talk since that night. But Daryl had been civil to him, not friendly because he wasn’t really friendly with anyone, but he’d been more civil to Shane and Glenn than anyone else other than his brother.

Glenn plopped down on Shane’s other side. “I’ve got the first AM watch, I hate that watch, feels creepy.”

“Well son, you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do.” Shane murmured with a grin as he found his arm being used as a pillow. He looked down at the sleeping girl and then at her mother who had stood and was gathering their plates. She paused as she saw her daughter’s state. “She’s fine here, I wasn’t plannin’ on movin’ for a bit anyway.” Carol nodded and took his plate in thanks.

“Aww, Deputy Walsh’s gone and won a heart. Too bad she don’t realise she ain’t got the right equipment.” Merle’s drawl wasn’t welcome, it landed among the small group gathered around the fire like a grenade. People gaped at him as did his own brother.

“No, she don’t.” Is all he says in return though as his gaze catches and holds Daryl’s again.

“Mer.” Daryl growled warningly.

“Oh now baby brother, you don’t think I ain’t seen the way the big bad deputy looks at your ass? All I’m sayin’ is that you ain’t his type and he needs to stop eye-fuckin’ you is all.”

“That’s not all you’re saying and we know it.” Glenn said as he shook his head in disgust. “May as well call me a fucking faggot too.” He muttered now.

“From the eyeful I got of your yellow ass at the quarry I know you ain’t a fairy boy.” Merle said now, these words startling everyone around the fire to shocked silence instead of the angry mutters that had started when Merle had first spoken.

“Mer, Jesus!” Daryl shot to his feet and quicker than Shane could blink he’d stepped over to Merle and swung a fist direct to his kidney, a sucker punch just like Shane had done back at the CDC. It made Shane snort in laughter as he knew that his punch had only probably just started to stop hurting.

“You…” Merle wheezed before he turned a murderous gaze on his younger brother.

“Shut the fuck up less you got somethin’ useful to say.” Daryl said standing straight and tall with his fists clenched.

“What eyeful?” T-Dog suddenly queries out of the blue.

“Huh?” Shane asks as he lets Sophia settle more onto his arm. He gives in and moves it back, putting it over her thin shoulders so she is snuggled in under his arm.

“What eyeful did you get of Glenn? Because I don’t remember you bathing with us or anything.” The man’s low voice cut through Daryl and Merle’s mouthing off to each other and Glenn’s avid watching of them go at it. He jerked around, his eyes widening.

“Nothing, He’s just…”

Merle interrupted him though. “I had the pleasure of him and Suicide Blondie’s sister goin’ at it in the woods. Way he was caterwaulin’ in pleasure when she milked him, it were obvious he don’t prefer his own sex.”

Glenn sank down on Shane’s other side, turning into his shoulder and taking off his cap to push it against his face and hide himself away as much as he could. Shane pursed his lips in an attempt to stop from either laughing his ass off or cursing the shit out of Merle.

“Glenn? You and Amy?” Andrea’s soft voice penetrated everyone’s sudden fake cough-covered laughter and silence reigned once more, broken by the crack and pop of the fire. Sophie slept on under Shane’s arm and Carl was curled up in Rick’s lap, head lolling in sleep as well.

“Just once. At the beginning. We weren’t anything after that Andrea. That first week when we all got drunk when the choppers came and we thought we were getting rescued.” Glenn said softly, finally raising his face. He looked across the fire at Andrea but didn’t say anything else.

Startling at the light touch on his shoulder, Shane jerked around. “I’ll take her now, thank you.” Carol whispered to him.

“I got her, easier for me to lift her from here.” Shane said in return as he looped his other arm around Sophia’s legs and stood with her in his arms. “Where?” He asked Carol who nodded to the back of the Cherokee.

“Thank you.” Carol said as he lay Sophia down and stepped back. He held out a hand for Carol to clamber in herself.

Nodding, Shane turned to leave. “Ignore Merle, he’s like my husband, shoots his mouth off to get attention.” Carol said suddenly making Shane stop and look back at her. “Who you like to have sex with is none of our business.” She raises her chin and looks him in the eye holding her breath.

Tipping his cap to her, Shane nods a thanks and heads back to the fire where Glenn is still sitting, stuck with Andrea clinging to him, asking about Amy.

Wincing, Shane hauled her up. “Bed woman, you want to do your part on watch and shit, then get some sleep.” He shoved her none too gently toward the RV ignoring Dale’s protest and her own frown. But she went. Sinking down again, Shane looked at Glenn. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just… We weren’t anything other than that night you know? It was a one night stand where we just happened to see each other the next day. Like…we lived in the same apartment complex or something you know?”

“We know Glenn. And hopefully Andrea will see that in the light of day too.” Rick murmured as he stood now with Carl in his arms and headed to bed with him.

“Shit, I hope so.” Glenn said as he stood and stretched himself before heading to his bed for the night as well.

Shane stayed at the fire along with Daryl as everyone else slowly took themselves off to bed. Letting the fire die a natural death, the two of them sit in silence. “’M sorry about Mer.” Daryl mutters after a while, eyes staying on the flickering flames.

“Ain’t got nothin’ to do with you, who he is is all.” Shane returned as he looked up to watch Daryl’s face. “You doin’ okay?” He asked instead.

“I’m always okay.” Daryl answered him as he finally looked up as well. Their eyes caught and held. And Shane saw Daryl. Not Mac, not a hazy image that made him think of Mac. But Daryl, Daryl Dixon with his dark roots, scruffy beard and sweat-stained shirt straining across his chest.

“Hey Daryl.” He says unthinkingly.

“Hey?” He is answered in a puzzled tone.

Shaking his head, Shane stood and moved around the fire to flop down beside Daryl. Letting his head fall back, He glances up. “It’s kinda’ stupid, but when I looked at you now, I saw you and didn’t think how much you looked like Mac. I just saw you and only thought of you.” Looking down, Shane wonders if Daryl is going to have a go at him for saying that.

He was still unpredictable with Shane at times though he felt like he was slowly beginning to speak Daryl. To understand how he was, what made him tick.

“And you needed to say hey?” Daryl asked him now, a slight quirk to his mouth making Shane think he was amused.

“Yeah, I did. So what?” He growled as he felt his cheeks heat. Closing his eyes, he pulls his cap down so it is covering his face, irritated with himself and his body’s unnatural reaction of blushing.

“I didn’t say anythin’.” Daryl answered him after a few seconds.

Letting silence shroud them, Shane found himself drifting, nearly falling asleep beside Daryl. He was glad Daryl didn’t feel the need to fill the air with words. That he was happy to let silence dominate. What seems like minutes later, a hand is gently shaking his shoulder, rousing him to wakefulness.

“Hey, I’m about to go on watch, figured you’d want to be sleeping in your own spot when everyone woke up.” It was Glenn murmuring to him.

Blinking, Shane sat up. Looking around, he sees Daryl’s form lying beside him, they’d slept together. Well, beside each other, but still together. Smiling a little, Shane nods his thanks to Glenn and reaches for Daryl.

The waning night air is cool around them, the humidity but a blip on the horizon as he takes in Daryl’s sleeping face. Before he thinks about it, Shane strokes down Daryl’s face, his thumb pausing at that mole. Except, Daryl had a second mole. It was smaller and higher, closer to the outer edge of his nostril. Sexier. Closing his eyes, Shane rests his thumb on that smaller mole, feeling the heat of Daryl’s skin scorch his fingertips.

Blood thrummed under his skin, racing through his veins and pooling in his cock, making it plump up with desire. “Better not be thinkin’ somethin’ stupid.” Daryl’s sleep husky voice, cracks on the last word, leaving it half-finished and hovering in the air between the two of them.

“Yeah? What would be stupid thinkin’ then Darlin’?” Shane’s brows drew together as the endearment left his lips without thought. He could see an answering frown on Daryl’s face though he surprised the fuck out of Shane by not lashing out. Possibly remembering the last time he had, Shane had orgasmed on him.

“Look like you wanna take a bite or somethin’.” Daryl says in return now, still not moving away.

“And if I did wanna take a bite outta’ you?” Shane leans down, just a little so he can nose up Daryl’s neck, inhaling his dark, musky scent as he goes before he runs his nose around the shell of his ear before he pulls back a little.

Wide blue eyes gaze at him. Pulling back a little further, Shane frowns. “I ain’t gonna force myself on you Daryl. I know you ain’t Mac. I was just flirtin’. Told you I was partial to that.”

Clearing his throat, Daryl swallows and Shane’s eyes track the movement of his Adam’s apple lazily. Man was sexy. Asexual or not, Daryl personified sex in Shane’s mind. Eyes narrowing, Shane watches Daryl bite his lip, chewing the shit out of it as he looked up at Shane, not moving though they both knew they were over-exposed and anyone could see them at any time apart from Glenn who had his back turned, studiously ignoring them.

“Flirtin’.” Daryl says the one word in a hesitant tone. “Why?” Shane’s heart aches at the question. He pulls back, deliberately dropping his half-assed plan of having Daryl draw his knife on him again. Daryl wasn’t Mac. Violence was never going to be the answer when it came to Daryl. If anything was. His mind still boggled over Daryl not having any sexual experience at all. Ever.

“Because I like you Daryl. Yeah, at first you reminded me of Mac. That was a fuckin’ shock and I don’t deny it. But here and now, I don’t see Mac, I see you, Daryl Dixon. And I still like you.” Shane doesn’t elaborate, leaving it up to Daryl whether or not he queries his statement.

“Like me? Kinda’ useless don’t you think?” Daryl pulls back a little and pushes himself up, till he’s sitting. Shane pulls back a little as well, but he leans in and down. Resting his head on Daryl’s abdomen, feeling the warm leather of his belt on his cheek. “Shane?” A little jerk of his body jolts Shane a little and he smiles to himself at the squawking sound of his name coming from Daryl’s lips.

“Hmm?” He answers as he closes his eyes and smells Daryl again. A little stronger here because he was closer to Daryl’s crotch. Darker, earthy, yet an odd sweetness in his smell too. Black cherry. Shane realised Daryl smelled like black cherries. Fat and juicy and almost overripe. The kind you bit into and let the juice burst in your mouth, crunching down until your teeth hit the pit.

A cough broke their intimacy. Daryl flinched, moving Shane and making him grunt in irritation. “Go away Rick.” He said as he inhaled Daryl’s scent again.

“Can’t. Dale’s movin’ around in the RV and I heard Sophia too.” Rick said no more as he moved to the little table that had been set up with their breakfast foods. He kept his back to Shane and Daryl.

Sighing, Shane sat up and looked at Daryl as he pushed himself to his feet, taking his crossbow with him. He stood and stretched himself and followed Daryl out of the camp to take a morning leak. Standing up beside Daryl, Shane pisses with him companionably, as if they were standing at a urinal together.

He can’t help himself from looking down in the early morning light and watching Daryl shake himself off. His flaccid cock is pale in the light, smooth pink skin and an overlarge fat mushroom head. Shane felt his hole clench and release at the thought of that fat head pushing past his sphincter. Fuck, he’d almost presented his ass in anticipation of taking that cock.

“Do you ever get hard Daryl?” He asked before his brain caught up with his words and he cursed silently at the baldness of his question. The extra deep personal nature of it. That night Daryl had shared that part of himself had been different, Shane felt that intimacy again this morning but that didn’t mean Daryl did.

He looks over and sees Daryl staring at him as he tucks himself away quickly. Looking closer, Shane can see a slight flush riding his sharp cheekbones. But Daryl surprises Shane again. “Sometimes wake up that way.” He says in a low voice.

Damning himself but speaking his next question in case Daryl shuts the conversation down, Shane continues. “You ever have a wet dream and wake up coming or anything?” He’s trying to get a feel for Daryl. A negative shake of Daryl’s head answers that question. “You ever masturbate?” A shrug answers him this time and Shane quits while he’s ahead. “I wanna’ do somethin’.” He says now as he finishes taking his own piss.

“You always do.” Daryl mutters as he kicks the ground, waiting for Shane to finish up and tuck himself away.

But Shane stops in the midst of shaking his own cock to look at Daryl. Before he can second guess himself and his actions, he reaches for Daryl, his hands cupping both his cheeks as he leans into him. Daryl opens his mouth but doesn’t get the chance to say anything as Shane’s lips press chastely on his.

Shane’s keeps eye contact with Daryl throughout the kiss, making sure Daryl’s not going to freak out on him. Before he can pull away and drop his hands, Shane feels a tentative hand on his waist, Daryl is touching him. Feather light, his hand is just resting on Shane’s waist, his palm warm through Shane’s shirt. He doesn’t grip Shane, push or pull him. But he’s touching Shane.

Of his own volition.

Body screaming to take, to mark and claim and bruise and bite, Shane shudders as he feels Daryl’s fingers clasp a little firmer. He was testing the waters, seeing how he liked touching Shane. “That’s it Darlin’ touch me.” Shane quakes as Daryl’s fingers press firmer and his other hand leaves off his crossbow strap to settle on the other side of Shane’s waist.

He doesn’t initiate anything, merely holds Shane, his touch so physically light it’s almost imagined. And yet Shane feels it in the marrow of his bones, feels it weighing him down, pressing in on him, making him man up and register Daryl Dixon as someone to be with.

“Am I scarin’ you?” He asked Daryl quietly as he stood there and felt his blood thrum in his veins. Daryl’s fingers were pressing on him with both hands now, almost like he was typing on his skin with their random pressure.

“No, was nice.” Daryl answers him just as quiet. His tongue flicks out and licks his lips, leaving them glistening in the pearly light as the sun rises above the treetops.

“Want another?” Shane holds himself still, his own hands still cupping Daryl’s face. He didn’t trust himself to touch Daryl anywhere else at the moment. Not even their bodies were touching.

A slow blink of Daryl’s eyes as he considers Shane’s question. Then his chin dips in a nod, making Shane’s hands dip with him.

And Shane heart soars.

Leaning in again, he keeps his eyes on Daryl, watching in carefully as he brushes his lips lightly over Daryl’s. His dry lips rubbing sensuously over Daryl’s spit wet ones.

Three times.

And on the fourth pass of his lips, Daryl’s own lips part in invitation.

Taking it, Shane glided his tongue softly over Daryl’s now parted lips, not pushing into Daryl’s mouth, but telling him he wanted to. Holding his control as tight as he could, Shane knew that his tongue entering Daryl’s mouth couldn’t come until Daryl’s tongue sought his out.

Daryl _needed_ to have control over this. And Shane was more than willing to let Daryl have it. He knew, in the deepest part of his psyche that if Daryl and he were going to have a chance at anything beyond friendship, then Daryl needed to work through his shit at his own pace.

And god help him, Shane wanted him enough to wait for him to do that.

Feeling a slide of one of Daryl’s hands along the front of his abdomen, Shane doesn’t register where Daryl’s hand is heading until he feels it on his cock. His hard and aching cock. A harsh breath escapes him as he pulls back and curses. “Fuck!”

But Daryl doesn’t do anything other than push his cock against his stomach, knuckles grazing his skin and making him quiver. Then he pulls Shane’s briefs up and secures him back into his cargos. All the while his blue eyes are watching Shane, observing him, his reactions.

Allowing his hands to move down Daryl’s face and neck, to his collarbone to end up holding his biceps lightly, Shane closes his eyes and catches his breath. “You nearly made me come again.” He says as he opens his eyes to see Daryl frowning at him.

“You want me to do that for you?” Daryl questions him, still frowning.

Swallowing, Shane closes his eyes as he visualizes Daryl jerking him off, his rough palm slicked with lube from fuck knew where, making everything slippery and wet. “Yeah. When you want to.” He said though as he gripped Daryl’s biceps at the thought. “But that kiss Darlin’? It was the best.”

Giving in Shane leaned in and bussed Daryl’s cheek before he let him go for now. His cock protests the treatment, but Shane pushes on it, pinching his head harshly to settle himself down. Then he gapes in shock as Daryl palms his own cock, adjusting himself. “Are you hard?” He rasps, the thought alone undoing any of the good work he’s just done on his own cock.

“Not like you, but…” Daryl frowned again as he cupped himself. “You’ve been makin’ it kinda’ stir when you pull your girly shit on me.” He says bluntly.

“Girly shit?” Shane’s tone is a combination of outraged and humoured making Daryl flash a grin at him in return. “But stirring is good. I’d like to…” He’s cut off by Sophia.

“Morning Mister Shane, Mister Daryl.” She says as she and her mother walk past them to the copse of trees a little further down to relieve themselves as well.

“Mornin’ ladies.” Shane tips his cap as Daryl merely nods.

“Best get on.” Daryl says as he hitches his crossbow on his shoulder and turns to the camp.

“Yeah.” Shane agrees. They walk back silently, matching their strides without thought. Shane doesn’t see the silent form hidden by the RV as they pass by. Doesn’t see or feel the malevolence oozing out of the person watching as they focus on his striding body, eyes narrowed in contemplation.

And they themselves are so focused on Shane that they don’t realise Daryl’s has seen them as he grins and looks over at Shane as he says something to him. Daryl’s own eyes snap as he peels off from Shane and meanders slowly toward his vehicle to prepare to get back on the road. “Mornin’.” He says to Merle as he sits up in the bed of Daryl’s truck.

“You wanna’ ride the bike today?” Merle asks him out of the blue as he stands and stretches. “My ass is fuckin’ killin’ me. I ain’t ridden all day for more than a day in years.”

“Sure.” Daryl agrees. “Be nice to scout ahead.” He says as he watches the other person come back around the side of the RV. “You’ll be with Shane though. Glenn’s turn in the RV today.” Merle grunts in response but doesn’t say anything. “Hey Mer, did you pull any serious shit with Lori?” He asks suddenly. He needs to know what leverage he’s got if any.

“What?” Merle gawks at him mid-stretch.

“At the CDC, I know somethin’ went down, Shane said somethin’ to Lori to keep her quiet. I wanna’ know what you did.”

Daryl watched Merle rub both hands over his face and scratch them through his now unruly hair, his curls were becoming more pronounced. “Fuck.” He swore viciously, words tumbling over themselves as he continued to curse in a hoarse whisper. “Shit, I felt her up some. Was maybe not listenin’ to her say no. Just wanted a taste. Your fag friend interrupted. Fucker sucker punched me.” Grinning a little at Merle’s disgruntled last sentence, Daryl is relieved. Merle continues. “I don’t know what he said to her to keep her quiet. But whatever it was, it’s worked so far.”

“Don’t mean she’s forgotten it though.” Daryl murmured. He felt Merle step up close to him and turned, looking slightly up into his older brother’s eyes as they search his own. “What?”

“That flat-nose turnin’ you into a faggot Darylena? Or were you always like that an’ lyin’ to me about not bein’ interested in any of the women I found for you?”

Temper, violent, smothering temper rose up in Daryl at Merle’s words. He choked himself off, reining himself in tightly. “What were our deal Mer? When you got back from servin? What did we promise each other? The one thing?” Each word is softer, therefore more damaging to Merle and his own anger. Daryl’s questions reduce it, till it’s but a wisp of air, drifting away on the sight breeze of the morning.

“That we’d never lie to each other.” Merle answers him quietly, still keeping eye contact though Daryl’s own eyes, brimming with repressed violence make him want to hunch his shoulders and walk away.

Taking a deep breath and holding it, Daryl nodded and let it out slowly. “Whatever the fuck might be changin’ with me is only happenin’ because of him. Ain’t no one else has ever made me so…” Trailing off Daryl shook his head, not finishing his sentence.

Merle swallowed as watched his younger brother. Before he can say anything else, Daryl speaks again. “He kissed me.”

Brain working wildly, Merle knew he had to say something, he just didn’t know what. But he did know he didn’t want to lose his brother. So he asked the first thing that came to his mind. “Yeah? He French kiss you then?” Laughing in relief at Daryl’s snort of laughter and letting himself be shoved away, Merle breathed again.

Yeah, he knew he’d need to be there for Daryl. Fuck knew how. But he would. And that joke gave him some time. After picking up a shirt to pull on, he watched Daryl as Daryl watched Lori. “She causes your flat-nose any trouble, we’ll deal with her. I always got your back baby brother.”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl wished he had some sunglasses. The day was blinding. Hot, humid and not a cloud in sight. And he was thirsty. They were running low on water and he was thinking he and Mer and Shane maybe needed to branch off and get to a river or something as he wove through the thickening cars on the highway.

Slowing down, he turns back when the RV’s horn sounds. He nods when Dale asks him to guide the vehicle through. Going slow, he sits on his brother’s bike and lets the vibrations thrum through his body. He’d always liked riding a bike. The feel of the wind direct on his body, the engine between his legs. The thought that he and he alone harnessed the power of the machine.

It would be like that with Shane he knew. Shaking his head a little, Daryl slows down some more, carefully figuring the best route for the RV. He had given up trying to get his mind away from Shane when it drifted there. And he was through trying to talk himself out of whatever the fuck they had going on.

Shane had kissed him. _Him_. It had been his first kiss. He already knew he didn’t want it to be his last. But what if that was all he was capable of? Just as Daryl purses his lips at the question, a bang sounds behind him and he hears the release of steam.

Turning the bike back, he switches it off and straddles it, waiting for the inevitable decision that they need to stop. When it comes, Daryl shoves down the kickstand and stands to stretch, shaking out his arms as Shane meanders over followed by Merle. He nods at both of them and settles his crossbow on his shoulders as he listens to Rick talk about scavenging among vehicles.

Watching Lori protest, Daryl thinks about her look at Shane a few days back. It hadn’t been a nice one. He found it hard to accept that the woman protesting against scavenging from the dead could have such a look of loathing on her face. It made him wonder what Shane had said to her.

“These newer cars get better mileage.” Shane says to him suddenly as they look through them. He’s eyeing off a pale mint green Hyundai.

“Fuckin’ sissy car.” Daryl snorts at Merle’s comment and agrees with him. It is a girly vehicle, from the colour alone.

“Yeah, just jealous you didn’t call dibs first Candyman.” Shane’s answer drifts back as Daryl picks his way forward. He looked back at Merle, making sure he wasn’t going to get physical at Shane for his insulting nickname.

“Fuck you faggot.” Rolling his eyes, Daryl ignored their bitching. They were like a couple of teenage girls these past days. He knew Merle was struggling with what they’d talked about. Hell, he was too. But he also knew that Merle’s picking on Shane was his way of testing him, making sure he was worthy in a way. And because he knew that, Daryl let them be. If he and Shane were going to do whatever the fuck they were going to do, Shane needed to learn to cope with Merle. They were a package deal. Just like Rick were Shane’s package deal.

“Unoriginal, I think I should deduct points for that response Dixon.” Shane’s rejoinder had someone else laughing, Glenn by the sound of it.

Daryl is bent over an engine when he hears the whistle. He’s aware of T-Dog at the next vehicle as they both look back. The first zombie meanders into view, stumbling along with one foot bent at a right angle as it walks on the stump now. Daryl slides under a vehicle even as T-Dog does something he’s never done before. He panics and in doing so, he tears the shit out of his arm and draws the attention of a zombie.

“Fuck me.” Daryl mutters as he slides out and shoves the zombie off, taking it out again in the process. Then he hides T-Dog in plain sight and gets himself hidden too. Lying there, watching the dead shuffle past, he lets his mind drift to Shane again. He can see his enormous feet a few cars away, hunkered down with Glenn.

Merle on the roof of a four-wheel-drive, lying dead centre and playing dead. The dead body in the driver’s seat masking his still alive smell. Shane had kissed him. And he’d touched Shane’s dick. Even now, thinking of it made his pulse beat faster. It had been…amazing.

The feel of Shane’s dry, chapped lips brushing over his own, Shane’s harsh bristled face making his lips tingle when they caught on it. Daryl found himself rubbing a finger across his own lips now, trying to recreate the feeling unsuccessfully.

Brought back to the present by a metallic sound a zombie makes when a dangling belt buckle scrapes against the car he’s hiding under, Daryl lays silently waiting for the horde to pass them all by. Eventually he rolls out from under the vehicle and helps T-Dog up, just in time to hear the ear splitting shriek of Sophia. He watches dumfounded as Rick takes off down the embankment and Lori holds Carol back. What the fuck? Back at the RV he listens to Lori explain.

“We should go, Officer Friendly will likely get himself and the little one killed.” Merle muttered as he flicked open a saddle bag on his bike and grabbed his automatic.

“Yeah.” Nodding, Daryl swung his crossbow across his shoulders and they slid down the embankment after Rick, “Get his arm looked at.” Daryl jerks his head at Shane and motions to T-Dog as he follows his brother.

Following Rick’s larger tracks, they come across him a little later as he frantically searches the river embankment. “I told her to stay here, that I’d come back for her.” He was like a tape recorder on repeat.

In two minds, Daryl didn’t know whether to have Merle go back or leave him with Rick tracking and go back to the group himself. The decision is taken out of his hands when Shane arrives. Merle goes back with him and Daryl continues on, finding and tracking Sophia until she falls into the water. “Getting’ dark, we’d best get back, I’ll pick her up in the mornin.”

He doesn’t like it, knows Merle won’t like it either, but they don’t have a choice. If he’s going to track long distance, he needs more supplies. Hoping to god that some of her father’s survival instinct had been bred into her, Daryl turns and begins the trek back to the camp.

Rick falls in beside him silently. He’d been a good companion, didn’t talk much, followed Daryl’s lead and stayed out of his way when he was tracking. “So you and Shane.” The words, slow and laconic break their silence just as they get to the edge of the trees.

Daryl shook his head and didn’t answer. The few times he’d been pulled in with Merle or his father by the police, he’d stayed silent and never said a word. Never had a word to say to be honest. But he figured he couldn’t get in trouble if he didn’t say anything. And he never had. He figured that should apply now too.

“So not you and Shane then?” He plain ignored that one and lengthened his stride. Rick keeping up with him easily. As they get to the camp Rick speaks again. “Okay Daryl, I can take a hint.” He says as he passes him and goes immediately to his wife, hugging her and trying to console his son.

“I fuckin’ doubt it.” Daryl mutters as he watches Lori. Turning to Carol, he looks at her as she looks beyond them. “We’ll pick up the trail at dawn.” He says no more, turning to his truck to find Glenn there with freshly filled water bottles from the water truck Shane had discovered. Frowning he looked at his truck, now filled with the water bottles.

Raising an eyebrow he looked at Glenn. “You’ve got the space, and more when the bottles empty anyway.” He shrugged as he looked over at Shane. “It was Shane’s idea to put them in your truck.” He said as he walked away quickly.

Shaking his head, Daryl opened a water bottle and sipped from it. “Feel like I sweat off fifty pounds.” He said as he swallowed some more before capping it off. He took the salt tablet Shane handed him and swallowed it before taking off his crossbow and setting it in the back of the truck.

“You reckon she’s gone by now?” Shane’s question was said quietly, not wanting to draw the attention to the others.

“I don’t think like that. ‘Till I know otherwise, she’s alive an’ she ain’t bit.” Daryl responds quickly, his tone brooking no argument. Unlike what Merle would do though, Shane simply nods. His next words floor Daryl.

“You say she’s alive, I believe you. But we gotta’ find her quick Daryl, she ain’t gonna’ last long.” Turning back to the group, Shane climbs atop the RV to take his turn at watch leaving Daryl staring thoughtfully after him.

##########

Daryl’s heart stopped at the sound of the gunshot. Everyone followed his lead, turning back around to stare uselessly in the direction it had come from. “Let’s get goin’.” He said after a minute. They all slowly turned around and began to trek back to their vehicles again.

“I wonder who it was?” Carol asked as she continued putting one foot in front of the other. She’d held up reasonably well so far, but Daryl knew she was hanging by a thread. The walking, the looking helped though really most of the group was useless as tits on a bull.

“None of ‘em, was a rifle.” He winced as she choked back a gasp at his words. Closing his eyes for a second himself, Daryl prayed that the rifle hadn’t been aimed at Shane or his brother. And then he tacked on a prayer to J.C. that Shane made sure Merle came back alive as well as himself.

Sometime later, just as they get themselves back together after Andrea’s close call that leaves Daryl shaking his head at people’s attitudes, the thunder of hooves comes to his attention. Two horses gallop up, Merle on one and a young brunette on another. “Merle!” Daryl grabbed for the reins of his brother’s mount as he pulled on the bit. The girl kept her baseball bat in her hand as she stepped to the ground. Looking between Lori, Andrea and Carol, she spoke.

“Lori Grimes?” Lori nodded stepping forward.

“These fuckers shot your kid, let’s go, girls pa is a doctor, he’s there now. The girl’ll go back to camp, direct everyone back to the farmhouse.” Merle’s words are brusque, snapped off as if he’s angry, which he probably is. The first thing he’d ever taught Daryl was how to respect your weapons.

“Where’s Shane?” He asked, not caring how he sounded to the other’s around him, he noticed Lori glare at Merle as she put her foot in the stirrup of the brunette’s girls horse and swing herself into the saddle.

“Hope you can ride woman, I ain’t holdin’ back for you, Doc says we gotta’ get to town for supplies for the boy.” Merle snarled at Lori as she waited for the stirrups to be adjusted to her longer legs.

“It’s my boy, I’ll keep up.” Lori answered however as she gathered the reins.

“He’s fine, we’ll be goin’ into town, get all these fuckin’ people back to camp and then to the farm in the mornin’ Daryl. I’ll keep ‘im alive.” Merle nodded and reined his horse around before kicking the heels of his steel-capped boots into its flanks and galloping off again.

Leaving them with a busty brunette with eyes that reminded him of Shane.

“I’m Maggie.” She said as she looked at him, then at the rest of the group.

“I’m Glenn…” Daryl watched her as she spoke to the people Glenn introduced her to. He nodded when his name was mentioned but his mind was with his brother and Shane.

“What the fuck happened?” He interrupted Maggie’s description of how to get to her family’s farm from the snarl on the highway to get to the meat of the matter.

“Otis…he was huntin’, the boy…the bullet…it went through the deer and into him. It’s fragmented.” Shaking her head, Maggie brushed her cheeks and started off ahead of everyone, the bloody bat from where she’d already used it, sitting on her shoulder, brain matter dropping off it as she strode along.

Shaking his head, Daryl was just thankful that she’d gotten people going in the right direction again. “She’s hot.” Glenn’s whispered words make him shake his head.

“Ain’t my type.” Comes out of his own mouth before he knows where he is. Shocked at his answer, Daryl shook his head. Shit, he was turning into a fucking girl.

“Because she hasn’t got a dick?” Glenn asked now, no condemnation in his tone.

“She ain’t Shane.” Double fuck it all to hell. Daryl scowled as he kicked a small rock out of his path, refusing to look into Glenn’s eyes.

“I don’t understand.” Glenn said as he kept pace with Daryl.

“You don’t gotta’ understand, ain’t none of your business Korea.” Daryl snapped at him, knowing full well it wouldn’t offend Glenn in the slightest.

“I know, I like puzzles. I think T-Dog has an infection from cutting his arm yesterday.” He changed the subject and Daryl gave in and looked over at Glenn. He was striding along, bobbing his head to a beat only he could hear and his dark eyes were fixed on the brunette’s – Maggie’s – wiggling ass.

“Fuck it. I don’t like no one like _that…_ ” Daryl emphasized the word that with a jerk at Maggie.

“Except Shane.” Glenn finished before Daryl could get the words out.

“Yeah. And anythin’ more ain’t up for discussion.” Moving ahead, Daryl left the group in the dust so to speak, forcing them to either hurry up or get left behind. He got them wanting to help, he really did, but he was better on his own or with Merle. Maybe Shane too.

It was weird, how he was coming to factor Shane into everything. Breaking out of the tree line, Daryl stopped and let the other’s catch up and pass him as he looked back at the way they’d come. Chewing on his bottom lip, he grunted and then began to head back to the camp.

That night as he’s trying to sleep in the overheated air of the RV with body sweat and worse hanging around in the still air though, Daryl heads outside. Looking out into the evening, he finally gives in to the thought plaguing him.

The little girl, Sophia was more than likely dead. Yes, she could evade the dead fucks walking around, but he knew damn well she hadn’t been taught any survivor shit by her retard father. In the morning, he’d break the camp and take them to _his_ family. Then they’d decide what to do.

Shane was part of his family now. Even if he and Daryl never did anything else together physically, or went any further down that fucking weird street called _relationship_ , Shane was now part of his family.

And standing outside the RV, the hot humidity of the night crushing him, making it hard for him to breathe Daryl decided that yes, whatever he could have physically with Shane, he’d take. And he didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone else thought about that fact.

##########

The next morning, Daryl leads their convoy down the road to the Greene farm. It’s a good looking place. Well kept, prosperous, painted, and from what he could see, it had yet to be damaged by any of the wandering hordes that they’d started coming across once they’d left the quarry.

As he stops Merle’s bike under the trees not too close to the house or any of the out buildings, he catches a weird whiff of a smell, but before he can focus on it, the wind changes. Shaking his head he switches off the bike, shoves the kickstand down and stands up. Grabbing his crossbow, he leaves everyone else in the dust as he makes for the house.

Merle is sitting on the porch, elbows resting on his knees looking like hammered shit. And he can’t see Shane. “You okay?” He questions as he stops at the foot of the steps and looks up at his brother.

“’M fine, fuckin’ shitty night.” A burly man opens the front door and looks him over, he’s favouring his leg as he limps out, nodding to Daryl.

“Your friend has finished in the bathroom, you can go on in now.” Daryl watches Merle nod tiredly.

“Grab me some clothes baby brother while I wash this dead shit off me.” Merle orders, standing and going inside, just before the screen door slams, he turns back. “Grab some for your boyfriend too, he ain’t gonna look good in John Boy’s bib overalls.”

Snorting, Daryl glanced at the man as he lowers himself into a porch chair. “Got that right.” He muttered as he turned away. Back at his truck, he grabs a change of clothes for Merle, then with a feeling of trepidation, he opens Shane’s clothing duffle and takes out a pair of pants and a snap button denim shirt, hesitating a little more, he takes a breath and reaches further for underwear.

Briefs. Shane wore briefs. Feeling his groin twitch again as it was beginning to whenever Daryl thought of anything physical about Shane, he shook his head and took a pair of rolled socks as well.

Back at the stairs, Maggie guides him to the downstairs bathroom where Merle is. Knocking, Daryl shoves the clothes through the cracked open door into his brother’s hand and then follows Maggie’s directions to the small study where Shane is. Knocking on the door didn’t receive an answer so Daryl turned the handle and went inside. Shane was sprawled, asleep and boneless on a small sofa.

Wearing a towel.

Nothing but a towel.

And he’d shaved his head.

Looking closer, Daryl could see a freshly stitched gash on his scalp, going along the side of his head.

He looked so different. Without his curly dark brown hair framing his face Shane looked arresting. His face, with its flat, more than once broken nose front and centre, his lashes lying heavily on his cheeks as he slept. Though not peacefully, twitches and jerks interrupted his slumber, almost as if he were running or something.

The towel was hitched at the side of Shane’s waist, parted over his thigh, leaving his whole hairy leg bared for Daryl. But with his hair gone and his face front and centre now, Shane became different to Daryl.

He became someone Daryl wanted. Physically wanted to touch, run his callused fingers up over Shane’s bony ankle, rub his thumb over the old surgical scars on his bared knee, tickle them up his inner thigh until… And there his brain screeched to a halt. He was a guy, Shane was a guy. Did guys suck each other’s cocks like he’d seen countless women do to his father and Merle over the years.

Yes, he knew they kissed. Or at least Shane did. Did they jerk each other off? Did they all fuck each other? A shudder ran through Daryl as he remembered the photograph Shane had shown him. Men had intercourse via anal sex. Now all those stupid fag comments he’d heard over the years from Merle and his friends made sense. And he’d guess they sucked each other too. Otherwise where did the word cocksucker come from then?

The tingling in his goin was back, the irritating tingling and twitching. It made him want to reach into his pants and take his own cock in hand. To see if touching it would make it do something. Anything other than this maddening sensation that he’d never felt before.

Biting his lip, Daryl looked carefully at Shane. He was still asleep, though he’d settled down and was breathing deep and even now. Shuffling forward silently, Daryl put Shane’s clothes down beside him on the sofa and then he stepped back to the door. He doesn’t see Shane’s eyes open and stare at him longingly.

Daryl doesn’t leave however. At the door, he turns the key in the lock. Then he turns, moving back to Shane. How the hell is he going to do this? He has no fucking clue. He hasn’t tried to touch his dick in years other than when he’s bathing. Chewing on his lip again, he sits in the wing chair facing Shane.

Watching all the while, he unbuckles his belt. Then he stops. Maybe he’d be better doing this in his own tent tonight. Then he shakes his head. No, he had more privacy now than he’d have in a while he figured. And Shane was here. He didn’t sleep with Daryl in his tent, Merle did. And Daryl needed for Shane to be around when he tried this or it wouldn’t work. He knew that instinctively.

Popping the button on his pants, he noted they were loose, he was losing weight. Tugging down the zip he held his breath at the sound, praying that it didn’t wake Shane. And then, watching Shane, eyes roving over his body so casually displayed, Daryl pushed his hand into his clothes, under his briefs, to clasp his twitching and tingling cock.

A small gasp left him as his rough hand touched the soft but somehow plump skin of his penis. He felt movement as his cock slowly filled in his hand, moving his fingers as blood filled it. It felt strange, unfamiliar and yet still familiar at the same time.

He was surprised by how hot his skin was inside his clothing. And his nipples were tightening too, Frowning, Daryl raised his other hand, unbuttoning his shirt, he let it fall open, displaying his sparse chest hair, still more than Shane’s and his own chest tattoo.

Along with his tight, pink nipples. Letting his head fall back on the chair, Daryl brushed a thumb over his nipple, swallowing convulsively as it tightened further and a stronger tingle gathered in his groin. He wasn’t hard, not fully. But it still felt good. Because he was looking at Shane, Shane’s body, on display for Daryl to take his fill of.

A little growl left him as he realised he had no fucking clue what to do to see if anything else happened. Should he pull on his cock? Or pump it or rub it maybe? Fuck. He had no idea. Stopping his self-exploration, Daryl began to put himself back together then he froze as Shane shifted.

He moved around on the sofa, eyes still closed as he moaned a little and his hand that had been stretched out on the cushion beside him moved to his towel and opened it as he began to touch himself.

Eyes wide open in shock, Daryl watched him, his hand inside his clothing moving again as his cock hardened fully at the sight of Shane’s own as it rose up over his fist, straining. All red and flushed, Daryl could see a bead of liquid at the head of his slit. Blinking, he registered that the slit did more than let go of his piss. God, how fucking stupid he was, that he’d never realised that before.

Grasping and holding his own cock, Daryl watched as Shane began to stroke his own, slowly, as his other hand left the arm of the sofa and began to stroke his stomach idly. All the while his eyes stayed closed. When his wandering hand crept upward and stroked a flat brown nipple though. Daryl moaned.

And Shane’s eyes opened, staring straight into his own, his pupils had expanded so only the faintest rim of greenish hazel was visible in the dim light of the study. Not saying anything, Shane watched Daryl and continued to touch himself. He seemed to be trying to say something without words. Narrowing his own eyes, Daryl watched as Shane pinched his own nipple now and then jerked his chin at Daryl.

And Daryl got it.

Shane was showing him how to touch himself.

Nodding slightly to acknowledge Shane, Daryl watched his nimble fingers as he played with his own nipple. And he copied him, moaning again as sensation speared through his nipple and spread down his body to his groin. He was giddy with sensation now, his body trembling as his shoulders tightened and his forearms flexed.

“Pull your cock out.” The words are whispered soft, and completely able to be ignored. They stopped Daryl though, and made him look at Shane again, into his eyes and then wonder how he looked to Shane. That thought broke the spell that had woven around them in their mutual silence.

But another formed.

Intimacy wound around them, knowledge, desire.

Yes, Daryl acknowledged that they’d been getting intimate since that first night they’d shared the clearing back at the quarry. With Glenn yes, but the support structure for a bridge had been sunk that night. And in the time since, that intimacy had slowly grown, beam by beam. Until now, when the bridge finally spanned their hearts.

No, he wasn’t Mac. But Shane knew that now. Daryl knew he did. It was in his every word, gesture, touch. His everything.

Intimacy was pinching Daryl’s rag to wipe his own hands, Taking Daryl’s assigned breakfast to him as he finished watch without being asked, cleaning his weapons, making sure he had time to himself to hunt and shit so the group didn’t just send him insane.

Not crowding him, not protecting him, but supporting him. Just plain being around even if they never talked. And being considered. Daryl shook with the emotional realisation that Shane was taking over his heart, had taken over his heart. Shane now owned it. And that that should have scared the fuck out of him but didn’t gave him the confidence to listen to Shane. To do as he said, without question.

Daryl let go of his nipple and slid that hand down his body, meandering as Shane had done when he’d gone up his body just before. Then he reached in and pulled out his cock and balls, letting his briefs push them up as they rested across his perineum.

“I like your cock Daryl. You ain’t got any scars and shit from masturbating without lube that most of us got when we discovered what we could with our own.” These words of Shane’s make Daryl blush, he can see the redness moving down his abdomen to his cock, where it is now resting, hard, flushed and wet against his pubic hair. “Don’t hit me or nothin’ but it’s real pretty.”

“Fuck you.” Daryl responds rolling his eyes at Shane’s words making him snort in laughter.

“One day boy, maybe. That’ll be your choice.” Those words make Daryl’s cock jerk and flex, he feels his balls twitch and draw up and looks down to Shane’s cock. Seeing his do the same he relaxes a little. “So, the first time you’re hard around someone?” This question is quiet, Shane’s eyes are soft as they watch Daryl, and his own hand has paused so he’s just gripping his own cock, not moving it.

This time, when Shane called Daryl boy, he didn’t jerk and tense, this time he felt a wave of heat wash through his body. Because Shane was being intimate with him. Intimate with Daryl as he was with no one else. And that brought a question to mind. “You been with anyone else since Mac?” He felt slightly odd asking the question with his dick hard and exposed, like he was exposing himself or something. But with Shane the same, Daryl felt brave enough to ask.

Letting go of his nipple and his cock, Shane rested his hands beside him again, one on the cushion, the other on the arm of the sofa. Looking Daryl straight in the eye he shook his head before speaking. “Never been with another man, never wanted to until I saw you. Even when I realised, I mean…really realised you weren’t Mac I still wanted to be with you Daryl. But women…yeah. When I… A while after Mac was gone, I started seeing women again. Nothing serious, never wanted to get serious with any woman.”

Pursing his lips, Shane looked at Daryl, then he looked down at his cock and balls. Looking back up into Daryl’s eyes again, he moved, sliding off the sofa to kneel between Daryl’s legs, resting his warm palms on the knees of Daryl’s dirty pants. Daryl found himself chewing on his lip again as he watched Shane kneel there. They looked at each other for the longest time before Shane drew in a breath and spoke.

“I want to suck you and I want you to come for the first time in my mouth. Do you think you’d be okay with that Daryl?” He didn’t move, watching Shane’s new-looking face. He looked tired. Really tired. And like that, Daryl’s tingles were gone, his cock deflating.

Shane’s shoulders slumped as he watched. “I’m sorry Daryl, I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

Daryl shook his head in frustration. “Weren’t that. Just realised how tired you are. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He shrugged as he went to pull up his pants only to be stayed by Shane’s hands. He pushed Daryl’s away from his groin, using them to pull him to his feet, then standing himself.

Then, he pulled Daryl’s briefs up, reaching in, he adjusted Daryl’s cock and balls comfortably as if it was something he did every day. Daryl’s pants were next, zip, button and belt. Then one button at a time, he fastened Daryl’s shirt.

With a full on grin, Shane raised the hand that had just held Daryl’s cock to his mouth and inhaled. “Smell good Daryl, real good.”

“Fuck off, you know I ain’t showered in days.” Daryl was mortified as he jerked back.

“I know, still smell good to me. It’s a thing, fuckin’ sue me.” Shane stepped back as he spoke and laughed to himself as he began to dress. “Probably for the best, if I’d gotten a taste I don’t think I woulda’ let you go an’ someone woulda’ come knockin’ on the door for one of us.”

“A thing?” Daryl shook his head and let it go. “How’s Carl?” He asked instead as he watched Shane lace up his boots.

“Gonna’ make it thank fuck. If Merle hadn’t been along that fat fuck who shot Carl wouldn’t’ve lived through the night. They owe us for Otis as well as Carl now. I plan on collectin’.” Shane stood and buckled on his belt, settling his holster on his hip and taking up his cap.

“Yeah? Collectin’ what exactly?”

“I ain’t decided yet.” Shane answers simply as he heads to the door. He stops before he turns the key in the lock however. Turning back to Daryl, he leans on the door and reaches for Daryl, drawing him into the warmth of Shane’s body. “Daryl, I wanna’ sleep with you. Not to do nothin’ but sleep you know.”

“What? Tonight?” Daryl looked at Shane as he grinned at him.

“All the time doofus, all the time. How do you think Merle would cope with that?” Shane said now as Daryl leaned on him, slowly letting all his muscles relax.

“Well, I told him you kissed me that day.”

“Yeah? How’d he take it?”

“I think he was kinda’ freaked, but he teased me still, like always. Asked me if you frenched me.” Daryl snorted as Shane’s chuckle rumbled against his chest. “Let me talk to him yeah?”

“Okay, sure. Just tell me when you’re ready.”

_Now, I’m ready now_. Daryl’s inner voice yelled at Shane immediately. But he ignored it. He did need to make sure Merle wasn’t surprised by this. It felt quick, but it wasn’t. Being honest with himself, Daryl knew they had been building toward this moment since that first night when Shane had approached him and asked to see his sides to make sure he didn’t have words carved into him like he did.

“I will.” Stepping back, Daryl let his arms fall away from Shane as he did the same, reaching forward he turned the lock but didn’t open the door. Looking at Shane he suddenly leaned in and kissed him, his goatee rasping against Shane’s smoothly shaven chin. Their lips grazed and Daryl swept his tongue out and over Shane’s bottom lip before closing his teeth over it gently and drawing back, pulling on it until it slipped out of his grip with a wet plopping sound.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Shane’s words hissed out as he fisted his hands in Daryl’s hair and yanked him back in, mouth ravishing him violently. Daryl’s mouth opened under his assault. Because that’s what it was, Shane took Daryl’s mouth with everything he had, lips, teeth, tongue, even his saliva.

Daryl’s eyes fluttered closed as he gave himself up to Shane, his own tongue pulled into Shane’s mouth as Shane sucked on it and before he knew it his own arms were around Shane’s waist, fingers digging into his writhing back muscles as he gave as good as he got, teeth biting at Shane’s tongue in a challenge as old as time.

A groan answered his bite and Daryl leaned his whole body on Shane, stomach muscles clenching as he encountered Shane’s cock, a hard rod in his cargos again as he ground it unrestrainedly against Daryl.

Jerking in shock, Daryl pushed back on instinct, both surprised and not surprised to find he was grinding his own hardness against Shane’s pelvis in response. Letting his head fall back as Shane licked and sucked down the side of his neck, Daryl found his body moving in counterpoint to Shane’s, working with him somehow as his body tensed up, his muscles quivering. He was on the edge of something, what he didn’t know.

And it panicked him.

“Daryl, its okay, let go, it’s good I promise, I got you now. C’mon, let go with me. We’ll do it together.” Shane’s words rasped across all his nerve endings, both settling and revving him up, making him thrust harder, reaching for something he’d never experienced before.

“Uh…” Before Daryl would draw in another breath, his body exploded into a thousand pieces. Feeling his eyes roll in his head as they squeezed shut, pulses of pleasure shot out of his cock into his briefs, even as he continued to push against Shane’s own pulsing hardness.

Strong arms slid down his body, caging him in against Shane as he shuddered and quaked in pleasure, jerking forward even more as Shane’s fingers gripped his ass, fingers digging in, pulling on his cheeks and parting them even through his clothes and extending Daryl’s pleasure as he felt his hole suddenly flex when a long middle finger rubbed against him before returning to gripping and flexing over his cheeks.

Letting himself fall on Shane as his orgasm finished tearing through him, Daryl closed his eyes, holding on tightly as he listened to Shane’s voice humming tunelessly while his heart thundered under his ear.

After a little while, Shane stopped humming and brushed a kiss across Daryl’s cheekbone. “Good?” He asked quietly.

“’M good.” Daryl responded as he pulled back a little and reciprocated the gesture across Shane’s own cheekbone. “Like you without the hair, makes you look like a mean fucker.”

A snort of laughter leaves Shane, but before he can respond there is a knock on the door followed by, “Get the fuck out here flat-nose, got people lookin’ for you.”

Daryl growled and yanked open the door only to see his brother’s back retreating around the corner. “He’s right.” Shane said as he stepped up behind Daryl. “You should shower anyway, I’ll get Merle to grab some clothes for you too, get in there before the women get to it. Plus, I need to change my underwear again too” They both winced at the stickiness of their groins as they exited the study.

“Yeah, I guess.” Daryl said as he walked back down the hall with Shane and stepped into the now vacant bathroom. Closing the door behind him, he takes a breath and lets it out. He’d had his first orgasm. Shane, a man, had given him his first orgasm. Looking into the still fog covered mirror, Daryl studied himself.

And he realised he was okay with what had happened.

Shaking his head he begins to undress.

* * *

 

_A/N – Extra special thanks to Austin for his very honest and enlightening conversation regarding first times and emotional impact. You are the best handsome._

_P.S. Now I just need a flavour for that oil we talked about for Dane when they get down to it…_


	7. Chapter 7

Daryl saddles the mare in the Greene’s stable. His lips are pursed and his temper is raging. He is sick of the Grimes’ and their never-ending fucking sagas. And the rest of the group just letting Rick come in and control them all, walking right over Shane like he is nothing. Swinging into the saddle, he puts his heels in and takes off, cantering toward the trees without looking at anyone. Not even Shane.

He felt stupid. The thought came to him as he rode through the trees carefully. Stupid and used and just worn. Down and out and everything in between. But he was going to find Sophia or die trying.

Blanking his mind of everything, Daryl rode back to where he’d lost her trail the day before. He was sure it had been Sophia who had been staying in the old abandoned house. The size of the little bed was proof enough.

Searching through the morning, Daryl is on a small ridge, overlooking a running river that is at the edge of the search grid he’s kept in his brain from observing the map this morning. Looking down the ridge, into the river he frowns as he spots the doll.

“Fuck it all.” He whispers as he looks at it wedged between a rock and a branch. He remembers it from the quarry though he hasn’t seen much of it on the road, but he recognises it. “Didn’t even know she had the stupid thing with her.”

Dismounting, he’s settling his crossbow when all of a sudden the mare spooks. In doing so, her shoulder bumps Daryl and pushes him ass over teakettle down the face of the ridge. Feeling his crossbow discharge as he manages to bring it to his front and protect the string, he winces as it pierces his side. Then blackness descends as his head hits a rock.

##########

What feels like hours later, he is tugged awake by small hands trying to drag him from the stream and a tiny fretful voice speaking to him. “Mister Daryl, you got to wake up. Mister Daryl…” Opening his eyes, Daryl winces at the pain.

“S’phia?” He croaks only half her name, but she hears him.

“You got to get up, they’re coming.”

“Who’s comin?” He coughs as his hands automatically check his crossbow. “Thank fuck.” He says, not caring that he’s cursing in front of Sophia. “Where you been hidin’?”

“Anywhere, but I can’t lose them. I knew you or Mister Shane would find me though, I just always asked myself, what would Mister Shane and Mister Daryl do.” Sophia finished speaking with a small grunt as she managed to help Daryl to sit up. “They’re nearly here.”

Her words finally penetrated and Daryl looked around, spotting the two zombies approaching them, arms already reaching out in anticipation. Adrenalin slams through him and he forces himself to his feet. Notching an arrow, he gets one immediately, but his wounded side prevents him from being able to re-cock it before the other one is on him.

They fall back in a tangle limbs, Daryl fighting off the face by pushing his crossbow against the things upper body. A grunt of exertion escapes him but he’s thankful Sophia hasn’t screamed drawing any others that might be around too. She doesn’t stay out of the way however.

“You get off him!” She yells, and Daryl suddenly finds himself pelted by small stones as Sophia tries to distract the zombie intent on eating him. He swore as one glanced off his already throbbing head.

“You wanna’ help, get a bigger rock and smash it’s fuckin’ head in!” He exclaimed as he heaved, finally managing to get enough leverage to be on top of the stinking corpse. As he manages to brace his elbow on its throat now, his other hand is searching for a rock when there is movement to his left and a small, smelly body drops down beside him and sizable rock is thumped down onto the zombie’s face.

Sophia’s attempt wasn’t enough to kill it entirely however, she wasn’t strong enough to put enough weight into crushing it’s skull, but she slowed it enough for Daryl to jerk back, grab the rock and finish the job.

Kneeling dizzily astride the fetid thing, Daryl tried to catch his breath. Sophia remained on her knees beside him, leaning against his arm. “Just the two following you?” He managed to question eventually.

“Yes.” She answered as she suddenly began to cry, huge sobs that racked her small frame.

Without thinking, Daryl wound his arm around her and pulled her in. “Shh, it’s all good now, we gotta’ get you back to your mama and you’ll be fine.” He said as he used Sophia’s shoulders to steady his lurch to his feet. “Fuck.” He managed again as his vision swam and one Sophia became two.

“You swear a lot.”

“Right now girl, I don’t fuckin’ care. Ain’t like you’re gonna’ be copyin’ how I talk now is it?” Daryl raised an eyebrow at her even as he mentally shook his head. She was a resilient little thing.

“No. Where’s my mama?” Now that she had an adult with her, Sophia wanted her mother more than anything.

“Back at a farm we’re stayin’ at for a while, you think you can climb that ridge?” Daryl pointed and then looked down at his side. He didn’t know whether he was glad or not that the arrow was whole and still in him. Meant he could use it again at least.

“I could if you helped me, but I came down it with a rope that was tied, its back up there a little way.” Sophia pointed and Daryl frowned.

“Think the rope’d hold me?” He asked even though he knew Sophia wouldn’t be able to answer accurately.

“I think so, they just rolled down.” She pointed the toe of her sneaker at dead zombie at their feet.

“Sounds about right." Daryl left the arrow in his side for now. “Lead on then little one.” He said as he took the crossbow Sophia had just bent and picked up for him. He grabbed the arrow out of the zombie as they passed it and then followed her back upstream.

##########

Shane chopped wood and cursed that his sprained ankle was preventing him from searching for Sophia. He was deep in thought of what they could take from the farm when they finally got on the road back to Fort Benning. Glenn had told him about all the preserves in their basement.

Hopefully he could guilt the Greene’s into parting with a good whack of it. It was the least they could do in his mind. The wind shifted a little and a whiff of death hit his nose. Before he could inhale again in an attempt to pinpoint where the sporadic smell he’d been sniffing since they’d arrived was coming from, it shifted back again and the smell was gone.

A scuffing sound behind him drew his attention and he turned, axe at the ready. Merle chuckled as he sat down on another stump and held out a water bottle. “Orders for you to drink.”

Taking it, Shane braced the axe on his thigh. “Why the fuck aren’t you out searchin’?” He questioned in an irascible tone as he drank half of the bottle in one go.

“Finished my grid, came back to have lunch and try another. Got roped into bringin’ you your water.” He finishes with a shrug. “You wanna’ play house with my brother?” His question is quiet and he doesn’t look at Shane as he asks. “Daryl ain’t a woman you can boss around _deputy_.” His emphasis on the word deputy made it sound like a curse. Shane smiled as he thought that to Merle it probably was.

“Kinda’ aware that he don’t got a pussy Candy.” His smile morphed into a full blown grin as Merle’s eyes swung his way and narrowed menacingly.

“I never dealt. Used, fuck yeah. Dealt no. Closest I came was I muled sometimes.”

“Oh, so bein’ a mule is better than bein’ a dealer then? Kinda’ glad I got that distinction explained to me Merle. Thanks.” Sarcasm was thick in Shane’s tone as he finished the water and got back to work.

He knew Merle was still behind him, not leaving, but not verbally punching him back. He didn’t care about Merle, he cared about Daryl, but he knew full well that he and Daryl wouldn’t work if he couldn’t forge something with Merle.

“What the fuck you gonna’ do if or when the world goes back to the way it was before this infection shit?” Merle’s voice sounds tired, uncertain and angry all at once.

Shane paused as he wiped his face and turned around again. He rested the axe on his thigh again as he yanked open his shirt and pulled it off, tying the arms around his waist. Sitting down on his own stump, he looked at Merle.

“Ain’t gonna’ be leavin’ him in the dust if that’s what you’re thinkin’. If he don’t wanna be with a cop, I’ll stop bein’ a cop. There’s other shit I can do. Places we can go. Together is what I’m after Merle, with your brother. No women, no other men. Just Daryl.”

“Why? I mean, it ain’t like you can be with him. And I know it would fuckin’ cut him off at the knees if you went out fuckin’ around on him.”

Shane stared. “What do you mean I can’t be with him?” He asked in shock. Daryl hadn’t said anything about backing out on them. In fact he’d seemed the opposite the few times they’d managed to speak to each other since their time in the study.

“He ain’t interested in sex and shit you fucktard. I know he fuckin’ told you that.”

Rubbing his aching head and trying to stave off the near constant headache he’d had since the trip into town for medical supplies, Shane tried to grasp what the fuck Merle was talking about. But as his brain is trying to make sense of Merle’s words, Merle spoke again.

“Who. The. Fuck. Is. Mac?” Each word is a bitten off sentence and by the end he’s growling.

“None of your business, that’s who.” Shane snaps back without thinking.

“Yeah, then why you got his name carved into your side like a fuckin’ brand?”

Fuck. “It was a brand.” Shane answered Merle simply. “What we were ain’t your business. Daryl knows about him, he’s seen the scars, we’ve talked about Mac. He knows Merle and that’s all I care about. Ain’t nothin’ to do with you.”

Closing his eyes now, Shane rests his head on his hands and just breathes through his uncertainty. He knew Daryl was pissed at the Rick and Lori and their constant niggling at each other and the way it overrode the search for Sophia. He didn’t blame him. But most of the camp was so entrenched in Rick being in charge that when Shane tried to get them going they just said they would when Rick did.

It had taken nearly a knock down drag out argument last night before Rick approved search grids for today. Then he’d been told he couldn’t go because of his ankle. He was thankful that Maggie and the young one, Jimmy, had been able to go instead.

“And Daryl and I have shit to work out. I know that. Just like I know parts of him are workin’ now when they ain’t before. If he ain’t told you that, it’s his business.”

Looking up, Shane saw Merle’s face staring at him in shock. Then he closed his eyes and shook himself, jumping to his feet as he began to pace in a circle around Shane, the stumps they’d been sitting on and the wood Shane had split so far. Blinking bemusedly, Shane listened to him ranting to himself.

He could only catch periodic words, and mostly not good ones. _Fuckin’, fag, cop, cocksucker_. He also caught various curses aimed at the Dixon’s father. Eventually he stopped and dropped back down onto the stump again. Taking a deep breath, he let it out and faced Shane squarely.

“Let me get this straight, you know Daryl ain’t ever, _ever_ done nothin’ with anyone who had either a pussy or a cock. But you’ve already done somethin’ with him that’s sexual? Besides that kiss he told me about?” Merle was biting his own lip, looking both curious and nauseated at the same time.

“Yeah.” Shane says no more, very certain Merle didn’t want details.

“Son of a cocksucking whore.” Merle cursed softly. “He…participated?” He hesitated and then asked finally, looking more nauseated this time.

“Yeah.”

“Fuck!” Merle swore, though Shane couldn’t tell if it was in relief or disgust. “Did you fuckin’ make him jizz?” He gave in and looked at Shane mutinously as he asked this question.

Pursing his lips, Shane hesitated over answering Merle about that. He didn’t like talking about Daryl behind his back, but if he told Daryl that he and Merle had talked about it, then that would make it okay he figured. “I ain’t comfortable answerin’ this in place of your brother Merle, just so you know.” Merle nodded. “That part was mutual – and I ain’t sayin’ no more. Discussion over.” Shane stood and began to chop wood again.

When he turned for another piece, he saw that Merle had gone.

##########

Leaving the chopped wood sometime later for someone else to stack and cart it to their camp and the back of the Greene house, Shane limped over to his camp and took a late lunch. He tore into the sandwich appreciating the bread he used to take for granted up to a few months ago.

Sitting down beside Merle, he doesn’t speak to him and Merle doesn’t either. But they sit together comfortably. Shane watches Lori trying to give Carl school lessons and that gets his mind working. “We need to get all the women trained up in weapons and defense. Men ain’t always gonna’ be around every time they come across some dead fuck.” He mutters as he finishes his sandwich. “And the kids too.” He says, raising his voice a little so Lori and Carol hear him.

“What? No!” Lori is on her feet, striding over to him immediately.

“Oh fuck off, you know he’s right.” Merle weighed in, shocking everyone else to silence.

“They’re right, we _all_ need to know how to defend ourselves against the dead, and the living now.” Andrea said as she stood and took up the rifle Shane had been teaching her to use so she’d be out of the way up on the RV. It was a good decision in as much as she had taken to guns like a duck to water. Trouble was she thought she knew it all already when she’d barely scratched the surface.

“No, no it’s not.” Lori turned to Rick as he listened to them all talk.

Sighing, Rick threw a look at Shane that made him grin unrepentantly. If he was going to be cockblocked by the Grimes’ he was damn well going to return the favour. Besides, he and Rick had already talked about this, he’d agreed when Shane broached the subject the day before, even for the kids. They were old enough.

“I think it’s a good idea. It’s killing me knowing that if my daughter isn’t alive that it’s my fault.” Carol said quietly, stopping any vitriol Lori had been about to spew in its tracks.

“Well, I’m not sure about the children, but I agree that the adults should all know, I’d be happy to lend any expertise.” Dale said making Merle huff a laugh and Shane roll his eyes.

“No, Shane’s a qualified instructor and he teaches well. No wasted ammunition. I’ll ask Herschel where we can do it.” Rick says finally, he turns away when Lori turns to him. “Lori, I mean you for physical defense and Carl for everything. Shane’s right, we won’t always be around.”

Before Lori can answer, Andrea’s shout distracts them “Walker!” They’re up and looking in the direction she points. Her voice, high and excited drifts down. “Shit the sun, I can hit it though.” She drops onto her stomach as Rick yells up at her.

“No, if it’s just one we should keep quiet.” He takes off toward the staggering mess as Shane half hops after him, followed by all the other men.

About halfway there, he realises there is a muddy child too, then he recognises the adult and he forgets about his ankle. “Merle, not a walker, its Daryl!” He says as he puts his damaged foot down and charges forward.

“And the girl.” They pass Rick as if he’s standing still and come up on Daryl just as a rifle shot rings out. Daryl’s head jerks and flies to the side as he drops into a boneless heap on the ground, Sophia going with him, still clutching his hand as she shrieks his name.

“Glenn, get Herschel.” Merle says as he drops to his knees.

Registering vaguely that it’s the first time he’s heard Merle call Glenn by his name, Shane ignores everything else as he grabs Sophia and pulls her behind him as Merle rolls Daryl over. Blood is pouring from the wound on his head and his side is caked in mud and dried blood.

“He saved me, why did you kill him? Mister Shane, why did they kill him? He saved me!” Sophia begins to cry and Shane hauls her in, not even registering it as he places his other hand on Daryl’s neck.

“We got a pulse.” He says as he feels Daryl’s blood pulsing through his carotid artery. “Strong, I’m hopin’ she just grazed him.”

“She better have just fuckin’ grazed him or I’m gonna tear her limb from fuckin’ limb.” Merle rasps as he gathers Daryl into his arms and stands effortlessly.

Keeping his temper tightly leashed, Shane nodded an agreement. He could almost feel Mac’s psychopathy wanting to take over and murder Andrea for hurting Daryl and by extension, Shane himself. Grabbing Sophia and ignoring Rick’s offer to take her, Shane began to limp back to their camp barely managing to keep up with Merle.

“Put him in my tent, cots made up.” He says to Merle as they come to the tents.

“He’d be better in the house.” Herschel says as he comes up with his bag.

“My tent.” Shane reiterates. Merle nods and bends, taking Daryl inside his tent. Just then, Carol’s calling of Sophia catches his attention and he hands her off to her mother as they hug and cry all over each other.

Shane stands outside, ignoring everyone else too. He manages to keep his calm as he listens to Herschel talking to Merle and ordering him and the young one, Beth around as he works on Daryl. When he comes out a little while later, he nods at Shane with a frown of awareness that Shane doesn’t give a fuck about.

“The bullet wound is a graze, but he’s got a nasty bump that’s given him quite a concussion from a fall he said he took before he was shot. The arrow wound is minor thankfully. I’ll be back in the morning. He needs a good bath, but keep his dressings dry. Now, where is the little girl?”

Shane blinks and then turns to Glenn. “Would you mind bringin’ me a couple buckets of water and some rags? I’ll give him a bath.” Glenn nods and his hand squeezes Shane’s forearm briefly before he departs, Maggie following behind after tossing a look at Shane. “Everybody else fuck off.” Shane says before he bends over and goes into his tent. “Let’s get him stripped, I got Glenn bringin’ some water and rags.”

“I got some soap I’ve been keepin’ back, I’ll go get it.” Is all Merle says as he finishes unlacing Daryl’s boots and pulling them off with his socks. “Leave the rest to you. I’ll bring his stuff.” Not even wondering what he means, Shane looks at the dirty singlet Daryl still has on one shoulder.

Taking out his knife, he cuts it at the shoulder and pulls it off. Then he unbuckles Daryl’s belt and undoes his trousers and manoeuvres them down along with his briefs. His temper still simmering, Shane goes to his duffle and digs through it. He was through playing nice with these people and obeying asinine rules about weapons.

Pulling out his back-up automatic, he shoves it in his cargoes, snug in the small of his back, under his belt. He immediately feels calmer. He’ll get his regular gun with his holster back tomorrow.

When Glenn and Maggie brought the water and rags, Shane took them and began to wash Daryl down. He paid little attention to his scars, having seen them already. He tenderly washed Daryl’s body, cleaning the creases of his skin in his elbows, his knees, his toes. He even dug out his clippers and trimmed his toenails when he saw they were on the long side.

“Well, now I’ve seen everything.” Merle’s amused whisper cut through his musings as he finished Daryl’s front and turned him on his uninjured side. Ignoring him, Shane washed Daryl’s back, again taking care of his skin, the back of his neck and ears, his ankles and his ass. He heard Mere huff as he did that and still ignored him.

When he’d finished, he turned to Merle and handed off the now dirty water and took the material he was holding. A faded pair of sweatpants, ripped off around mid-thigh. Raising an eyebrow, Shane worked them up Daryl’s legs and then over his hips. He left the drawstring undone, figuring Daryl needed comfort, not a tightness around his hips or waist.

Thinking he was calm enough now, Shane left Daryl still sleeping and exited his tent for something to eat for himself. He stopped and stared at the gear stored in his annex. It was Daryl’s. Blinking, he left it where it was and continued out to the makeshift dining area.

Andrea was on him before he could even take a plate of stew. “Shane I’m so sorry, how is Daryl, can I see him?” Before he’d even thought of what he was doing, Shane moved, his violence unleashed on her for very nearly taking his second chance at true happiness away from him.

Hand on Andrea’s neck, he pushed her into a tree, leaving her gasping as he slowly tightened his hold on her, her short nails scraped uselessly along his arms and her feet dangled as he twisted to the side so his groin was safe. His automatic was out and aimed front and centre at Dale as he rushed forward. “Back. The. Fuck. Off.” He says no more as he watches Dale and knows instinctively that Merle is holding off the rest of the camp. Turning to Andrea he looks at her, tears leaking from her eyes as she struggles to breathe.

“Give me one good reason why I don’t put a bullet in your useless-ass brain right now? He leaned in, watching her carefully. “I mean, you want to die don’t you? Dale had to force you to live at the CDC. So wouldn’t I be doin’ you a favour if I put you outta’ your misery right now?” He waited, slowly tightening his hold until he wasn’t just holding Andrea, but cutting off her air.

Feeling Mac’s rage bubbling up as well, Shane realised he was channeling him again as he waited for Andrea’s capitulation. He knew it was coming.

“S…ry.” The word is gurgled around Shane’s grip on her throat.

“Sorry ain’t enough, not these days. Oh Daryl’ll forgive you. I ain’t gonna though. From now on you are dead fuckin’ last in my consideration of lives. And that’s sayin’ somethin’.” Pulling her forward, Shane looks into her watery eyes before he pushes her away, turning so he doesn’t see her stumble and fall or see Dale gather her up. “Lesson one for all of you who don’t shoot is that you _don’t fuckin’ shoo_ t, until you know what the fuck you’re aimin’ at.” Shaking his head he looked over at Rick even as he kept Dale in his peripheral vision when he stood up with Andrea. He was a sly bastard.

“I’m gettin’ my weapons in the mornin’. You ain’t stoppin’ me. It ain’t practical not to be carryin’ these days, not even here. This ain’t a utopia and it’s time you started rememberin’ that.”

##########

Daryl’s head is pounding. He lies silent and still as he wakes, vaguely aware he’s warm but that everything hurts like fuck at the same time.

His side feels like he’s been branded which oddly, makes him think of Shane’s scars.

His head feels like if he moves it’ll fall clean off his shoulders.

But then he can’t help it, as he becomes more self-aware, his stomach suddenly revolts and he lurches upright with a wash of whole body pain, hand flying to his mouth.

“S’okay, Darlin’, here you go.” A warm hand turns his face to the side even as they support him in leaning over and as Daryl forces his eyes open before daylight slams them shut again he sees a bucket there for him to vomit into. “There you go. Let it out, it’s the concussion.” Shane’s hand strokes his naked back, warm and soothing. All the while Daryl vomits nothing but bitter brown liquid that smells almost like ammonia.

When his stomach finally stops heaving, the hand braces him and helps him to lie down again. Then a cool cloth wipes over his mouth and chin before a cup is placed at his lips and his head tilted to drink some of the water down.

“Easy, don’t want to bring it back up again. Herschel said you had a fairly bad concussion, damn lucky you didn’t fracture your skill.” Shane eyes him as he sits on a camp chair beside the cot. Which is not his own now that he can open his eyes and look around somewhat.

“Too light.” Daryl says as he closes his eyes again.

“Shit, hold on.” A rustle sound followed by the darkening of the light behind his closed lids makes Daryl slit them open a crack again. Shane has dropped down the tent windows and is sitting back down beside him again. He scrubs a hand over his bristly scalp, being mindful of the red scar along the side of his head before he looks over at Daryl who is looking back. “Scared me Daryl.” He said, releasing a breath after he admits those words.

“Takes a lot to kill a Dixon.” He murmurs before he closes his eyes again. “Girl alright?”

“She’s fine, dehydrated, bit scratched up. Full of how _Mister Daryl_ saved her life.” Shane laughs a little. “We’re both Mister’s, you an’ me. I kinda like it.”

“Yeah. She’s a bright kid, said how she just thought what we’d do when I asked her how she’d gotten by. Fucked if I knew she was watchin’ us so much at the quarry and shit.” Daryl yawns and feels himself sliding back to sleep. A soft kiss on his forehead is the last thing he remembers.

##########

When he wakes again sometime later, his nausea has subsided to a mild queasiness. And his watcher is none other than Sophia. She grins at him when she sees he’s awake. Opening her mouth, she shuts it again, before shaking her head and then opening it and speaking this time. “Sorry, I have to remember to talk quiet.” She smiled before picking up the cup and helping Daryl sip some more water. “Mister Shane said I had the most important job in the camp looking after you. Carl wanted to sit as well but Mister Shane said that he wouldn’t keep quiet and Carl got upset, but Mister Shane said that I could as long as I kept quiet, so I’m going to stop talking now, is that okay?”

Letting his head muddle through her statement Daryl eventually nodded. “Some more water little one?” He asked croakily.

“Oh of course, sorry!” Sophia, put the cup to his lips again and Daryl took a little more water.

“Thank you. My lazy ass brother or Mister Shane close by?” He asked, his bladder was telling him he needed to take a leak and he was damned if he was going to let Sophia help him to the outhouse near the garden shed that they were all using.

“Oh, Mister Merle went to town with Glenn and Maggie, she’s so pretty Mister Daryl, I wanna be just like here when I’m older. But Shane is cleaning the guns. Should I go get him?” Sophia stood but waited for Daryl’s nod before she dashed out of the tent.

Looking around Daryl frowned. His gear was stacked throughout the tent, his clothes, boots, weapons, bedding, everything. He could see his crossbow, freshly cleaned and oiled sitting on a card table in the annex of…Shane’s tent. He was in Shane’s tent. He and his gear had been adroitly moved in when he’d been too out of it to even realise.

“Fuckin’ sly bastard.” He muttered as he shook his head on the pillow, wincing as it made the tent spin. He was lying on his own pillow he realised. But his camp bed hadn’t been set up. That made him frown. No way was he sleeping here without Shane beside him. “You moved me in here.” He said defiantly as Shane ducked inside.

“Uh,” Shane took off his cap and scratched his head before putting it back on. “Kinda’. I told them to put you in here yesterday. But Merle was the one who upped and moved your gear in.”

“Why would he do that?” Daryl huffed as Shane leaned down and helped him sit on the side of the bed, before he put both arms around him and simply eased him to his feet. “Fuck that hurts!” Daryl winced as his side pulled and his head throbbed, making black spots swirl in front of his eyes as he saw two Shane’s.

“Herschel said you should piss in a bottle…”

“Fuck that, ain’t no invalid.” Daryl answered. “Just need a hand is all.”

Soft laughter curls his insides as Shane moves and helps him out of the tent, beads of sweat appearing on Daryl’s face in the process. “A hand to take a leak? I’m definitely down with that.”

“Dirty-ass motherfucker.” Daryl grumped as they limped at a snail’s pace toward the outhouse.

“Well, I can be. But right now I get it’d just be a hand. But even if you just take a piss, gettin’ my hands on you in that capacity is just fine Darlin’.”

“My gear is in your tent.” Daryl said, realising he was repeating himself he went to apologise but Shane spoke.

“Yeah, I’m hopin’ you’re gonna’ be okay with that.” His words are sober, serious. Not the joking tone he’d been using to more or less bully Daryl through his trip to the outhouse. He opens the door and helps Daryl inside, pushing his sweatpants down without fuss and aiming his cock before Daryl knows where he is.

“Why, don’t you got a second bed set up then?” He asked waspishly as Shane shook him off and tucked his dick back inside his sweatpants again.

“’Cause Merle and Glenn called a truce to head into town to see if they could find a double camp bed is why. If they can’t we’ll work somethin’ out tonight. That okay?”

Nodding once, Daryl kept his head down as they traipsed back across the yard to Sh… _their_ tent again. Inside, there is a bowl of soup and a piece of bread along with a glass of sweet tea waiting for him. Shane gets him settled and busses his forehead again before leaving Daryl to it.

Sophia re-enters a few minutes later and sits quietly, reading an old, battered _Enid Blyton_ book while Daryl works his way through his food slowly, taking spells every few bites. When he’s finished she takes his dishes and returns promptly. Watching her, Daryl marvels at how she has bounced back. “Read to me?” He asks quietly, watching her eyes light up.

“Sure Mister Daryl, should I start at the beginning?”

With a nod, Daryl settles down to listen to Sophia’s soft melodic voice read to him about the _Famous Five_.

 


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N – Apologies for the delay, here is a mid-week update instead of weekend because I’m taking so long. Don’t worry, I promise I will not leave the story hanging even if chapters take a little longer than I anticipate or you’d like. Thank you to everyone for reading, reviewing, following, subscribing to my story, life is interfering so I’m slack with responses to reviews etc and I apologise for that as well. Please know I love and appreciate all your reads, and reviews. Especially those threatening me for not updating more regularly!_

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Later that night, Merle holds Daryl upright as Shane and Glenn set up the double camp bed. When it’s set up and the bedding arranged, Shane turns it back and Merle helps him to lie back down. Herschel had said at least another day of bed rest and considering Daryl was still seeing double periodically he was happy to comply.

Sophia had been great company, he was thankful she didn’t mind reading out loud to him. And she heeded Shane’s warning about not making noise, something he knew Carl wouldn’t have been able to do. Her voice was soothing, which surprised him at first. Glancing outside Shane’s tent he can see the other’s congregated around trying to watch through the opening as the tent flaps shifted in the night breeze.

“Feel’s good.” He says as he lets himself settle into the bedding.

“Look good.” Shane answers him with a half grin as he turns to Merle and Glenn. “Thanks, appreciate it. Both of you. And thank Maggie too Glenn.”

“I will, remember we’re having dinner at the house tomorrow night.” Glenn says as he ducks out, leaving the three of them in the tent.

“I’m gonna’ grab some dinner. You want me to bring somethin’ back for you? Uh,” Merle broke off and rolled his eyes, “Both of you?” He finished up as he ducked out into the annex.

“Nah, I’ll come with you and bring it back for both of us.” Shane said as he turned to Daryl, “Andrea’s outside, wants to apologise, you wanna’ do that tonight or tomorrow?”

Thinking, Daryl feels his head begin to throb at the idea of her voice tonight. “Tomorrow. Afternoon.” He clarifies and Shane nods.

“Sure, I’ll tell ‘em all no visitors until tomorrow afternoon.” Nodding, Daryl lets Shane and Merle leave as he closes his eyes.

##########

The following afternoon, Daryl is lying on the camp bed, looking at an arrow and realising he’s going to have to either find or make some more when Andrea ducks her head into his tent.

“Hey, Shane said I could come by this afternoon?” She questioned him, not sticking her head in any further. She clears her throat and Daryl realises she sounds like she’s got a cold or something.

“Not if you’re gonna make me sick, don’t need to be coughin’ shit everywhere with my stitches.” He grouses. He wasn’t sure if he liked Andrea, she seemed competent on one hand, but on the other she was always in the middle of shit with the dumbest of ideas.

“Oh no, I’m fine, Shane was just a little rough.”

Narrowing his eyes, Daryl looked her over closely as she stood in the tent doorway and looked back at him, tapping a paperback book against her thigh. Looking below her face, he can see bruises on her neck. Looking back into her eyes again, he sees an expression flash in and out of them before she steps forward, despite his not yet having told her to enter his tent.

Handing him the paperback book, Andrea speaks again. “It’s Dale’s, it’s not even a good one, but it should pass the time.” No actual ‘I’m sorry’ leaves her mouth which Daryl knows instinctively is what she’s trying to say.

“You point anythin’ at me again and you ain’t gonna’ just have a problem with Shane an’ Mer, you’ll get one with me too. And same goes for pointin’ shit at them. Understand?” He says in a low, even tone of voice as if he’s not threatening her.

“I do, Shane’s teaching us, well most of us starting tomorrow. I’ll be his star pupil. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

Turning, Andrea makes to leave. Daryl let’s her get to the annex before he speaks. “Andrea?” He waited as Andrea turned to look back at him. “Two words, first one’s two letters, second’s five. You need a hint?” He asks her, knowing full well that Shane and Merle won’t accept her getting away without saying the words. And maybe they were rubbing off on him as well because damned if he didn’t want her to actually say the words to him too.

Rolling her eyes, Andrea grinned at him and spoke. “I’m sorry.” Her grin showed she thought Daryl was joking. It takes some seconds for her to realise he isn’t returning her smile.

“You think it’s funny that you fuckin’ shot me? Maybe because I irritated you so much it was like payback? You think I never heard the way Dale spoke about me? Are you really that much of a dumb fuckin’ cunt?”

Opening her mouth to defend herself, Andrea is interrupted by a young girlish voice. “Are you using bad language again?” Sophia slips past Andrea and plops down on the chair beside Daryl and Shane’s new double bed, pulling out a book as she does so. “I got the next book, Beth is really nice, her hair is so pretty. What are you doing with that book Mister Daryl? You know Mister Herschel said you weren’t to read anything until your headache went away.”

Watching mutely, Andrea saw Daryl silently hand over the book she’d given him and Sophia beam at him as she tossed it into the corner negligently. Then she pulled her feet up under her, opened her own book and began to read to Daryl as he closed his eyes and settled down comfortably.

Approaching Carol a few hours later after she has marshalled her thoughts, Andrea expresses her concern over Sophia being around Daryl on a long-term basis. Carol shoots her down in no uncertain terms, leaving her floundering as she feels the solid ground underneath her feet turn into muddy quicksand. Nothing is the way it was. Andrea is only now beginning to realise that it never will be again.

##########

Shane bit his lip as he maneuvered through the annex of his tent, not even realising he was mimicking Daryl’s habit as he handed over his plate of food and sat down himself to eat. Neither of them were attending the dinner at the house tonight. When they’d finished, he took their plates back, not getting more than a few steps beyond his tent before Carol came up.

“I’ll take those, you take these. You need anything else before you turn in for the night?” She asked as they exchanged his and Daryl’s dinner plates for water bottles.

“Nah, we’re good. Night.”

“Night Shane, say good night to Daryl for us too.” Shane nodded and turned back to his tent. Taking a breath, he walked inside his annex and then on into the tent itself. He felt awkward and knew Daryl did too even though there was no reason to be.

“Carol and Sophie say g’night.” Shane says as he begins to disrobe. “Bet it’s interestin’ up at the house. Glad we ain’t there.”

A non-committal grunt is his answer and the light dims as Shane finally strips to his skin and walks around to the other side of the camp bed, slipping in beside Daryl carefully. He was a lot more alert today, though still in pain with his head. Rolling on his side so he was facing Daryl’s profile, Shane just stared at him.

Lying with his eyes shut, hands folded across his abdomen and breathing evenly, he was a beautiful picture. Shane wanted to sink into him and lick him all over at the same time. Reaching out a hand, he lay his palm flat on Daryl’s chest, over the tattoo there. It was an interesting line of curlicues that initially looked like a name. Closer inspection revealed them to be numbers.

Tracing them, Shane felt himself relax. “My Ma’s co-ordinates.” Daryl says eventually.

“Co-ordinates?” Shane asks him quietly as he continues to trace the inked lines.

“Of where she’s buried. Our Pa sent her home to her family, said she weren’t fit to be buried in the Dixon family plot for bein’ stupid enough to burn herself to death.” Finger’s freezing, Shane looks up to Daryl’s face to see him looking evenly back. “My family ain’t sweet smellin’ roses Shane.”

“Neither is mine, anyone who says theirs is, is fuckin’ lyin’. There’s degrees of normal Daryl.” Shane answers as he goes back to tracing the lines. “Did your Pa start layin’ into you after she was gone?” He asked now as he danced his fingers through Daryl’s sparse chest hair.

“Yeah. Merle don’t know how bad it got really. Ain’t like we bathe together and shit.” Shane snorted at the thought of Daryl and Merle bathing together as kids or even sharing a bathroom as adults.

“He gone now?” Was Shane’s next question as he ghosted his fingers over one of Daryl’s nipples, watching closely as it pebbled under his touch. “You feelin’ that anywhere else?” He asked in a husky voice.

“Yeah, he’s gone now. Should I be?” Shane doesn’t even have to look at Daryl to know his eyebrow is raised.

“Don’t rightly know, just tryin’ to figure out what might work for you and your cock Darlin’.” Looking back up into Daryl’s blue eyes, Shane winked at him. “Did your Pa go before or after the infection hit?”

“After, got the shit tore outta’ his arm so I put him outta’ his misery and went for Mer, he was servin’ some days in lock-up. Bars saved his life, not that he’ll ever say that.” A grin curved Daryl’s mouth as he confided this to Shane. “And it tingles some, feels good.” He continues, elaborating to Shane about his nipples being played with. “What about your family?”

“Parents were already gone. No brothers or sisters or other blood family. Rick was hit by a stray bullet a couple months prior to the infection. He was in hospital in a coma when it all went down. I tried to save him when the army came in and started shootin’ everyone there, alive or dead. Power went off at the same time. I thought he was dead. Daryl. I checked for a pulse, I heard nothin’ I swear to god I thought he was gone.”

Warm fingers suddenly touch his fingers where they’ve stilled on Daryl’s chest. They stroke Shane’s own softly, the calluses rasping over the back of his hand. “He’s here now, you got your family back.” Soft words, kind words. From a man who hid his soft centre behind nothing but a contrary nature. “You could maybe try bein’ a little firmer when you’re playin’ with ‘em.” His next words are whispered as he guides Shane’s fingers back to a nipple.

Swallowing, Shane continued to look at Daryl. “Firmer huh?” He brought his hand to his mouth and licked the pad of his index finger. “What about this?” He let the drop of saliva on his finger drip off and onto an erect pink nipple and then, even lighter than before, he circled it, finger barely brushing the nipple itself. A hissing sound escapes Daryl and Shane can see the blanket over his groin move a little from the corner of his eye. “More than a tingle?” He questioned as he kept his eyes locked on Daryl’s face.

Lids slitted now, so only the fainted bit of blue could be seen of his eyes as he watched Shane watch him. “Yeah.” He was honest with Shane making him smile.

“Can I kiss you Daryl?”

A frown now. “Where?”

Shane blinked. “Your mouth?” He answered in a questioning tone.

“Oh, okay. Yeah.” He opened his eyes more and tilted his head a little in invitation. It was too sexy for Shane to ignore. Putting aside his puzzlement at Daryl’s question of where, Shane lowered his mouth to the slightly parted lips waiting for his.

Soft, so damn soft. Nothing was chapped tonight, Shane’s own lips felt rough by comparison. Rubbing them over Daryl’s in a slow slide of skin, Shane gave in and let his tongue lick across them as well, taking Daryl’s hesitantly opening mouth’s invitation by delving inside.

Wet warmth surrounded his tongue, as Daryl accepted Shane’s foray into his mouth, his own tongue lying passively while Shane stroked over it. Pulling back a little, Shane brushed his lips over Daryl’s again, leaving it up to him this time as to whether they went any further with their kissing.

His patience is rewarded, when he feels Daryl’s tongue shyly steal out of his mouth and stroke over his own bottom lip, before pulling back. Shane immediately follows, gliding his tongue back into Daryl’s mouth and stroking the underside of it before he can let it rest, still and flat in his mouth again.

The shocked groan and jerk of Daryl’s body startles them both. “What the…?” Shane questioned as he pulled back and stared down at Daryl’s now wide open eyes. Daryl’s hand took his from where it was still playing with his nipple and stroked it down his abdomen, pressing it to his now hardened cock. “Huh.” Shane said, feeling stupid. “Your tongue?” He questioned Daryl, just to be sure it was that tiny, breathless stroke on the underside of Daryl’s tongue that had gotten his dick so hard.

“Yeah, it…” Shane is astounded to see a blush creep across Daryl’s cheekbones.

“Well then, allow me.” Shane swooped in, plastering his lips against Daryl’s, his tongue thrusting into his mouth as he one day hoped to fuck him, full throttle. Keeping his eyes open and on Daryl’s to see his expression, he aggressively ran his tongue up the back of Daryl’s, before he moved it back down and over the web of spongy flesh at the base of the muscle.

The resulting jerk of Daryl’s whole body as well as his cock causes Shane’s entire body to heat, his own cock rising and pushing impudently against Daryl’s hip, leaving a wet streak to mark its territory before Shane pulls back, not wanting to overwhelm Daryl.

He jerks again when Daryl’s hip follows him, deliberately brushing against Shane’s cock and Daryl’s arm snakes in under Shane’s from where he’s leaning over Daryl on an elbow and rests tentatively on Shane’s back, not moving, more holding him in place, making him aware that it was okay to let his cock touch Daryl.

Looking into the laser blue eyes he pushed a little against Daryl’s hip, testing the waters, even as he pulled his hand off Daryl’s cock and rested it low on his abdomen, fingers lightly tugging on the unruly line of hair that arrowed down into the cut-off sweatpants.

“Can I maybe try jerkin’ you off Darlin’?”

Holding his breath, Shane lets it out in a whoosh when Daryl bites his lip even as he nods. A short, sharp jerk of his head up and down, just once. But it’s enough. Pulling back, Shane ignores Daryl’s faint protest in the form of him hardening his arm against his back, before he gives in and allows Shane to move off the bed. Going to one of his backpacks, Shane opens the side pocket and pulls out the small bottle of massage oil he’d picked up on a whim when he’d been at the CDC.

Shaking it a little he turns around and pulls the covers back, letting them pool at the bottom of the camp bed, then he leans over and pulls Daryl’s sweatpants over his hard cock and down his legs, stroking over his skin the whole way. Pushing on the inside of Daryl’s knees, now, Shane smiles when Daryl’s mutely obeys and spreads his legs. “Lookin’ good.” He says as he kneels on the camp bed between Daryl’s spread legs before he arranges himself front and centre at Daryl’s cock.

“You truly do have the prettiest cock Daryl.” Shane says as he picks up the oil and opens the bottle and lets the oil drip into his cupped palm. Its scent ripens the air around them, drenching them in grapefruit and jasmine.

“Gonna’ smell like a fuckin’ girl.” Daryl groused mildly.

“Yeah, ain’t much we can do ‘bout that. I’m gonna’ too.” Shane returned as he held the bottle out to Daryl who took it, capped it and set it aside carefully.

“Long as it ain’t just me.”

“Tell you what, when we’re done with you, you can rub some on me, wherever you want. Deal?” Shane kept the oil in his cupped palm as he waited for Daryl’s answer.

“Wherever I want?” That eyebrow rose again in query.

“Uh huh.” Another short sharp nod answers him and Shane grins as he pulls Daryl’s cock up with his free hand and then lets his other hand drip the oil down over the head of it, watching it run over his fingers lightly gripping it and on over his balls, pooling a little in his messy pubic hair.

Switching hands, Shane’s oiled hand begins to stroke up and down Daryl’s cock, a languid glide of his warm, callused palm over soft, petal pink skin, unmarred by chafing scars that Shane knew most cocks had by the time they got to be their age.

“So where are you gonna be touchin’ me then Darlin’?” Shane questions Daryl as he strokes his cock, all slow and slippery as he watches Daryl’s face. “You like how I’m touchin’ you? Am I gonna’ make you come?” He watches as Daryl’s eyes close for a few seconds, then he opens them, looking straight into Shane’s eyes as he nods just like he had before. Once but with conviction. “You been able to make yourself come since we were together in the house?” Shane asked him now.

“No, only works around you.” Shane stilled as he stared at Daryl.

“You only get hard around me? With me?” He shakes his head and picks up his movement again, focussing on Daryl’s glistening cock.

“Only you.” Daryl confirms his questions and something inside Shane unfurls at his honest, simple words.

“Ain’t right, but that’s a hell of a turn on, I’ll be happy to help you anytime Darlin’.” Shane throws Daryl a wink making him snort at him in return. “Well, that ain’t nice, I should stop and let you finish, make you jerk yourself off while I watch.” Shane muses even as his hand continues his slow, even movements. He can feel Daryl’s cock throbbing, his skin getting hotter under his touch and he can feel his own ignored cock throbbing in matching counterpoint.

Taking his own cock in hand, he strokes it the same way he’s stroking Daryl’s, “Want you to come for me Daryl, I wanna’ see you come an’ feel it and I wanna’ lick it off of you when you’ve finished.”

Shane’s words inflame Daryl, his world narrows until there is nothing but the hard hand on his cock and the words the body belonging to the hand are saying. He hears them faintly, through a veil of blood pulsing in his veins. Words like _come, beautiful, lick you, want, cock_.

Arching his back suddenly even as pain blasted through his head, Daryl ignored it as he clenched his hands into fists, fighting off an imaginary predator as he felt his balls move and his dick harden even more before it literally pulsed and jerked in Shane’s slippery hold and began to release semen all over the place.

“Fuck!” He curses in mortification that he was unable to stave off his orgasm any longer and can feel himself flushing even as his hips jerk and his head blasts starbursts of pain behind his eyes. “Fuck!” He says again as his hands move to his head, fists pressing against his temples, as if to lessen his aches and pains.

“Shh, s’okay Darlin’, you did great, you look so beautiful when you let yourself go like that, your pretty cock throbbin’ for me, cream flyin’ everywhere. Just makes cleanin’ you up that much better.”

Eyes still closed in shame now, Daryl ignores Shane’s words, even as something inside him tries to unfurl in pleasure. Ruthlessly shutting that small piece of pleasure down, he tries to sit up. “Oh no, where do you think you’re goin’?” Shane asked as his other hand pushed Daryl back down, gently, but with a firmness that surprises Daryl. “Didn’t hear me tell you I was gonna’ lick you clean?”

Shaking his head, Daryl opens his mouth to disagree only to have Shane’s own mouth take his words in a harsh, filthy kiss. Groaning into Shane’s mouth, Daryl lets one hand loose from his own head to cup the back of Shane’s, fingers grazing over his bristly scalp, uselessly trying to find purchase as he allows Shane to fuck his mouth.

“Jesus,” He says now as Shane’s mouth moves down his neck, tongue licking and lips sucking as he goes. Shame flying out of his mind, Daryl arches off the camp bed uncontrollably as Shane moves to suck on a nipple, the hand on the back of Shane’s head moves to his shoulder, where Daryl digs into the top of Shane’s muscle there, holding on for dear life as Shane does clean him up.

“Well, I ain’t a deity, but its flatterin’ of you to call me such.”

Giving in and rolling his eyes even as he opens them to glare at Shane, Daryl shakes his head, wincing at the throb that had settled in with his orgasm. The warm, wet tongue licking up through the trail of hair arrowing down to his dick stops his snarky response in its tracks. Dumfounded, he watches as Shane carefully and lovingly cleans up his mess. As when Shane was holding him in his hand, Daryl’s world narrowed to nothing but Shane’s tongue on his skin, leaving wonderfully cool trails of saliva in place of his sticky release. Without even realising what he was doing, Daryl ran two fingers through a stripe of come on his hip and held them out to Shane who paused to watch him.

With a smile that could be called nothing but wicked, Shane took his invitation and opened his mouth, taking Daryl’s fingers inside, sucking on them and twining his tongue around them as he cleaned them of Daryl’s ejaculation. Daryl felt his dick jerking as Shane’s tongue moved wetly between his fingers.

Pulling back a little, Shane licked up the rest of the stripe on Daryl’s hip and then moved back up on the bed, his big body blanketing Daryl who could feel his still hard cock pushing insistently against his other hip while his own jerked feebly, attempting somewhat successfully to rise again as well.

Raising his head for the kiss he expects, a jolt rolls through him as Shane passes him the semen he’s just licked off Daryl’s body. Shane has passed him his own come. Prejudices try to raise their ugly heads, try to tell Daryl that it is wrong, deviant, shameful.

But he ignored them. He’d already decided that he was going wherever Shane went, that he was a man wasn’t a consideration.

Shane gave him pleasure, physical and emotional. And Daryl gave Shane the same thing in return. Daryl was past caring that he had a fucking cock instead of a pussy, and gorgeous sexy pectoral muscles with a tattoo instead of lumpy flopping tits.

Moaning, he allows Shane to fill his mouth before he breaks away. Holding his own come in his mouth, he rolls it around, letting the bitter taste settle into his brain. This is what Shane would taste like, he realised suddenly. This was why Shane had done this, he was letting him know what he’d taste like if Daryl tasted him.

And he was watching Daryl now with an open, vulnerable expression as he waited for his verdict. Biting his lip as he swallowed, Daryl leaned up, wincing again at the throb in his head as he licked the corner of Shane’s mouth, where some of his semen had pooled. Flicking his tongue against Shane’s lips, Daryl let himself fall back down and brought his fingers up to wipe Shane’s lips and then his own, licking his fingers clean afterward. All the time he kept his eyes evenly on Shane’s. Letting him know without words that the taste wasn’t making him squeamish.

“’M okay.” He said, verbalizing what his actions had just told. A blinding smile is his answer. “Where’s that oil?” Daryl asked now as he looked around.

Picking it up before Shane can, Daryl sits up carefully. He pushes Shane up and off the bed, even as he turns and kneels facing it himself. He’d been thinking about this ever since Shane had shown him the photo of Mac.

Biting his lip again, he wondered how to say what he wanted before deciding to just finally spit it out. “On your knees, facing that way.” He said with a jerk of his head to indicate where he wanted Shane positioned on the bed.

Blinking, Shane watched Daryl carefully positioning himself. “You sure you’re up to this, ain’t like I’m goin’ nowhere.” He murmured. “I know your head’s hurtin’, we probably did too much already.”

“Head’s fine, vet said I’ll get headaches takin’ a shit for fuck knows how long, it’s expected.” Grinning at the sarcastic emphasis Daryl put on the word expected, Shane decided to obey him. His brows rise a little when he feels Daryl’s hands move his knees apart so he is lying with his shoulders on the bed and his ass spread wide open for Daryl.

“You said I could put the oil anywhere right?” Daryl asked as he leaned in. Shane could feel his breath ghosting across a butt cheek and shivered in response, his own cock jumping in expectation.

“I did, and you can. I have no limits with you Daryl. You can do anything to me.” He whispers the last sentence, almost shamefully as he admits the power Daryl has over him. An indrawn breath answers his statement, proving Daryl had heard his admission.

Then, before Shane can do or feel anything else, a quick kiss is brushed across one of his cheeks, before he hears Daryl’s unscrewing the oil. “Ain’t never done this before, so if I do somethin’ wrong, you’d best tell me.” Feeling the oil dribble down his crack from where Daryl was letting it splash down on him, Shane swallowed and took his cock in his hand, letting his pre-come flow over his fingers as he spread it over his cock. “I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout your asshole ever since you showed me that picture of you fuckin’ your Mac. Been wantin’ to know what it feels like inside. But I wanted to feel it first, before you fuck me with your cock.”

A moan of pleasure at Daryl’s matter-of-fact words left Shane’s mouth before he knew where he was. Daryl was going to let him fuck him. He wanted that more than almost anything. But, “You can fuck me too, whenever you’re ready Daryl.” Shane needed him to know he wasn’t going to expect any less.

“I figured. Don’t know when I’m gonna’ be ready for either. But I expect it’ll happen. But that picture?” Shane nodded fuzzily when he realised Daryl was waiting for an answer. “It…stirs me Shane, makes me want things, makes me need things, makes me need to _do_ things. Do things to _you_.”

“Fuck!” Shane swore as he felt another soft kiss on his other butt cheek even as hard fingers slid down his crack, getting slippery with oil as they tease around Shane’s hole.

“Nope, not yet. But ‘less you say no, ‘m gonna’ be puttin’ my fingers inside you Shane, I’ve a need to feel you from the inside.”

In answer, Shane wantonly spread his knees and arched his back so his ass was presented for Daryl, the camp bed nothing but a platter to serve himself on. Allowing himself to relax, Shane focused on his hole and let himself dilate in anticipation.

The sharp breath behind him told him without words that Daryl had seen his invitation. And before he could say anything, beg Daryl to stuff him full of his fingers, that he’d take whatever he was willing to give, Shane felt a warm muscle press tentatively against his relaxed ring.

“Holyjesusfuckingchrist.” He breathed without pause as he realised Daryl was tonguing his ass. “Don’tstop.” He said again as he reached back his free hand and pulled on an ass cheek, spreading himself even more for Daryl’s hesitant touch.

Taking Shane at his word, Daryl continued to tongue him, swiping up and down through Shane’s crack, tongue tracking through his hair, finding his skin underneath and laving it in an entirely studied and as erotic as fuck manner.

Daryl’s focus on his task negated his lack of experience as Shane felt his hole worshipped as it never had been before. He could feel Mac laughing his ass off, pun intended as he was taken apart, body and soul by a virgin.

A finger pressed on his hole, pushing inside slowly even as Daryl continued to tongue around his rosette and along his crack. His free hand moved along Shane’s perineum, gathering oil to stroke and press there before moving down to gently cup Shane’s drawn up sac and simply hold it, warm and snug in such an intimate manner that Shane felt tears of pleasure prick his eyelids.

Shaking in need, he began to jerk his cock, hard and fast, ignoring the pre-come he was splattering over their newly clean bedding. “Daryl.” He moaned. “More.” A second finger slides inside him, both of them beginning to thrust in and out slowly. The tongue left his crack and began to lick and suck at a cheek, breath whispering across his damp skin, bringing goosebumps in its wake.

Letting go of his own ass cheek, Shane reached back, grabbing an ear of Daryl’s he tugged, mashing Daryl’s face against his ass as he felt the telltale tingling in his balls. A sharp nip of teeth sinking into the meatiest part of his cheek, as Daryl’s obeys his tug and allows his face to be held against Shane’s ass, is his undoing.

Hot splashes of his come rain down on the bedding, practically sizzling they’re so overheated as Shane lets loose a long, protracted moan. Daryl had made him come just by fingering his ass and not even getting anywhere near his prostate. When he’d finally wrung himself dry, it took Shane a few tries to move, falling to the side so he wasn’t lying in his own come.

But his shocks for the night weren’t over.

As he lay there, he watched in dumfounded arousal as Daryl’s increasingly dark head bent down and licked the bedding, lapping up his come from it and swallowing without complaint.

Pushing himself up on his side, Shane pulls Daryl to him, “You are the sexiest motherfucker, so fuckin’ innocent’n even sexier for it. Never ever be ashamed. You’re perfect exactly the way you are Daryl Dixon.” A flush stole across Daryl’s face and spread down his body at Shane’s words, making Shane smile in pleasure. “And that flush is sexy too, I hope no one ever gets to see just how far it goes down your body but me.” And that of course made Daryl’s flush deepen.

“Okay, I’ll stop now.” Shane laughed making Daryl wince. “And so will you, pushin’ your fuckin’ boundaries and makin’ yourself feel worse. “’S my fault.” Shaking his head, Shane went to stand. “Need to clean my ass.” He said as he felt the slipperiness between his ass cheeks.

Daryl pulled himself upright and stood carefully. “I’ll do it, I got it dirty.” He smiled a little, before dropping his eyes.

“Well that ain’t an offer I’m gonna refuse.” Shane bend and took up his briefs, handed them to Daryl and presented his ass again. He smiled as he felt Daryl cleaning between his cheeks and put a leg on the camp bed so he could wipe over his sac as well. Then he turned and took the briefs, wiping off the leftover come, now mostly dry crust from Daryl’s torso. “Let’s sleep. We can do the rest tomorrow.”

Settling down in the bed together, they lie side-by-side, and let sleep claim them.

 


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N - Remember this is AU-ish, relationships have been changed etc. New characters appear in different ways, Merle is Merle as always. And please God, tell me if I didn't keep track of everyone properly. I think I did, but the scene is just so huge I might not have. Let me know._

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Shane is helping Daryl get his boots on when he remembers Daryl's question of the night before. "Hey Darlin'? What did you mean about 'where' when I asked if I could kiss you last night?" He asked as he tied Daryl's laces and sat back on his knees, looking at Daryl sitting on the side of the camp bed.

He is intrigued to see Daryl duck his head and bite his lip. Then he slayed Shane as he was beginning to think Daryl always would when his eyes pinned Shane with his open honesty. His complete lack of guile. "In the study, you asked to suck my cock." He answered in a low murmur, shifting on the bed in a way that made Shane realise his cock was _tingling_ as he called it.

"Oh, well now. I can do that if you think you'd be okay with it Darlin'. Tonight in fact if we're up for it. Fuck knows what's gonna happen today." Shane muttered. "I got a weird feelin'. When I was out before, Glenn was askin' if we'd both be at breakfast. Even mentioned Merle bein' there."

"Well shit, that ain't good." Daryl answered as he took a deep breath, held Shane's shoulders and pushed himself to his feet.

"Vision?" Shane asked as he stood after Daryl, allowing his shoulders to be used for him to keep standing.

"There's only one of you thank fuck." Daryl said as he grimaced at his head. "Still got a fuckin' headache."

"I bet." Shane stepped back, allowing Daryl room to walk toward the annex of the tent. Just as the step through to it a girly voice speaks from outside.

"Knock knock."

"Mornin' little one." Daryl answered Sophia as did Shane.

"Mama said I always need to knock like that because there's no real door, but then I have to talk louder, is that okay Mister Shane?" Her voice is a little anxious as Shane and Daryl make their way outside the tent.

"Its fine kiddo, I expect in a day or two we won't need to worry too much about the noise. Our Daryl's gettin' better."

"Oh good, Mama said to say breakfast is ready and did you want a plate, but I guess you're coming over since you're both up?" She dropped into place, skipping a few steps to match her stride to Daryl and Shane who were walking in sync.

"Figure it's time to be up and around, vet said today'd be okay." Daryl said.

"Yeah, but you still gotta take it easy." Shane said as he steadied Daryl over a tree branch sticking up of the ground as they stepped to where Carol had set up an outdoor kitchen.

Settling down and letting Shane get him a plate of eggs, Daryl looks around their camp. He could see immediately that the camp was divided almost in two with T-Dog sitting squarely in the middle.

Rick and Lori sat with Carl and Dale who was hovering as usual over Andrea who was studiously ignoring everyone for the moment, and yes Daryl was grateful for that.

Carol and Sophia were sitting with Glenn who had Maggie with him though she wasn't eating. Merle was sitting on their side, though not with them and he and Shane had settled down there as well, ignoring the chairs on the other side of the campsite.

"Interestin'." He muttered as Shane sat down beside him.

"What's that?" Shane asked as he dug in.

"Clear divide in the camp wouldn't you say?" Daryl asked him a laconic voice as he ate his own breakfast.

"Yeah, has been for a bit I guess."

Before Daryl can answer, Glenn stands up, pushing Maggie away as she tries to stop him. He looks over at Shane, Daryl and surprisingly, Merle as well. Then he speaks. "Everyone, the barn has walkers in it. Herschel believes that the government is still working on a cure and that they can be vaccinated and they'll return to normal." He swallows when he's finished talking, the sound loud in the complete silence that has fallen over the camp.

Shane stands as Daryl finishes his eggs, then takes up his coffee before he hands his plate to Sophia and stands as well. He looks over at Merle and sees him standing, fury in every breath he takes.

"What. The. Fuck?" He asked, every word a bitten off sentence. "Are you tellin' me that my baby brother's been sleepin' – when he's fuckin' vulnerable – with a barn load of fuckin' dead fucks nothin' but yards away?" He moves toward Maggie, hands clenched into fists but Glenn stands in front of her.

"It's not Maggie, it's her father." His voice is firm, brooking no argument. Merle purses his lips but subsides, then he looks back over his shoulder, catching Daryl's eyes, then Shane's.

"Well, let's go see then shall we?" he makes a grand gesture to everyone as if they're heading off on an adventure making Daryl snort at him and Sophia giggle.

"Fuckin' dipshit." Daryl mutters as he shakes his head and moves toward the barn with Shane and the other's following.

Glenn explains Herschel's thought processes in more detail, Maggie adding stuff in. But Daryl can tell that people have lost their trust. Dale is wondering how they hadn't realised which makes Daryl laugh and Shane stop and look at him.

"You knew," He said accusingly as he realised Daryl wasn't surprised.

"Yup." Daryl said, laconic again as he watched Merle whirl around and stare at him.

"You knew that there were walkers in this barn and didn't see fit to inform the rest of us? I have a child here!" Lori moved toward Daryl who raised an eyebrow at her.

"If you paid him the attention you should now he's on his feet, you'd keep a better eye on him. As well as that, the place is locked up tighter than a whore in church."

Carol stifled a laugh and drew Sophia away when she asked what Daryl meant with those words. Rick pulled Lori away though he tossed a stern look over at Daryl, indicating they'd be having words.

"Fuckin' bunch of hypocritical shits." Daryl shook his head.

"How come you never said nothin'?" Maggie's soft drawl cuts over everyone else's words.

"Smelled 'em when I rode up. Tracked the smell that same day. Like I said, place is locked up tight, they ain't gettin' out. Figured your old man had some freaky left wing bourgeois idea 'bout 'em comin' back."

"Bourgeois?" Maggie asked him in a questioning tone.

"Oh Daryl reads the dictionary for fun." Andrea's sarcastic voice cuts over everyone else's and they stop and stare at her.

"Mean's boring." Shane answers Maggie's unasked question. He turns to Daryl. "You an' me are gonna' have a go round later Darlin', but for now…" He trails off and moves to the barn, jerking back when he puts his face to the crack in the doors and a zombie lunges for him. "Fuck." He curses vilely.

Listening to the group blather on about what they should do, or where they should go and Rick saying he'd talk to Herschel, Daryl lets his attention wander. Looking around, he frowns and winces at what he sees coming toward the group. None of whom have noticed them yet.

Herschel, Otis and two walkers being dragged along by the animal control poles noosed around their necks. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" Shane asks at large when he spots them. He ignores Maggie's pleading tone, her words that her mother is in there, her other brother, friends and neighbours.

"Oh this has got to end. It ends now." Un-holstering his weapon, Merle's words barely penetrate Shane's haze of anger and fear. He watches as Merle's own hand pulls out his pistol and he stalks up to Herschel, cuffing him on the side of the head and making him drop the pole. The released zombie snarled and moved forward with Merle raising a booted foot and kicking it square in the chest.

He does this again, keeping it away as he reaches for Herschel. "You stupid fuck, you think the government is gonna come an' rescue you and your family and your friends? You think you're gonna head back to the life you had before?" Spittle flies from his mouth, dousing Herschel as he puts his face up in Merle's and argues with him, blood streaming from the cut on his forehead.

"I don't fuckin' care, you are wrong! You hear me old man? You are fuckin' wrong!" His words yelled loud and clear freeze everyone long enough for the snarling from the barn to penetrate their altercation. Their sounds have stirred up the captive walkers. Merle plants his boot one more time in the zombie's chest and follows up with a shot directly to its un-beating heart.

Herschel gapes when it does nothing but snarl louder and keep coming. "You see?" Merle looks at him and Shane rolls his eyes and puts the one Otis was still holding down with a head shot.

"He ain't gonna' get it Mer." Shane snaps as he turns moves back to the doors of the barn. Only Daryl realises Shane has used his own nickname for Merle. "Let's get this shit over with, I fuckin' told you this weren't no utopia." He muttered as he stabbed Rick with an angry look. Aiming his weapon, he two handed the grip and shot the lock before he moved forward and pulled on the chain, letting it rattle through the embedded D-rings to fall heedlessly to the ground.

Daryl starts when a shotgun is pressed into his hands, Carol nodding at him breathlessly as she motions to Sophia holding a box of shells. Nodding, Daryl loads it quickly as he sees the first of the walkers begin to make their way to where they could smell living flesh.

He pulls Sophia behind him. "Stay behind me little one." He feels her step up and hug her arms around his waist, making him wince but not say anything as she brushes the wound in his side. The box of shells is held in her hands right at his belt buckle for easy access and she is protected by his body in full.

Carol steps to Shane and hands him a couple of spare magazines, then does the same to Merle. Then she steps back out of the way, keeping herself behind Shane as he stands and focuses. Rolling his shoulders, he draws Daryl's attention, he's off to Daryl's left and standing ahead of him, Carol keeping herself out of the way behind him. Merle off to Daryl's right and standing between Shane and Daryl.

The others are spread out in front of the barn in a rough semi-circle. Maggie holding Beth as Otis and Patricia hovered over a bleeding and shell-shocked Herschel. He was just staring at the now fully dead corpse on the ground in front of him. He looks up, gaze catching Daryl's before moving beyond him to the walkers moving out of the barn toward them.

Turning at the first shot, Daryl racks a round in his shotgun and lets loose.

The sound of their weapons discharging rolls around the small valley the farm is sheltered in. The echoes multiply as the sound goes on.

And then the waves roll through the trees, up over the top of the valley and beyond.

###########

Hours later, Daryl sinks into a chair beside the fire Carol has going. The nights are getting cooler. Merle is already eating, his pale skin covered in hunks of dead flesh that he ignores as he fills his stomach. He grunts when Sophia drops a bucket of water and a rag in front of him and then takes out a pump bottle of soap from the pocket of her cargo pants.

A few minutes later as he's finishing his own dinner, she does the same to him. He jerks a little when Shane's hands come around his neck from behind and he scoops his fingers into Daryl's stew and takes some before Carol can hand him his own bowl. Shaking his head he continues to eat as Shane squats beside his chair.

"I started packing." Carol mentioned out of the blue. Daryl looked up at her, but she's looking at Shane. "Just have to pack our beds in the morning. Did my best with your stuff too, I hope I got it right."

"Don't matter, long as it's all packed." Merle muttered as he handed back his bowl and then took off his shirt, balling it up and staring at it for a minutes before he tossed it in the fire. He began to wash.

"Packed?" Glenn asked as he came over and sat on the log that had been dragged into service as a seat as well.

"We're leavin'." Shane answered simply. "Your girl's old man told us to leave, so we're goin'."

"No, we're not." This came from Rick as he strode into the fire's light.

"Yeah, we are."

"We can't leave…" He pauses as he looks down and rubs the back of his neck, making Daryl squint at him. He had some news he didn't' want to share but was going to anyway. "Lori's pregnant."

Daryl groaned and Sophia looked at him with a flash of hurt in her eyes, she moved away before Daryl could make a grab for her. Shit, he was going to have to apologise to her later, try to explain to her why that was a problem now.

"Rick…" Shane finished off his stew and Carol took the bowl from him and he stripped off his own shirt and began to use Daryl's bucket of water to clean himself down. "I love you like a brother man, but we ain't stayin'. I'd love for you to come with us, this place ain't safe. We can't be stayin' here."

Both men ignore the rest of the group. Glenn gets up quietly and leaves, heading toward the house. Daryl watches him with a frown.

"Where are you headed?" Rick asked Shane quickly. "There ain't anything out there anymore Shane, you know it as well as I do."

"Maybe not, but we're gonna try."

"Who the hell is we?" Rick asked now in an exasperated tone. "You and Merle and Daryl? You and Merle will kill each other." He said making Lori laugh as she came to stand behind Rick.

"You'd be wrong then cop, ain't gonna be the last time you are neither." Merle's words are vicious as he takes up the clean shirt he'd tossed on his chair when he sat down to eat. "Ain't gonna jeopardize my brother's happiness, no matter what I feel on the subject. But you don't get shit like that. Ignorin' your family for the good of the 'whole'. He stabbed a finger at Carl who is hovering behind Lori, quiet for once. "Your fuckin' brat took my pistol from my bike. I want it back. Now."

The silence of the camp is absolute as Shane stares from Merle to Carl and then Daryl who watches Rick silently. Carl backs away as Lori turns to him, making a run for it before she can grab him. He turns and has taken two steps before T-Dog grabs him. Rick strides over and pats him down. His head drops when he pulls it out.

"Carl." He said quietly.

Shaking his head, Daryl began washing himself down with the now cool water. He took his rag from Shane's hand and threw it in the water and stripped off his own shirt, ignoring everyone standing around still talking as he washed himself with economic movements. Grabbing the shirt he'd also brought he put it on after he'd dried himself off and then used his dirty shirt to clean off his pants and boots. Then, like Merle he tossed it into the fire as well.

Leaving Shane and Merle and the group, Daryl headed off after Sophia. He'd seen her moving off toward the ruin of what he'd realised had been an old smokehouse. Arriving there, he sat beside her as she shivered on the cold stone wall. "C'mon." He put his arm around her and she snuggled in beside him.

"You know what the world is now don't you little one? It ain't ever gonna be the way it was. Fact is, I think it's gonna get worse, 'specially if we can't find any place that's safe to settle."

"But why is a baby bad?" Sophia asked as she slid her hands around Daryl's waist, holding him carefully now as she remembered his arrow wound.

"Noise, extra needs like special food, clothes and shit. You an' me can make do with the same shoes for a good while. Me for longer as my feet ain't still growin'. Babies need lots of shit we're gonna have to make room for. Plus, ain't like we got a hospital Lori can just check in for when she's gotta give birth."

"Then she should stay here with Mister Herschel." Sophia's child brain said simply.

"Yup." Daryl agreed wholeheartedly. But he knew the farm wasn't safe. The walkers were wandering closer every day.

And just at that moment, the wind changed.

It brought with it the stench of death. Old, rank death.

"What the hell?" He questioned as he inhaled and nearly choked. This wasn't like the barn. This was worse.

Sophia figures it out first. "It smells like the highway when that big group came through." She whispered as she sank closer to Daryl's side.

"Fuck." Daryl swore as he realised she was right. "Quiet now, up and let's go." He said as he got to his feet. Muttering to himself about where the wind was coming from, he kept hold of Sophia's hand and moved with her, trying to keep upwind of them and circle around them at the same time. Hoping that the larger group at the house would distract them, even as he thought of Shane and Merle and Sophia's mother, Daryl still knew his first priority was to keep Sophia safe.

Walking quickly, picking their way through the woods, Daryl doesn't stop when the gunfire starts.

Or the screams.

They begin to run as the wind changes and suddenly an explosion sounds behind them. "Fuck!" He said again as he kept hold of Sophia, trying desperately to move around and get upwind of them.

They get further away from not only the walkers but the farm as well. Knowing where he and Shane and Merle had decided to meet up doesn't help. They'd had that discussion just yesterday, none of them had had the opportunity to put in supplies or anything. But still, he had a point of reference to get to.

"D… Daddy." Sophia managed to choke out, stopping Daryl in his tracks. He watches as she bends over at the waist and retches.

"Fuck." He said again as he looked around. "Little One, we can't make a stand here, we gotta' keep goin'. He sees her nod as she braces her hands on her knees and pushes herself upright.

"I know, sorry."

"You carry her, I'll keep your back safe." The soft words carry from just a few feet away and have Daryl turning, his knife coming up even as he yanks Sophia behind him, not caring that they were both standing in her vomit now.

She is standing there, blending in perfectly with the night. Except for the sword that hangs negligently from her right hand, blood and brain matter obscuring most of the blade, telling of her ongoing fight tonight. Her breath is heaving, Daryl can see her abdominal muscles fighting as she tries slow it down.

The squeeze of Sophia on his waist where her arms were tight around him again warned him and he turned to meet the attack, not surprised when the woman stepped up as well. When they finish with the few walkers, Daryl looks at her again.

Moving his knife to his left hand he sticks out his right. "Daryl, this' Soph, Sophia." He says, watching as the woman stares at him.

She blinked, then moved her sword to her left hand as well before clasping his, their calluses rubbing together as they shake twice before letting go. "Michonne."

##########

Shane watched Merle shake his head and turn to his tent. "I'm gonna break it down and sleep in the truck." He said to Shane as he moved to his tent.

"Me too." Carol said as she turned and looked to where Daryl was going after Sophia.

Just then, Glenn and Maggie shocked the hell out of everyone by coming up with bags as well. Glenn looked at Merle, then Shane. "We're coming with you." Beth is a pale wraith behind Maggie, arms bundling a sleeping bag and a pillow with a two backpacks slung over her shoulders.

"Girls." Lori stepped forward only to be blocked by Glenn.

"No, we've decided, all three of us." He says as he moves to Shane's girly SUV and opens the door. Shane watches mutely as they toss their bags inside. Beth and Maggie get in and Glenn goes to his tent and begins to break it down economically, then helps Carol.

"Shane." Rick is suddenly standing there, front and centre. "You can't be serious. Where are you gonna' go?" He asked quietly.

"We're gonna' try for Fort Benning first, if it's gone like those travelers said, then we'll figure it out from there. But here ain't safe Rick, you know it ain't."

Suddenly, as the wind was wont to do in the valley, it swept around, changing positions in a matter of seconds.

And the last change brings the smell of death.

Glenn stands and inhales before his faces leeches of all colour. Shane watches in fascination as he turns and looks at Maggie and Beth in the SUV. He leaps for the camper van even as Shane looks to his tent. There was no way he'd get it broken down in time. Biting his lip, he moved inside it and then stared.

Carol had already broken down the bed and packed it. Grabbing the left out sleeping bags and pillows, Shane tosses them into his SUV with the other bags, then the rest of his stuff, he tosses into Carol's Cherokee. "Get in, go back to the highway, get to where we left provisions and wait for me and Mer and Daryl. Don't get out until we get there for you." Glenn shoves more stuff in Carol's Cherokee and pulls Beth out of Shane's, shoving her inside Carol's with a pistol.

"Stay with Carol, do as she says, Maggie and me'll come for you. I promise!" Jimmy surprises the hell out of them by flying over and tossing a sleeping bag and a backpack into Carol's Cherokee before he grabs a rifle from the bag of weapons Glenn had dumped on the ground.

"I ain't stayin' here." He says simply as he takes up a box of ammunition as well and shoves it in his baggy pocket.

Blinking, Shane looked at his and Daryl's additions. "Well alright then. You better be able to follow orders, this ain't gonna be some free-for-all democracy." He mutters as he slams the back door of the Cherokee.

A shot sounds as Carol starts the engine. "Get the fuck outta' here!" Shane calls as he thumps the side of her vehicle. Tyres spin for a few seconds before they gain traction and she takes off. From the way she drives, it takes Shane but a second to realise that Ed had likely never let her drive much.

"Shit, another lesson." He said as he leaned down and picked up a couple of boxes of shells for his shotgun. Opening the cartons, he puts the shells into the pockets of his cargos, watching as Andrea loads up as does Rick and even Lori.

Dale and T-Dog are already off trying to gather as much as they can. "Where's Daryl?" Merle asks as he comes up.

"Upwind with Sophia, he'll be okay, he'll keep ahead of 'em and meet us." Shane says even as his chest hurts. "Better be fuckin' okay or I'll shoot 'im myself."

"Yeah flat-nose, get in line." Merle laughs a little as he puts his shotgun to his shoulder and begins to shoot.

Standing back to back with Merle, Shane picks off as many as he can, he watches and shoots as Rick manages to draw a bunch to the barn and set it on fire.

Lori, Patricia and Andrea stand back to back and fight as well before their ranks are broken. Shane closes his eyes as he sees them go down.

"We gotta' get the fuck outta' here. We're fightin' a losin' battle." Merle says to him.

"Glenn, you'n Maggie take my SUV. Merle you get your bike." Shane says as he heads to Daryl's truck. "Get back to the highway, we'll meet there." He says to Glenn and Maggie.

"Lori!" Rick's scream has Shane turning away from Daryl's truck. He shoots and looks over to see Rick trying to drag her away from the ones that have their teeth sunk into her literally.

"Fuck!" Shane ran, giving up on shooting, he used the butt of his shotgun to fight his way through the horde. Getting to Rick, he wastes no time, smacking him up the side of the head, he yells in his face. "Finish her, she's gone. Get your fuckin' son!" Watching as Rick sucked up his grief and looked around spotting his son with Jimmy in the RV, he nodded and stood.

"I can't."

"I'll do it." Shane says as he racks a round and shoots a walker making for Rick. "Go!" He watches for a second, looking around at the farm. The ground floor of the farm house overrun, the burning barn and then the exploding fuel tank where Herschel kept his generator.

Glancing over, Shane sees Otis running awkwardly to Herschel and grabbing him up and getting him into his old truck. Shaking his head he looks around to find himself temporarily in the clear. Looking down at Lori and seeing her wide gaze looking back, Shane shakes his head.

With her throat torn out, she had no final words to say and Shane grinned as he thought of how fitting that actually was. He watched her frown as she looked at his grin. "You expectin' me to be grievin' for you Lori? After the way you treated me and 'specially Daryl; that just ain't gonna' happen. I'm real tempted to leave you here to rise again. But I won't do that to Rick, he's my brother." Shaking his head at her frown deepening, Shane continued. "Guess you're gonna have to suck up that he's still alive and in about ten seconds you're gonna' cease to exist."

Holstering his pistol, Shane picked up his shotgun, looked around to make sure he was still clear as he reloaded it methodically. Racking a round, he lifts his foot and rolls Lori over like a rag doll. Her face now in the dirt, Shane aims the shotgun at the back of her head. "You ain't gonna' keep that face Lori." He says quietly as he softly pulls the trigger, his shoulder snuggled into the butt of his shotgun as he hugs the recoil, leaning into it like a lover.

Flipping her back over, he takes one long look at the woman who'd tried to take him from his brother. "Never was gonna' happen, but it'll be a lot easier for us to stick together now if he wants, that's for sure." He says as he stands and looks around at the burning night.

Turning toward Daryl's truck, Shane takes a couple of steps before he turns back. Rick would no doubt want to come back and bury her. Rolling his eyes, Shane bent and grabbed one of Lori's feet, then dragged her toward the barn. When he's there, he picks her up and tosses her body into the burning flames.

Back at Daryl's truck, he gets in after one last look around. "Alright then." He says to himself as he starts the engine. Hands slam on the hood before he can put the truck in gear. Dale stares at him, blood streaming from a wound on his abdomen. Switching off the engine, Shane gets back out.

"What you want then old man?" He asks, his thoughts are with Daryl now, needing to make sure he's okay.

"Well, a cold beer wouldn't go astray. But really, if you'd put me out of my misery I'd be grateful." Dale says simply. Turning, he began walking toward the still-burning barn. Shaking his head, Shane chambered another round in his shotgun and followed him.

Dale knelt, facing the fire, the heat of it making his clothes smoke. "I don't like you Shane Walsh." He said simply.

"Can't say I'm fond of you either, whiny bastard." Shane answers back equably.

"Thank you." Dale bows his head.

"Anytime." Shane puts his shotgun to Dale's head and pulls the trigger.

After pushing Dale into the flames as well, Shane turns only to be brought up short by T-Dog standing there, Patricia dead in his arms. "We should bury them, but I get that we can't." He says as he heaves her into the flames as well.

"Andrea?" Shane asks as he remembers she'd been with Patricia and Lori when they'd gone down.

"Got away, don't know where she is though." T-Dog answered as they made their way back to Daryl's truck, putting down walkers as necessary. The herd was thinning.

"Let's go then." Shane says as she starts the engine again.

As they make their way over the field to the road, mowing down the already dead as they do, T-Dog breathes deeply. "Where the hell are we going to go?" He questions.

"Fort Benning first, from there I got an idea, but I need to talk it over with Daryl and Merle first. You wanna' come along we'll take a vote." Shane says.

"What, you mean you might not let us?" T-Dog's voice rises.

"Maybe, ain't gonna be the same old way, we'd be movin' quick an' fast, no time for discussin' shit." Shane answers as he finally gets to the blacktop.

Dawn is breaking as they get back onto the highway. He stops when he sees his SUV stopped in the middle of the road idling. Stopping beside it, he sees Maggie crying and Glenn comforting her. They wind down their windows. "Let's go." Shane says and Glenn nods as he gets out.

Maggie slides over to the passenger side and Glenn gets in the driver's side. He nods at Shane and Shane pulls ahead, Glenn following him.

When they get to the meeting point, Carol and Merle are already there, Andrea is as well which Shane doesn't bother questioning. Rick had arrived with Carl and Jimmy, Otis and Herschel were sitting silently together. Otis comforting Herschel though Shane didn't know why, his three children were alive and with him. But Shane noticed they weren't going anywhere near him.

He and Merle look at each other. Biting his lip, Shane turns and grabs his shotgun, checking it's good to go, he moves to the back of the truck and grabs some water as Merle does the same.

A whistle breaks the still air surrounding them all. Merle whistles back as Shane just stands on the tyre of the truck and then steps up into the bed and from there onto the roof of it. "Which way'd it come from?" He questioned Merle, knowing that he had a lot more experience in hunting than Shane did.

"West."

Looking in that direction, Shane takes the binoculars that Carol hands up to him. He focuses and sweeps the tree line. Minutes pass, but he keeps looking. Just as the whistle is repeated, he sees movement. Daryl and Sophia and a black woman break out of the trees.

"He's comin'." Shane says.

"Sophia?" Carol questions breathlessly.

"Right as rain by the look of it, get up and take a look." Shane pulls her up and hands her the binoculars so she can see for herself.

"Thank God." Carol choked a little and Shane stroked a hand down her arm, calming her.

"God ain't got nothin' to do with that, that was all Daryl." He says with pride.

"Who is that?" Carol asked now as she realised Daryl and Sophia weren't on their own.

"Looks like he picked up company. Guess we'll find out."

Jumping down, bending his knees to absorb the shock, Shane strides through everyone, not waiting for Daryl to get to them. Merle and Carol follow him.

As he reaches Daryl, Shane enfolds him in his arms before he can say anything, hands moving over his body, checking for bites. "M okay." Daryl says simply as he lets Shane check him over.

"Figured you would be Darylena, ain't like God'd be able to digest us Dixon's now is it?" Merle said with a sarcastic chuckle to hide his relief as his eyes follow Shane's hands, visually mapping that Daryl's body is indeed free of bites. "And who is this Nubian Queen you've picked up along the way. You switchin' to females now baby brother?"

Rolling his eyes, Daryl just shook his head, his own hands taking hold of Shane's "'M okay." He repeats himself to Shane, hands pulling him in for another hug.

"That's Michonne, she helped Daddy keep me safe." Sophia's words drop among them innocently. "Mama, she is so quick with her sword. I asked her about her hair and she said she could make mine like that, can she please Mama?" Sophia tugged on Carol's hand as she looked over at Michonne.

"Michonne, this is Shane and this retard is my brother Merle, he lives with his foot in his mouth, just so you know. That's Sophia's mama Carol. The rest of the group are up there some where's." Daryl waves his hand and Shane gives in, reaching for Daryl again, he fists both hands in the back of his sweating hair and yanks his face forward, taking his mouth in a bruising, violent kiss.

His tongue swipes under Daryl's making him moan and sink into the kiss in return. Only when he can feel Daryl pushing his pelvis forward, does Shane pull back, lips shiny with spit, as are Daryl's. Turning to Michonne, he looks directly at her. "I'm more than just 'Shane'." He says simply.

"Understood." Michonne nods as she answers.

Turning back to Daryl, Shane frowns at him and then down at Sophia. "When did Daryl go from Mister Daryl to Daddy?" He asked as he knelt down to look her in the eyes.

"In the woods." Sophia answered as she looked up at Carol. "I know he's not really my Daddy, but I can pretend can't I? I mean my real Daddy was always mad and hitting us and stuff, we can pretend can't we?" She implored as Merle leaned over and picked her up.

They all started back to camp. "I'd kinda' like to be Uncle Merle." He speaks to Carol as he moves Sophia around so he's piggybacking her.

"Shane?" Carol questioned as she smiled at the way the conversation was heading.

"Only if I get somethin' other than Mister Shane now too." He says as he leans over and tickles Sophia's ribs making her squirm and giggle.

"Papa!" She squeaked quietly. Smart cookie, knowing she really couldn't make too much noise yet. They weren't that far away from the herd.

"Papa huh?" I'm cool with that. You hear that Daddy?" He nudged Daryl who snorted tiredly.

"Yeah yeah. Let's just get the fuck outta' here. We heard the screams." He said on a quieter note.

"We lost some." Shane said as he jerked his head over at Merle who slowed with Carol, leaving Daryl and Shane walking with Michonne. "Lori, Patricia and Dale. Now the other's want to tag along to Fort Benning." He sighed at the thought. "Glenn, Maggie an' her sister and brother were already comin' along. Now T-Dog wants to come, figure Rick'll want to now too, which means Carl."

"Got room for one more?" Michonne asked quietly as they walked up the embankment to the highway.

"Yeah, we do. And I got an idea of where we could try for if Fort Benning don't work out too." Shane says as they make their way through the vehicles to the group waiting for them.

"Where?" Daryl asks.

"Cainville, Utah." Shane says as he reaches for Daryl, holding his hand before he continues. "Mac's hometown."

* * *

_A/N - Okay, usually I post on weekends, but I've decided that I'll post from now, once I've finished writing and editing a chapter. Just FYI. Hope I did this one justice, it was a biggie._

 


	10. Chapter 10

Why?” Daryl asks curiously as they finally get to the rest of the group. He introduces Michonne around and Carol takes her to her vehicle to stow her bags.

“It’s surrounded by canyons and caves. Easy to hide, easier to defend. It’s set in the middle of nowhere. Plenty of wells despite it bein’ in the desert. Small town, real easy to wall off, we’d need to filter the water because of the high mineral content, but it’s mostly self-sufficient, with the wells we can grow our own shit. There’s a lot of wild animals we could hunt. I just don’t got a better idea. But if you do, that’s okay.” Shane finishes as he sits down on the tailgate of Daryl’s truck with him as he opens a bottle of water.

Wiping his mouth, he breathes deeply. “Worth thinkin’ about if Fort Bennin’ ain’t in operation. We’d be better with one of them hacienda things if we went to the desert though, big thick stucco walls, maybe an old fort, ‘cept no electricity. Damn.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Merle asks as he comes to stand beside Daryl. “We takin’ the others?” His tone says he doesn’t want to. Shane doesn’t particularly want to either. Much as he loves Rick, he realises that Rick is struggling with the changes in the world. But they are brothers, like Daryl and Merle butt heads, he and Rick do too. Rick would just have to come around. And take better care of Carl, pay more attention to him.

“For now.” Daryl answers as he stands, making the decision without conferring with Shane, which both surprised and aroused him. “But they gotta know it’s our way or they get left behind, we ain’t got time for bullshit.”

“Agreed.” Shane stands. “Let’s get ourselves sorted with our gear and be on our way.”

##########

Days later, Shane and Daryl are leading the convoy of vehicles on four wheels, Merle heading it on his bike. It’s been a journey fraught with detours as they’ve bypassed herds trying to get to Fort Benning. Pulling to a stop, they watch as a sentry steps down from the vehicle they’re using as a lookout.

“Well, it’s occupied by some livin’ at least.” Shane murmurs as he opens the truck door.

“So far.” Daryl watches. It is definitely a soldier stepping down. His rifle still has the safety on which is something. The gate rolls open and a big, bearded man steps through.

“Afternoon, I’m Sergeant Abraham. Who would you be?”

“Shane, this’s Daryl.” Shane takes the huge paw put out to him and shakes it as does Daryl. Merle is sitting on his bike, not moving.

“Cat got your tongue boy?” Abraham looks at Merle and chuckles. “I’m not the law you know.”

“Oh yeah, I know that, he’s the fuckin’ law.” Merle grunted as he gestured at Shane. “And so’s he, but he’s kinda’ prone to leave people to die, handcuffed to a fuckin’ rooftop.” He groused as Rick strode up.

“We were told Fort Benning had fallen.” Shane spoke before Rick could take over the conversation.

“It did, we got here and cleaned it out, but we’re not planning on staying, we’re headed to Washington D.C.”

“Smart, best place for survival what with the government there and all.” Rick says as he shakes Abraham’s hand as well.

Shane’s heart aches as he realises he and Rick will more than likely be parting ways. Rubbing it absently, he leans on Daryl a little, feeling his heated body lean back, letting him know he was there.

##########

Later that evening, he and Daryl are settling down in the room they’ve been assigned. They’re not sharing with anyone else as the place isn’t crowded. Abraham’s girl Rosita hadn’t done anything more than raise her eyebrows and nod when Daryl said he’d be sharing with Shane who had agreed equably.

“Be good to sleep in a bed again, even a cot.” Daryl says as he stretches. They’ve pushed them together and managed to find some double sheets. With their sleeping bags on top, it was actually comfortable.

“Yeah, I like our camp bed though. It’s real comfortable.” Shane muttered as he folded his arms across his naked abdomen. His pectoral muscles flex as he watches Daryl stretch his legs out and then bring them up, one at a time to wrap his arm around them as he stretches more thoroughly. “Sittin’ too long?” He questioned.

“Yeah, used to bein’ on my feet all the time.” Daryl sat up, folding his body over, putting his forehead to his knees, his arms reaching past his toes. Shane’s eyebrows rose at his flexibility. “What do you think ‘bout D.C.?” He asked Shane as he sat back up and cracked his neck before stretching his arms.

Swallowing his suddenly dry throat, Shane ran a palm down his stomach, cupping his stirring cock. “Not sure, we should maybe give it a go, but I reserve the right to suggest Cainville again. Trouble with D.C. is that they’re not gonna have any real idea of what the world is like now an’ we’re gonna’ know nothin’ but reality, ‘specially after trekkin’ across the damn country to get there. Darlin’ you’re makin’ my cock hard.”

A hot palm comes down to rest on his hip, making him moan a little in surprise. Daryl turns to look at him over his shoulder, his tattoos gleaming in the low light of the room on his other shoulder. They look like they’re grinning at him with the same fey, sly look that Daryl slants over his shoulder, mouth half-cocked in a smirk.

Shane’s control begins to unravel with that look.

Daryl’s hand strokes Shane’s hip, making him flinch before he slides it to Shane’s cock, his callused fingers sliding up and down it lovingly. Their time on the road had left little room for exploring each other sexually, Daryl was content to wait until he and Shane could be together, he still wasn’t subject to hard-on’s the way Shane was. So much of his life had been lead without sex factoring in that he still never thought to factor it in unless Shane broached it.

Which was fine with Shane. Yes, he realised it was selfish, but it was a turn on for him to know that no other person alive had seen Daryl as he’d seen Daryl. At his most vulnerable during orgasm. He liked being Daryl’s one and only in every sexual way. He was hoarding Daryl he knew, keeping him to himself, he’d kill anyone who tried to get between them without a second thought.

More heat, this time breath over his now straining cock. Shane watches, fighting to keep himself under control as Daryl scents him, almost like an animal. He inhales, holds his breath with his eyes closed, before he exhales on a soft gust of breath that stirs Shane’s nest of dark pubic hair.

It was long, curling tightly now, as he hadn’t bothered to keep trimming it once society had gone to shit. Fingers quest through it gently, further testing his control as his cock jerks and releases pre-come even as Shane fists his hands above his head, clenching them around the bars of the cot.

Mind screaming to keep it together as Daryl begins to mouth at his cock and balls gently. Too gently really, but at the same time the tenderness almost undoes Shane, winding through his thready control to almost shore him up.

 _Let go_ , a little voice tells him in his mind, _Daryl will catch you_. Ignoring it, muscles straining from his fingers down his arms and shoulders, all the way through his back and down to his toes, Shane holds on with all his might.

Trying not to let himself get broken by Daryl. Trying not to break _Daryl_.

“Daryl.” His voice is strained, broken as he flexes his buttocks, pushing his hips up, trying to catch his cock somewhere near, anywhere near Daryl’s warm mouth. And Shane’s control shatters as a sob breaks free.

“Hey.” Daryl is off his cock despite Shane’s protest and up, pulling Shane to him as he kneels beside him, pulling Shane up, his face finding the nook between Daryl’s neck and shoulder as if it had a homing beacon. He shudders as another sob breaks free.

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” He curses even as he holds Daryl tighter, shudders wracking his frame. Coughing a little, he tries to calm himself down unsuccessfully. It’s only when he feels Daryl’s rough palm begin to stroke his back that he calms, settling down slowly, heartbeat by heartbeat.

A while later, Shane leans back, letting Daryl prop the pillows behind him so he’s leaning on the wall. Daryl moves and sits with his legs crossed watching Shane carefully, his hand resting on Shane, one on his thigh, the other holding a hand.

“What the fuck just happened to me?” Shane asked hoarsely. It was a rhetorical question. Both of them knew Shane had needed the release. “I’m…missing Mac again.” He says quietly.

“Figured. You ain’t mentioned him for a bit.”

“I wanted to hurt you just now Daryl. That ain’t right.” Shane tried to pull himself back physically but Daryl wasn’t having it.

“How? How’d you wanna’ hurt me?” He asked as his hand on Shane’s thigh tightened, painfully tightened, making Shane shift at his automatic response in the form of his flaccid cock stirring to life again.

“No, it don’t matter. It was, it was wrong. You ain’t Mac, I ain’t the same with you as I was with him.” Shane says, closing himself off. He looks up, ready to battle if Daryl protests.

But he doesn’t. He continues to sit and hold Shane, his fingers bruisingly tight on Shane’s thigh, his other hand, clasping his fingers, firm but not tight. His head was tilted to the side, his eyes at half-mast as he eyed Shane consideringly.

“What?” Shane asks with a stubborn tilt of his own head.

“Nothin’, if you don’t wanna talk, I ain’t gonna force you.” Daryl leans forward slowly, giving Shane the opportunity to pull away if he wanted to. Shane held himself still, giving in to the voice that had spoken to him before, telling him to let go, to let Daryl catch him.

“Thanks.” His answer is but a whisper of sound as Daryl’s lips brush over his. Heat again, heat Shane was beginning to rely on, to need. Even in the sheer boiling temperatures of summer that was only now just waning, he needed Daryl’s heat.

Hovering over Shane’s mouth, Daryl’s blue eyes lock on his, still somehow fey, though he’s not smiling now. Not until Shane’s own eyes narrow at Daryl, does he lean that final inch and kiss Shane again.

Kissing he’d gotten good at on the road. They’d spent their nights together just kissing, learning each other’s mouths, what they liked and disliked in regard to touch and pressure. Their lips were almost permanently chapped from the nights they’d kiss each other senseless, Shane grinding on Daryl who occasionally reciprocated. But not usually. He didn’t always get hard, but Shane was learning that he still enjoyed their kissing. Eager to learn how to pleasure Shane, Daryl soaked up every touch, every kiss and returned it tenfold.

Shane knew that Daryl was happy to be there for him. But while he wasn’t a nice guy in general, one thing he wasn’t, was a selfish lover. He wanted to give back to Daryl, he _needed_ to give back to Daryl. So he let Daryl kiss him, responding, but not engaging further. _Needing_ to let Daryl take over, control what he did to Shane tonight. That would give Daryl pleasure he knew, and Shane would learn more about Daryl.

The one thing he hadn’t anticipated was Daryl being able to take him apart so damn easily. With breath and heat, he’d taken Shane apart and was now going to put him back together. And Shane thought he was bringing Daryl to life? _You’re so fucking stupid_. His voice whispered in his mind as Shane let his eyes drift closed as Daryl’s tentative mouth made his way down Shane’s neck.

He felt Daryl’s saliva cooling on his skin and arched without thought, pushing his pectoral muscle into Daryl’s tongue, moaning now as Daryl traced his tongue over Shane’s old tattoo, copying the words, leaving more wet trails on his skin.

Fire burned in Shane’s veins. His hands, back on the cot, tightened even further, the metal of the cot groaning in protest. His throat threatened to close up on him altogether as his eyes burned. He’d never, _never_ been treated with such love.

And as the word echoed in his brain, reverberating around and around like a mustang running around a corral looking for a way out, an anguished sound finally escaped when Daryl’s warm mouth enveloped the head of his cock, taking him in. Loving on him.

Loving _him_.

Shane Walsh, fuck-up and sociopath. Holding himself together with spit and baling wire as he opened his eyes each day, wondering deep down if this was the day he was going to finally go full on balls to the wall crazy and follow Mac to the beyond wherever the fuck that was.

 _He_ was loved by Daryl Dixon, inbred hillbilly. Whether words had been exchanged or not, he knew it was true. And god help Daryl, but he loved him right back.

“Fuck me!” Shane’s words are garbled as his wet, weeping eyes open, staring down into Daryl’s startled ones as he stops sucking on Shane and looks up at him.

Time froze as Daryl looked at Shane, seeing beyond the surface as he always did. Seeing beyond what Shane portrayed to the world. No one, _no one_ before had ever been able to just look at Shane and _see_ him without running for the hills.

Instead, the man crouched between his thighs just looking for long minutes before nodding once and leaving Shane on the cot, trembling in anticipation as he rooted through their backpack containing the small amount of toiletries they still had between them.

Pulling out the massage oil that they’d used on each other at the farm, Daryl opened it as he walked the few steps back to the bed, letting it dribble over an index finger.

“Two, I ain’t fragile.” Shane snapped as he spread his legs in wanton need.

“I know you ain’t. But I ain’t your Mac, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ hurt you.” Daryl returned, voice slow and even as he knelt between Shane’s legs and dribbled some more oil directly on Shane’s pulsing hole.

Desperate for Daryl to truly own him, Shane bore down and pushed the moment he felt Daryl’s rough index finger at his rosette. He swore, low and painful even as he clenched down in protest when Daryl went to withdraw. “No Daryl. Fuck!” He opened, looked up at Daryl. Knew he had to explain even as he knew he would fuck it up. “I need you…inside. You own me, I need you to mark me…show me you own me.” Yes, he’d fucked that up, his words garbled, he didn’t even make sense to himself.

“Okay. But I still ain’t gonna hurt you and I’ll stop if I think I am. You got that?” The last sentence, the question, has Daryl’s tone firming right up, sounding almost mean.

“Yes, just…please Daryl, _please_.” Shane was begging, loud and past caring if people heard. “ _I need…_ ” He trailed off as two fingers pushed inside him.

“I know. Tell me what to do though, you gotta tell me what to do.” Looking back at Daryl as he leans up, one hand coming to rest on the cot beside Shane’s shoulder as he keeps his other hand down between Shane’s legs, his two fingers fully inside but not moving. “Shane?” Daryl stopped everything, hovering his body over Shane as he waited for his answer.

Forcing himself to be still and his mind to work so he could articulate for Daryl, Shane swallowed a few times, then a few more times when Daryl leaned down and kissed his Adam’s apple, his tongue laving it gently.

“You gotta stretch my asshole. Spread your fingers inside me…” Shane trailed off as he felt Daryl’s fingers begin to spread inside him. “Yeah, like that, fuck you feel so good Darlin’.” Shane hissed as he felt a finger brush over his prostate.

“What’s that, did that hurt?” Daryl’s words have Shane shaking his head urgently.

“Prostate, like, _fuck_ …male clitoris.” He didn’t know whether he made sense, but when Daryl’s middle finger prodded it again, he must have. “Fuck!” He cursed again, knew he did.

“Shoulda’ told me ‘bout this when I had my fingers in your ass before.” Daryl’s muttered complaint seems to be more for show as he bends his freshly cropped but now fully dark head over Shane’s cock and sucks his head in.

Holding on for dear life, Shane writhes on Daryl’s spreading fingers. “ _More_.” He’s begging again and doesn’t care as a third finger pushes inside him. Their roughness felt so good on his inner walls. Pained pleasure. “Fuck me now Daryl, _please_.” He begged again, spreading his legs as far apart as he could, pushing his hips up as Daryl continued to slowly finger fuck him.

“’K.” Daryl says simply as he pulls his fingers out and lines up his cock.

“Oil…more.” Shane rasps as he looks at Daryl’s beautiful cock. It was hard which he was thankful for, but not dripping, not like he was. “Your cock…should be slick too.” He finally manages to explain when he sees Daryl’s raised eyebrow. Words are getting harder as his mind begins to go offline, his skin tingling in pleasure, as if he’s receiving little electrical shocks across its surface.

“Huh, okay.” Daryl says as he picks up the oil again, letting some drop down on his cock, smearing it around with the fingers he pulls from Shane’s protesting hole. Then he looks back up, eyebrow raised again, asking Shane without words – as he’s so often wont to do these days – whether he needed more. When Shane nodded, Daryl put more on.

Then, he capped the bottle carefully and set it aside. Lining himself up, he moved his knees, pushing them apart, spreading Shane’s thighs, stretching his muscles, making him work for Daryl’s cock in a way he’d never expected.

But… “FuckingJesusChrist.” He swore as he felt his asshole stretch around Daryl’s thick cock. He was pushing, strong and firm into Shane’s hole, no pauses for Shane to get used to his size and adjust to having a cock up his ass again. “Slower…” He trailed off on a moan as Daryl finally bottomed out inside him.

“Shane?” Daryl asked as he leaned forward, bracing his palms flat on either side of Shane’s shoulders now, eyes open, watching carefully as he worked his hips a little. More trying to get himself comfortable. Shane thought that without registering that he was thinking, his mind focused on Daryl’s cock in his ass, his ass being stretched wide by a cock again.

When Daryl says Shane’s name again, he comes back to himself, settling into his body with an almost visceral reaction of aroused desire. Everything felt open, raw and torn. Scratched and abraded beyond measure.

Daryl was inside him. Daryl was going to fuck him, take him over, pull him apart and put him back together. Whole. He’d be whole again.

“Daryl.” Shane couldn’t say anything more, but as always, Daryl understood. He nodded once, short and sharp as he did, then he bit his bottom lip as he closed his eyes and pulled his hips back a little. “Daryl.” Shane keened when Daryl’s cock pulled back, pulling almost all the way out before easing back in, slow and steady. Methodical. Man was learning himself as well as Shane.

Opening his eyes, Shane’s greenish-hazel caught Daryl’s burning blue and he opened his everything to Daryl. Because Daryl _was_ his everything. Daryl saw him and still loved him and wanted to be with him. Daryl knew he wasn’t right but accepted him anyway.

Letting go of the metal of the cots headboard, Shane brought his aching hands down, clasping them around Daryl’s wide shoulders. “Daryl.” He said again as he let Daryl see all of him, let Daryl’s love wash over him and make him clean again.

“Shane?” Daryl asked as he found a rhythm that he seemed to like, his hips stuttering a little when Shane couldn’t help himself from flexing his inner muscles lovingly around Daryl as his cock throbbed inside him.

“Hmm, you feel so good Darlin’.” Shane said as he raised up, mouth opening in invitation for Daryl to kiss him.

And he did. Soft and gentle, breath rasping between them when they drew back, then Daryl dipped his head down again. This time kissing Shane’s cheekbone before sliding his lips down to Shane’s neck where he suckled gently. “Daryl.” Shane said again as he felt Daryl’s tongue on his skin and his cock, deep and throbbing inside him.

When Daryl moves a hand to skate down Shane’s side, fingers whispering over the words carved into his skin, Shane’s heart expands. Not letting go of Mac, but making room for Daryl even as his balls draw tight to his body and his cock releases, coating both their stomachs as a sob finally tears free of Shane.

Jerking back, Daryl’s eyes widen as he sees the tears pooling in Shane’s eyes again. “Fuck, I knew…” Before he can pull out of Shane though, Shane winds both his arms and legs around Daryl, clinging to him, he chokes out words as he feels Daryl’s cock soften inside him.

“No! No, I’m fine. Don’t you fuckin’ move!” He gathered his wits, trying to put words in his brain as he holds Daryl tightly. “Okay.” Finally able to take a breath through everything. Shane began to speak. “I’m gonna let you go and we’re gonna sit here with each other nice an’ calm an’ you’re gonna’ listen to what I say and not go anywhere or say anythin’ until I’m finished.” He hugged Daryl tightly one more time and then slowly let him go.

Pushing away, Daryl looked at him searchingly before he nodded and sat back, crossing his legs and waiting as Shane pulled himself up and got settled. Mirroring Daryl, Shane crossed his legs and then took Daryl’s hands in his own.

Looking up and into his blue eyes, now full of doubt and worry because Shane couldn’t keep his fucking tears at bay, Shane tried to find words to explain. In the end it was blindingly simple.

“I cried like a fuckin’ girl because I realised that I love you.” Daryl blinked at him.

They stare at each other for a few minutes, Shane waiting for Daryl’s reaction and Daryl seemingly memorising Shane’s features.

“I didn’t hurt you? S’not like I know what I’m doin’.” Shane shakes his head. “Okay, okay then.” Daryl heaves a sigh and a frown wrinkles Shane’s brow. Just as he opens his mouth though Daryl speaks again. “Love you too you fuckin’ girl.”

“You son of a bitch.” Shane said as he leaned forward and took Daryl’s mouth in a punishing kiss, his tongue swiping unapologetically under Daryl’s to stroke at his webbing, making him jerk and whine a little into Shane’s mouth. “Should smack your ass for makin’ me think you didn’t love me back even though I knew you did.” He said when he pulled away.

Daryl’s half-smirk came out to play as he let one of Shane’s hands go and stroked it through some come on his chest before pulling it up to his mouth.

“You didn’t come.” Shane realised as he looked down at Daryl’s cock, it wasn’t fully soft, still tumescent, but nowhere near hard either.

“M’good, I wasn’t gonna’ anyway I don’t think, too nervous and shit.” Nodding, Shane licked on Daryl’s fingers when he offered them up, suckling his own come off them on a slight moan.

“I want you to come in me one day soon Daryl. I wanna’ feel you slidin’ outta’ my ass, wanna’ play with it an’ share it with you.” Shane could feel his words thickening as he thought of Daryl playing with his come as it dripped out of his ass. He wanted that so badly.

“Dirty fucker.” Daryl muttered as he continued to clean up Shane’s come with his fingers. Licking them clean and sharing it with Shane as well.

When he’s finished, he looks at Shane from under his eyelashes, a look Shane realises isn’t from shyness, but simply a patented Daryl Dixon look that he gave no one else.

And Shane greedily soaked up every one of them. “I could maybe do that tomorrow night…” Daryl pulled back and stretched a little, arching his back, making Shane salivate he as he saw Daryl’s nipples were pert and erect, begging for Shane’s attention. “If you suck my cock like you said you would before we left that damn farm.”

Tuning back into Daryl’s words, Shane acts immediately. Pushing forward, his hands palming and pushing on Daryl’s shoulders so he lowers back down onto the cot, Shane hovering over him now. “I could do that Darlin’.” Shane murmurs as he looks around to where Daryl has left the massage oil.

Leaning over and grabbing it, he settles back down, one hand arranging Daryl’s legs, spreading them so Shane could move in between them. Once settled, he leans back over and grabs up his dirty t-shirt and a bottle of water. Grinning at Daryl, Shane wets his shirt down and cleans off Daryl’s cock making him flush. “Don’t be stupid. ‘S my shit I’m cleanin’.” He says bluntly.

“What?” Daryl jerked upright.

“Easy now. Just cleanin’ your cock up. You were in my ass you know.” Shane grinned as Daryl realised what he was doing. He pulled back a little when Daryl frowned. “Daryl…Darlin’ it don’t bother me none. I gotta’ be honest, me an’ Mac weren’t exactly clean when we were together. It’s kinda’ part an’ parcel of fuckin’ an asshole you know? Be the same for you if I ever fuck you.” Shane finished cleaning Daryl and sat back, waiting for him to come to a decision. He knew Daryl was thinking about whether he should allow Shane to suck him off right here and now.

“Shane…” Daryl scrubbed a hand over his face. The one that had had its fingers in Shane’s ass not long ago. Daryl sniffed it and looked back at Shane who sat patiently watching him. “You gotta’ talk to me about this shit…fuck, no joke intended neither. I don’t know nothin’, you gotta’ help me out. Otherwise I ain’t equal and that don’t set right with me.”

From the tensing of Daryl’s shoulders, Shane could see him getting ready to turn Shane away for the night. So he leaned forward, kissing Daryl even as he pushed him back again. “I will, tomorrow. Can’t say I know too much myself, but I’ll tell you what I do know. Weren’t like I was lookin’ for another man in my life before or after Mac you know? You kinda’ surprised me Darlin’.”

Pulling back, Shane waits for Daryl to consider his words. His response comes in that single, short sharp nod that he favours when he doesn’t have words and Shane allows himself to relax and smile again. “Then lie back for me and let me play some. I’ve been lookin’ forward to gettin’ my mouth around your pretty cock since your first time I really saw it in the study.” He said as he picked up the massage oil again. He sees the flash of disappointment in Daryl’s eyes as he thinks he’s going to jerk him off instead and grins wider.

Moving up Daryl’s body, Shane kisses him gently, his lips lingering at one side, the side that usually quirks upward in that half-assed smirk that should be patented to one Daryl Dixon and no one else. Nosing down Daryl’s cheek, he kisses as he goes, leaving a warm, moist trail in his wake.

Kissing along Daryl’s shoulder, he laves his tongue over that wide, square joint, remembering the comments he’d overheard the women make when they’d still been back at the quarry and he’d been on guard duty as they washed. Shane grinned to himself, Daryl did have sexy shoulders, coat hanger shoulders Jacqui had called them, wide, square and sexy as hell. Made to make any item of clothing he wore look damn good.

Inhaling deeply at Daryl’s armpit now, Shane ignored his wincing hiss that he wasn’t wearing any deodorant. “’M not either. You don’t mind.” He says in a whisper as he flicks his tongue across a tight nipple, eliciting a slight jerk from Daryl that makes him smile as he continues kissing down Daryl’s torso until he reaches his goal.

Tumescent again, not hard, but not soft. Daryl’s cock looked plump, Shane thought. Plump and ready to be sucked. Shane could feel saliva pooling in his mouth at the thought of finally getting to suck Daryl off. Barring their door being knocked clean down, he wasn’t stopping this now for anyone or anything.

Embarrassing Daryl again, Shane inhaled once more as his face hovered over Daryl’s cock, before he gives into his desire and opens his mouth, taking just that pretty plump head inside his wet mouth. Closing his eyes for a second, Shane moaned as he tasted Daryl for the first time, direct from the source as he ran his tongue around the sensitive head of Daryl’s cock.

Pulling off for a moment, he opened his eyes and looked up Daryl’s heaving chest to catch his eyes and make sure Daryl was okay. “You okay Darlin’?” A slow blink of blue eyes followed by that single, sharp nod that Shane found himself mirroring before he put his mouth back to work and took Daryl in again.

Heat, and firming flesh. Shane moans around Daryl’s cock as it firms in his mouth. His hands move, caressing Daryl’s bristly thighs before they slide up and push them apart further as they glide gently through the hair that protected Daryl’s hole from Shane. Leaving one hand questing through the softer hair there, Shane picks up the massage oil as his jaw opens and he sucks more of Daryl in.

Opening the massage oil, he pours some over his fingers as they press gently on Daryl’s hole. Closing it off, he returns both hands to Daryl’s ass and begins to tease his hole as his mouth simply sucks on Daryl’s hardening cock. “Shane.” Daryl murmured as his legs moved further apart restlessly.

Pulling off Daryl’s cock, Shane looked up. “You okay?” He asked as he stopped moving.

“Yeah, I just feel…weird.” Daryl finally decided on, a flush crawling up his body made Shane realise he was getting embarrassed.

“Darlin’, do you think you won’t come?” Daryl closed his eyes for a moment and then nodded twice as he opened them and looked back at Shane. “Well, okay then. How about I get my fingers inside and find your spot and see if that helps?”

Watching as Daryl thought and chewed on his lip. Shane resisted the urge to push by pressing his fingers inside Daryl. “Daryl, I’ll stop if you want me to, but I want you to feel yourself first for me okay?” Shane saw Daryl frown. “Give me your hand.” Shane took Daryl’s hand as he put it out immediately. “Okay, I’m gonna put your fingers on your hole, I want you to feel it, it’s nice and slippery yeah?” He asked as he helped Daryl rub two fingers over his own hole.

“Yeah, feels…yeah.” Daryl answered him after a couple of minutes.

“Good, do you remember back at the farm when you were at my ass? How tight I was when you first started playin’ with me?” Daryl nodded. “Well you don’t feel like that Darlin’ an’ I’m thinkin’ you don’t because your body is wantin’ to be played with, touched and sucked and fucked. Not tonight.” Shane forestalled Daryl’s rising eyebrows. “But, your body is ready Darlin’. It’s your mind that ain’t. And that’s okay. I’ll stop.” Shane did stop, pulling his fingers away and picking up his t-shirt again to wipe the excess oil off. “I got all the time in the world where you’re concerned Daryl Dixon.” He said with a smile as he tossed the shirt down and got up to put the oil back in their toiletry bag.

Back at the cot, he goes to lie down only to be stopped by Daryl. “Shane, get your fuckin’ mouth around my cock but stay away from my ass. Both together is freakin’ me the fuck out at the moment. But I been dreamin’ ‘bout your mouth on my cock ever since we left the farm. I want that.” Daryl looked up at Shane standing dumfounded in front of him. “Now.” His word echoed in the small room, seeming to reverberate around until it was battering Shane’s senses, his own cock jerking and beginning to fill again when it had remained sated and flaccid ever since his own orgasm.

Blinking bemusedly at _his_ Daryl, Shane looked down his body with relish. “Sure thing Darlin’.” He said as he took his place between Daryl’s still spread legs again.

Obeying his love.

And his lover.

 


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N – My apologies for taking so long to update my story. Thank you to any and everyone who has reviewed in the meantime asking for an update. Your reviews mean the world. Thank you for your patience._

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Daryl sat down to breakfast, nodding at Merle and Carol and grinning at Sophia as she greeted him cheerfully. Looking around, he thought about where he and his family should go to next. Virginia or to where Shane suggested. Utah. That was a hell of a distance. But…he didn’t like the idea of Washington D.C. whatsoever.

“Your flat-nose likes this place in Utah.” Merle grunts when Daryl has finished eating and has returned his dishes to the kitchen and refilled his coffee.

Sitting back down again, Daryl nods and looks at Merle. “Thoughts?” He looked at Carol and Glenn. Maggie and Beth were off somewhere. Jimmy was sitting silently beside Glenn. He hadn’t spoken voluntarily since he’d decided to stay with his sisters when Herschel had informed everyone he was returning to his farm, not travelling with them to Fort Benning.

“Hell of a distance.” Glenn said before Merle could.

“But, Shane obviously thinks it’s a worthwhile place. I mean, I like the idea of Virginia but…” Carol looked all of three of them and swallowed. Daryl could tell she was intimidated by them so he nodded at her to continue. “I trust Shane, both of you.” She finished off with after a few more seconds. “And, I don’t think the government is going to help us. If the CDC was allowed to blow up, I just don’t see any help coming. And I hate that.” She drew in her breath and Daryl handed over his coffee for her to drink wordlessly.

“Agreed, government’s useless as fuck anyway. But fuckin’ Utah?” Merle questioned making Daryl shrug.

“He says it’s a small town, lots of wells, real easy to defend and wall off. Right though, gotta’ be at least fifteen hundred miles.”

“I like the theory of it, but the distance? Merle’s right.” Glenn said making Merle grimace at him. “We’d have to seriously prepare.” Glenn went on making Daryl nod again. “What’s Rick say?” He asked Daryl directly now.

“Ain’t sure, Shane’s askin’ him this mornin’.”

“Well, we go with you. Me, Maggie and Beth and Jimmy.” Glenn stood as he saw Maggie headed toward him, Beth trailing close behind. She was still looking shell-shocked that Herschel and Otis hadn’t come to Fort Benning with them. Beth had surprised Daryl, everyone he guessed, by staying with Maggie and not returning home with her father. Hell she’d probably even surprised herself.

“Fair enough.” Daryl said, accepting Glenn’s words and watching as he kissed Maggie and they left, Beth moving to sit next to Carol who wound an arm around her shoulders and ruffling her hair.

Daryl smiled a little, watching Sophia try to engage Jimmy. She was the only one so far who had managed to get him to interact, though he still hadn’t spoken without prompting. But he was patient with Sophia, letting her natter in his ear about all manner of things. Not once had he gotten impatient with her or walked away, or more, shoved her away. That went a long way with Daryl.

“Well, guess we’d better look at vehicles. I’m thinkin’ we’re probably gonna’ end up headed to Virginia. Fuckin’ inbred state, ‘specially West Virginia.” Merle groused and Daryl stood with him.

They’re working on vehicles, debating what to take but more, what to hide somewhere so they could get them if they came back through Fort Benning on the way to Utah or somewhere else when Shane finds him.

Daryl feels his face flush as little as his dick tightens when his mind flashes back to what he’d done last night. He’d fucked Shane. In the ass, his cock – _his hard cock_ – had fucked Shane to tears. He accepts Shane’s hand on the back of his neck, shivers a little as his fingers skate down his spine and tuck themselves under his belt before pulling away.

“Hey, me an’ Merle’ve been talkin’ ‘bout Utah an’ Virginia.” He greets Shane as he stands up and wipes his hands on his baggy cargoes.

“Yeah, well Rick’s set on Virginia.” Shane sighed and continued. “I get it, way less distance, but I just don’t like it. No fuckin’ way the government is still standin’. If it were we’d have some kind of broadcast at least. An’ I don’t think they’d be stayin’ in D.C.” He said with certainty. Turning to Daryl, he shook his head. “We should vote I think. What do you reckon?”

“Don’t gotta, Glenn’n his crew and Carol and little one are comin’ with us wherever we go. Michonne said so too just before. I ain’t that rightly concerned with anyone else but I know you are with Rick. Guess we’ll leave it with you.” Merle grunted an agreement and Shane swallowed.

“We’re lookin’ to pack some shit up and store it either way Flat-nose, so take your time.” Merle grunted as he swung up into the truck he and Daryl had been looking at.

##########

A few days later and Abraham calls a meeting to advise everyone they were leaving for Washington D.C. Daryl looks at Shane who returns his look and nods. Daryl purses his lips and nods back once, short and sharp in return. “D.C.” He says to Merle on his other side.

“Copy that.” Merle murmurs. “I’ll start loadin’ up that other truck, you scout around for some place to store it.” He meanders off, scooping up Sophia with a rumbling laugh as he goes. Carol shakes her head and Jimmy stares after them before hesitantly following along in their wake.

“Let’s go get your clothes, we’ll give everything a good wash before we get on the road.” Carol says. Daryl and Shane follow her to their room. Gathering all of their clothes at Carol’s insistence, they put them into a duffle and she left with them, promising to return them by the evening. She also informed them she’d be taking all their bedding for the same treatment tomorrow.

That evening as they settle into bed, Daryl finds himself pushed onto his back as Shane straddles him. “I gotta talk to you Darlin’.” He scrubs his hands over his face and scratches his scalp, his hair has been buzzed short again while Daryl’s is now growing out. He was going to let it go this time. The blonde was gone, it was time to forget about fancy style cuts now.

Shoving Shane’s pillow behind his shoulders to prop himself up, Daryl rested his palms flat on Shane’s thighs, his cock was sitting flaccidly on his balls as they sat, plump and low hanging as always, on Daryl’s abdomen. He could feel his own cock stirring a little, but not getting hard. More like being aware of Shane in a sexual capacity he thought idly. “Okay, what’s up?” He questioned quietly. Shane had been quiet since Abraham had noted they were pulling out for Washington.

With a sigh, Shane rested his palms flat on Daryl’s and then looked into his eyes and spoke slowly, feeling his way through the minefield of things he needed to explain to Daryl for why he was going to do what he was. “Mac…his family were fucked up. I mean we’re talkin’ incest and shit like you wouldn’t believe.” Shane broke off and shook his head. “He never took to drugs though he was actually a cook of meth, you know what that is?” Daryl nodded, short and sharp. “Yeah well, he had a crazy gene, I think the whole fuckin’ family did to be honest, but he was drugged years ago and it weren’t pretty. He raped this girl who turned out to be his half-sister.” Shane shuddered and Daryl watched grief flash across his face. “I always wondered how much of Mac’s crazy was bred and how much was born you know?”

Daryl nodded again. He did know, he often wondered that in the dead of the night for Merle. And himself. Oh he wasn’t a violent soul like Merle and Shane could be without damn good cause, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t left of centre like them either.

“Anyhow, that started him in on usin’ what he cooked. I met him years after that. This…” Shane indicated his scarred skin with a gesture of his chin, his fingers tightening on Daryl’s for a few seconds. “Worst fuckin’ day of my life, the fuckin’ shit he did to me…” Trailing off, Shane breathed, slow and deep, trying to keep himself under control. Daryl watched him struggle mutely, allowing him to get hold of himself without interfering.

“When I healed… All I could think of was revenge. I couldn’t report it and shit you know?” Daryl nodded again. “So I planned. I worked, I planned some more and I just waited, lettin’ myself heal, physically and here.” Letting go of Daryl, Shane tapped his right index finger on his temple twice, slow and emphatic. Then he put his wide palm back over Daryl’s hand and spoke again. “Then I repaid the favour.”

A shiver raked up and down Daryl’s spine, culminating in his balls. Shane was admitting that he’d raped Mac in return. How the hell did a relationship grow from that? Shane answered his unasked question.

“I’m fucked if I know how we managed to work our shit out. He had no fuckin’ clue about the prostate, when he nudged it in me that day – when he was havin’ a second go ‘round - he turned pain into pleasure.” Shane shook his head, looking down at his cock sitting flaccidly on Daryl’s abdomen. “It was like…a relief that I didn’t have to hold back, that I could be as rough as I wanted and he’d take it. More, that he’d love it and return the favour.” Shaking his head, Shane finally met Daryl’s eyes.

Biting his lip, Daryl watched Shane before he finally spoke. “What does this have to do with us goin’ to Washington?”

“The girl, well woman now that Mac raped, turned out to be his half-sister.” Shane’s fingers tapped on Daryl’s hands as nerves made themselves known. The other fuckin’ retard brat of a boy? Well, he had a hard on for her, Reggie, Regina Ashton. He kept her captive. When I went back for Mac after we lost contact, I found her. I left _her_ alive.” Shane watched Daryl like a hawk, looking for any hesitation in Daryl over his admitting that he was a murderer.

Daryl thought over what Shane had said. He already knew from reading between what Shane hadn’t said at other times that Mac was dead, he’d died violently and Shane had dealt the same hand to whomever had murdered or been responsible for his death. “I don’t get why you’re mentionin’ this now.” He says as he turns his hands up and clasps Shane’s. Letting him know without words that he has his support regardless.

“She had family back east on her father’s side, they travelled to Utah, when they saw what a mess she was, they put her in an institution.” Shane paused and his fingers held Daryl’s tighter. “In North Carolina.” He finally finished.

“Near the route we’re takin’?” Daryl clarified. Shane nodded. “And you wanna’ make a detour I’m guessin’?” Another nod. “Okay, we can do that, long as you realise she’s more than likely one of the walkin’ dead that is.” Another nod before Shane bent down, nosing up and down Daryl’s jaw, breath ghosting over his sharp cheekbone.

“That’s why I love you.” He said quietly as his mouth cruised over Daryl’s, soft and gentle. “Wanna’ suck your cock Darlin’, put my fingers in your ass and make you come right down my throat and then share it with you, rub it all over myself maybe so I smell like you tomorrow.”

“Jesus.” Is all Daryl can say in response to Shane’s incendiary words. His cock shot from interested to fully on board, rising up and brushing against Shane’s crack. Shane had sucked him off a few times since the night he’d had his cock up Shane’s ass. But he hadn’t gone near Daryl’s asshole. Tonight it seemed, he was going to rip that bandage off, or was that mark it off his bucket list?

Vision hazy with arousal, Daryl watches Shane’s buzzed head as he slowly licks and sucks his way down Daryl’s chest. His fingers skate across Daryl’s nipples, tugging on them before pinching them lightly, making Daryl squirm as his balls tightened, drawing up and exposing his hole to Shane’s greedy gaze from where he’d moved to settle between Daryl’s legs.

He watched silently as Shane took the massage oil bottle and poured some onto his palm. Then he carefully put the bottle on the floor and moved the fingers of his other hand through the oil warming it in his palm, not wasting a precious drop. When his fingers were slick with the oil, he lowered his gaze to Daryl’s hole, making him squirm again as he anticipated Shane’s touch in a place he never thought he’d have anything go into at all.

“Shane.” He whispered softly as two of Shane’s fingers began a torturous glide over his hole, sliding around and around in circles. Shane was almost tormenting him, making his hole so sensitive Daryl was almost flinching from his touch. Quivering, Daryl felt his heart speed up, even as everything else seemed to slow down. His hole was pulsing, throbbing, wanting and needing Shane’s attention, Shane’s fingers pushing _inside_ him, his hole, he _needed_ that more than he needed air right now.

Fisting his hands on the metal slats of the cot, Daryl spread his legs wantonly, letting Shane know that yes, he was ready. Ready for him to take, to possess Daryl, his hole, his everything. Swallowing and gathering what spit he had left in his drying mouth, Daryl thrust down when Shane’s finger pushed slightly on his sphincter. He bore down on it, pulling it inside him. Looking up at Shane as his eyes flashed immediately up to Daryl, questioning. Daryl spoke in a harsh, broken whisper. “Fuck me…it’s time Shane… Fuck me now.”

A fevered groan is Daryl’s only answer as Shane rears back, hands reaching for the oil again as he pours it directly on his own cock, slathering it with the fragrant scent before he kneels up and presses his cock to Daryl’s hole. “I’ll take it slow, I swear to god Darlin’ I will, but I gotta’ be in you now.” With that, before Daryl can even breathe in, he feels blunt pressure on his ring, his muscles seize in reaction and Shane’s pressure becomes painful, making him grunt.

His hands raise up, pushing on Shane’s forearms. “Hold it.” He says as he gathers his senses in from the scattered aroused thoughts he’d had previously. Trembling, Shane is trembling. A fine whole body tremble that Daryl can feel on his palms. Closing his eyes for a second, Daryl opens them and looks up into Shane’s lake water coloured eyes. “Okay, slow.” He says in a raspy voice as he licks his dry lips, feeling a slight chapped piece of skin on his bottom lip. He nibbles on it without thought.

Shane’s gaze focuses on his teeth biting his lip as he pushes forward. “So fuckin’ tight.” He says now as he slowly enters Daryl, taking his virginity in full.

Hot, Daryl is surprised to feel the heat of Shane’s cock on his walls. And…he squeezes experimentally drawing a groan of pleasure from Shane as he feels Shane inside his ass. It felt fucking weird, something going in instead of out. And that made his cock soften somewhat as he thought of the fact that Shane was fucking his ass, his _asshole_. But, Shane hadn’t had any trouble being fucked, had begged for it actually. Had definitely enjoyed it.

Callused fingers stroking his cheek bring him back to the present. He looks back up into Shane’s concerned face, blinking as he stretches a little, liking how Shane’s cock in his ass anchors him as nothing else ever has. “Feels good.” He says before Shane can open his mouth. “You feel good.” Daryl amends with the next breath.

Blinking, Shane quirks a side of his mouth in a half-smile Daryl thinks is familiar. Neither of them register that Shane is mimicking Daryl’s own habitual half-grin. “Yeah?”

Arching his back a little, then flexing his hips which caused Shane’s own hips to thrust forward a little and inch further inside Daryl, he nodded once, short and sharp like always. “Yeah, you gonna’ move anytime soon?” Daryl asked as his hands slid up Shane’s arms to anchor around his neck and bring him down for a kiss.

“Oh yeah.” Shane answers as his lips cruise over Daryl’s teasingly before he sinks in, his tongue thrusting inside Daryl’s warmth as his cock pushes up and he bottoms out inside Daryl’s ass.

Pulling away, Daryl pushes his head back, his neck arching and his Adam’s apple bobbing as he flexes and then clenches down on Shane’s cock inside him. He felt a slightly weird sensation of wanting to take a crap but it was easily ignorable, especially when Shane’s cock slid across that spot inside him. _Prostate_.  

Opening his eyes again, he looked up into Shane’s as he felt his body begin to work without thinking. His hips pushing back against Shane’s, his asshole clenching around Shane’s hard cock, his arms pulling Shane in tight even as little growling sounds leave his mouth as he frantically works for something. Orgasm, he realises hazily as Shane’s own groans joins his. He was going to come, come in a huge fucking way.

“Fuck!” The word tears from him, his voice hoarse as he leans up and his mouth latches onto Shane’s neck. Daryl sucks on Shane’s skin as a hot palm takes hold of his cock and pumps it just after the first pulse of semen spurts out of him. He barely hears Shane’s filthy words as he whispers encouragement into Daryl’s ear. As he speaks about how happy he is, how hot and sexy Daryl is, how wet and soft he is inside and how Shane never wants to leave him.

Jerking again before he even begins to come down from his orgasm, Daryl jolts as he feels heat bloom deep inside him. Shane. Shane was coming inside him. Bathing him with his semen.

The thought passes in and out of Daryl’s mind without registering as he finally falls back on the bed, sweat and sticky. Shane collapsing on top of him, his hand wedged between their bodies, still firmly clamped on Daryl’s softening cock.

After his heartbeat has returned to normal, Daryl breathes in and holds it as he looks lazily at the blooming bruise on Shane’s neck. He chuckles as much as he can with Shane on top of him. It jostles Shane and he murmurs in protest before he pushes himself back, his hips sinking further against Daryl making them both moan a little as Shane’s cock jerks and Daryl clenches down in response.

“Fuck, I don’t wanna’ leave your warm ass.” Shane says as he looks down at Daryl.

“Me neither. But I feel like I gotta’ take a crap.” Daryl says, feeling warmth spread across his cheeks as he flushed.

Laughing a little, Shane pushes up and then pulls back slowly before kneeling between Daryl’s still spread legs. Looking down he licks his lips. “I sure hope you don’t really gotta’, because I’m gonna’ clean you up.” He looks back at Daryl, his murky greenish eyes burning with arousal again as he suddenly flips Daryl over so he’s lying on his stomach.

“Shane! What the… Fuck!” Daryl trailed off, moaning as he felt Shane’s wet tongue licking his balls and taint. It moved onto his ass before he could move away in mortification. Mortification doesn’t last though as Shane begins to suck. Slurping lewdly at Daryl’s hole as he sucks his own come out of Daryl’s ass where he’s just finished putting it.

Against his own volition, Daryl’s body spreads, knees widening, arms moving back to hold Shane’s face against his hole as he pushes back, shamelessly spreading himself for Shane. For his pleasure, for Shane’s pleasure. For _their_ pleasure. Grunting, Daryl pushed, relaxing his sphincter, letting that wet, agile tongue inside where no one other than Shane had ever been, and suck him out.

Feeling fingers scrape across his abdomen, Daryl realises that Shane is gathering up his drying semen. The fingers then slide over his balls and up to his hole where they push inside him along with Shane’s tongue. _Fuckingjesuschrist_ , Shane was pushing Daryl’s own come inside him to mix with his as he ate him out.

Shane suddenly pulls out of Daryl’s grasp and moves up his prostrate body, sweat slicking their skin as he slides over Daryl’s back. A hand in his hair pulls his head up and a bitter, musky taste is on his lips as Daryl welcomes Shane.

More bitterness is in his mouth, semen. Fuck, Shane had passed their mixed semen to Daryl, he was sharing their combined come with Daryl. Making sure they were truly a part of each other.

Forever.

However long that turned out to be.

* * *

 

_A week later they all set off for the state of Virginia. No one in their small group within a group makes mention of the gear they’d purloined and stashed outside the Fort in case they needed to swing back for it at a later date. Shane doesn’t mention his planned deviation from the main caravan of the group. Daryl had agreed to the detour, Merle had cursed and agreed as well. Michonne surprised them by stating she’d come along too. Daryl thought that made sense and agreed before Shane could veto it. He’d made the point that Michonne was female, maybe Reggie, assuming she was alive and coherent and that they even fucking found her would respond better to a woman. Even a kickass warrior woman._

 


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N - For reader clarification, Cone Health does exist in Greensboro North Carolina. Whether they take in the long-term care patient that Reggie was I don't know as I made that up. If you haven't seen_ _**Red Canyon** _ _, Reggie was left at the end in Devon's psychotic incestuous hands, the movie ends with Walter outside their hotel room while Devon rapes her inside._

_I postulate that he kept her drugged to keep her compliant as I truly feel that the trauma's she suffered in the movie pushed her to survive, and that instinct was kept dormant by Devon continually shooting her up._

_The Aunt and Uncle she mentions are Tim's parents. Again for those who haven't seen_ _**Red Canyon** _ _, he was a character in the movie referred to as Devon and Reggie's cousin. Considering he'd never been to Cainville, I infer that he was from their official father's side of the family._

_Shane in_ _**Play, Punish, Mark, Own** _ _if you haven't read that, returned to Cainville and murdered Devon and Walter. Setting fire to the bar and hotel, he rescued Reggie and left her for the authorities to find. He then kept track of her over the ensuing years._

_Sorry for the notes, but I wanted to put this at the beginning for those who haven't seen_ _**Red Canyon** _ _or read_ _**Play, Punish, Mark, Own** _ _so you've got a handle on the final chapter._

* * *

"Guess I'd better go mention that we're breakin' off for a few days." Shane sighed softly as he looked over at Rick and Abraham where they stood looking at a map spread over the hood of a truck.

"Yeah." Daryl agreed as he set up their tent for the night.

"I'm comin' too." Merle said as he stood and stretched. Shane snorted knowing full well he just liked to rile Rick up.

"Hey Walsh, you interested in taking point tomorrow?" Abraham asked as they walked up.

"Can't, me an' Daryl, Merle an' Mich are headin' off for a few days. We'll catch up with you." Shane didn't say anymore, waiting for Rick or Abraham to speak.

"What? Shane what're you talkin' about?" Rick's brow furrowed and he spoke again, interrupting Abraham's query as to why. "We're in North Carolina, you're goin' to Greensboro. For that girl you always checked up on every week ain't you?" His brow cleared as he asked Shane.

"Yeah, I owe it to her to try." Is all Shane answers, Rick doesn't know anything about Reggie, though he probably knows her name and why she was in the institution. He was sneaky like that, the fucker.

"Okay, it's okay." Rick said again, forestalling Abraham's further attempt at protesting. "I'm comin' too."

"I'm goin', you don't gotta come cop." Merle growled as he stepped forward. "Stay with your precious group."

"I ain't askin' you Merle, Shane," Rick looked at Shane. "I'm comin'." Shane nodded with resignation. He was stupid not to realise Rick would insist on coming along.

The next morning the five of them depart before the convoy gets on its way again.

##########

"Well shit, looks like a fuckin' postcard." Merle muttered as he swung out of the four-wheel-drive, jumping up and down a couple of times to stretch his long legs out. He could see the grounds beyond the sign for _Cone Health Behavioral Hospital_ slowly getting out of control, but there wasn't a damn walker in sight so far. He half expected a horde to come shambling around the corner, drawn by the sound of their vehicle. But he couldn't hear anything but birds.

They arm themselves, then walk up the driveway, looking around as they do so. "Movement, ground floor, second window over." Michonne says as her fingers flex on her sword.

Merle looks in the opposite direction, keeping an eye out, knowing Daryl would have looked the other way allowing Shane and Rick to look where Michonne indicated. Woman was tough, Merle had to give her that. Didn't blink at travelling with the four of them.

In his most private of moments Merle knew the four of them together were a recipe for trouble. But for Daryl he'd keep a lid on it. He was just thankful he still had family around to argue with. Most folks didn't anymore. He wasn't stupid, he could tell Michonne was grieving, it oozed from her pores like lava every time she looked at and spoke to Sophia.

Eyes moving back to the entrance doors that were closed, Merle looked over at Daryl and they blinked at each other looking like myopic idiots before Merle peeled off, going for a side entrance. Hand signals didn't work when you were carrying awkward weapons, so they'd worked out other signals years ago.

A slight huff, then nearly silent foot falls follow him. Merle grinned, knowing Michonne was behind him. They slid through the shrubbery, looking into the barred windows. The room doors are all shut but they see dead moving around, or just swaying in place.

"Not like a postcard anymore." Michonne whispered as they found a side entrance and tested the door. The knob turned easily and they looked at each other. Merle nodded and swung the door open, machete in hand as he stepped in after Michonne.

Three walkers are no match for her and Merle shakes his head before stepping over the twitching bodies, he looks at the facility map on the wall. "Kitchen's a good idea, let's see what's what, of if it's been scavenged."

They meet up with Daryl, Shane and Rick on the way, Shane and Rick's knives are also bloody. Passing the dispensary, Daryl pauses and looks at Merle who nods. They'll hit it on the way back, well Merle won't. Much as he'd like to, he wasn't stupid. He knew if he got high again he'd be left behind and as much as he loved a good high, he wasn't losing Daryl. If he had nothing else, he had his brother.

Crunching glass tinkles making them all pause and spread out without thought.

It crossed Merle's mind how well they hunted together. But he shoved it away, no way was he going to admit Rick Grimes knew his stuff. He saw the fleeting shadow and moved toward it.

Ducking the pot as it flew through the air at his head, "Fuckin' get her!" Merle swore as he wove out of the way of another pot.

A maniacal shriek rent the air as the wraithlike figure hurled itself at Daryl, hands extended like talons. "Fuck!" Daryl swore now as the lethal nails got a good swipe in before Rick yanked their arms down and angled his body to the side so the kicking legs couldn't get him in the balls. He lifted the figure off their feet easily, so they dangled mid-air as they struggled.

Pity, Merle would have got a good chuckle out of the cop's balls being busted. He turned as walker came in and kicked it back before slamming his machete through its skull. His other hand moved out in a back fist for its apron-wearing companion before he pulled the machete free and angled the tip he'd sharpened fresh last night in through apron-walkers eye.

Kicking out again, he pushed the second one away, turning before it had fallen to the ground in a graceless heap. He watched the creature he was slowly realising was a girl, possibly the girl Shane had come after considering how she was going ape at Daryl.

"Well shit, we didn't think of Daryl lookin' like your dead fuck did we?" Laughing Merle wiped his machete down, ignoring Michonne as she raised an eyebrow at him. It wasn't up to him to explain that shit to her.

"Shane maybe…"

Interrupting Rick's words, Merle walked up to the woman and stared her down. She was a little thing, scrawny and filthy as fuck as she shook in Rick's arms. Inhaling and wrinkling his nose, Merle spoke sharply. "Hey crazy bitch, you tear into my baby brother again and I'll fuckin' tan your hide, you hear me? He ain't your nightmare, your nightmare is fuckin' dead. He," Merle pointed his machete at Shane, "Can tell you that."

He watches as the girl…no the woman, he realised. She might look slight, girlish even but she wasn't. She was probably somewhere in her early thirties he thought, which would be about right given how long Shane said she'd been an inpatient here.

He saw consciousness return to her eyes as she stilled and looked up at him, panting and washing them all with her rancid breath. "You need to swallow about a gallon of mouthwash and shower for a month sugar, you fuckin' stink." He said as he turned away, deliberately giving her his back as a test.

Gasping breaths are all they can hear for a long time once they shut themselves in safely. Michonne was waiting, Shane was looking at the scratches on Daryl's arm and Rick was still up close and personal with her while Merle turned back around, crossed his arms and stared her down.

##########

Reggie struggled to breathe, the shattered glass of her mind kept putting Mac front and centre followed by Devon. The old bite scar on her neck throbbed and itched as she struggled to filter out memories from the present. The big man with the grey hair and light blue eyes stands and stares at her.

He's waiting, for what she doesn't know, but something. There is impatience in his look, zero interest. But he _sees_ her. She doesn't know much, what has happened around her or why, but she knows that. She slows everything down as her psychiatrist had taught her, focuses one thing, the man. Ignoring all the others and the black woman standing like a sentry, she focuses on long legs, grey hair and light blue eyes. "What's happened out there?" She asks finally in a cracked whisper. She barely recognises her own voice.

"World went to shit and if you die you come back like that." The big man says simply with a contemptuous jerk toward the dead things he'd killed a second time a little while ago. "Hey Darylena, you and your flat-nose should check out the meds and shit, I'll babysit."

Watching, Reggie sees the man that looks like Mac nod and the man with the aforementioned flat-nose and shaved head do the same. They stand and move off, the woman nodding at them as they pass. The man behind her lets her get her feet under her and she twists out of his hold. Looking at the man, Reggie moves toward him, ignoring his frown at her smell she stands her ground, invading his space. "What's your name?" She asks this time.

"'M Merle, Merle Dixon. The one you think is someone else is my baby brother Daryl. The flat-nose belongs to him. He knows about you, what happened. He's the one who saved you." Reggie frowned. She knew from her Aunt and Uncle that she'd been moved, saved from the fire that had killed Devon and Walter, she could remember that. And what Devon had done to her for too long before the fire.

And she remembered a fuzzy picture of murky green eyes and a halo of dark curly hair that faded in and out of her dreams with regularity.

Devon, though? He'd made her an addict, withdrawal had taken a long time. Scrubbing her dirty hands over her face and through her lank hair, Reggie shuddered. "I was supposed to be released in the summer, I was ready. But then… People started dying and coming back to life and my Aunt and Uncle never came for me." She stopped speaking, not mentioning her frantic battles of avoidance, followed by hurried ransacking to help her survive. Her eventual decision to move closer to the kitchen from her room and her deliberate decision not to bathe when she realised that the worse she smelled, the less they bothered her.

"Yeah well, they're probably like that or truly dead by now sugar. Flat-nose wants you to come with us, we're headed to Washington D.C. gonna' try an' see if there's any fuckin' government left. If you're in, you ain't leavin' here 'till you've showered and cleaned that mouth out. I ain't smellin' you all the way back to the convoy."

"Jesus Merle." Rick's words make Reggie turn around. She looks him up and down and dismisses him.

"The worse I smell, the less they come after me." She says simply as she looks at the woman properly for the first time. Dismissing Michonne as well, the turns back to Merle. "I'll show you where I've been staying and get what clothes I have, but it's not much. The water still runs though so if you'll watch over me, I'll clean up." Reggie wonders if she's making a mistake when his eyes light at her mentioning washing herself up.

"Oh now, maybe Michonne should do that with you?" The bearded man behind her questions as he drops a hand on her shoulder. Flinching, Reggie steps away as her mind flashed. Breathing with concentration, she manages to stave off any hyperventilation and shakes her head.

"No thank you." The black woman steps forward.

"I'm Michonne." She doesn't put out a hand. "May I come with you and stay in another room? I can pack your belongings?" She's offering assistance, not saying she doesn't trust Merle with Reggie, though Reggie knows that's what her issue is. But she can bend. For now.

"Thank you." Turning, Reggie bends and grabs up the meat cleaver she carried around with her, her fingers grasping the handle with surety.

In her room, she throws what clothes she has managed to keep on the bed and sifts through them for the cleanest lot before she stops. "There is a duffle, it's behind the front counter. The guy who worked nights used to keep his gym clothes in it."

"I'll get it." Michonne says and Reggie nods.

Turning to the grey haired man, she speaks again. "The manager's office has its own bathroom, I use that when I can." He… _Merle_ nods and gestures for her to lead the way. With her clothes in one arm, the cleaver in her other hand, Reggie flits through the institution.

If she hadn't looked, she wouldn't have known Merle was behind her, keeping up and keeping watch. He was that quiet.

Once inside, Reggie lets Merle make sure the place is clear before he gestures toward the bathroom. Reggie shuts herself in and tears off her clothes after switching on the shower. She shampoos her hair three times, keeping going until it squeaks when she rinses it. Then she conditions it with the stuff the manager had left behind.

Pulling her hair back with the conditioner still in it, she takes up the loofah and lathers it. Then she cleans her skin, scrubbing herself down until the water runs clear. Rinsing her hair again, she switches the water off only when her hands slide over her clean skin and she doesn't feel any dirt built up anywhere. Her skin is covered in goose pimples and her still dirty teeth are chattering. Wrapping the sheet she'd grabbed around herself in lieu of a towel, she grabs the manager's toothbrush and toothpaste.

A knock comes on the door as she is cleaning her teeth and she grunts. When it opens, the flat-nosed man is standing there. He looks her over and raises an eyebrow before he nods and closes the door again. Spitting out the toothpaste, Reggie put more on the brush and cleaned her teeth again until her gums bled. Then she gargled, using all of the mouthwash in the manager's small travel bottle.

When she'd finished that, she wrinkled her nose at the clothes she'd brought in. They weren't clean, but they weren't especially dirty either. The door opening again takes her attention. "I found these in the laundry room. The other stuff was in the duffle Michonne got for you." The flat-nose man said softly as he handed over some navy material. "I got the smallest size there." Scrubs. He'd found her some clean scrubs. "Bring the clothes you've got, we can wash 'em on the road." He closed the door again, but not before his eyes had taken in her scars, lingering on the bite scar on her neck.

With a sigh, Reggie dropped the sheet and looked at the scrubs. When she unfolded them, underwear fell out. That was the other stuff he'd referred to, she realised. Staring at it, she leaned down and picked it up. Then the first smile to grace her face in she didn't know how long crept across her face. It was purple. And male underwear. But it was underwear. The waistband said _Emporio_ _Armani_. With her smile still lingering, she pulled it on. The waistband sat on her hips surprisingly comfortably. The crotch was a little baggy, but on the whole they were fine.

The form fitting tank top was made out of some weird stretchy lycra and while it wasn't a bra, it actually did give her a small amount of support. It would do. The scrubs were next and she pulled in the drawstring, wincing at how her ribs and hip bones protruded. Closing her eyes, she breathed a couple of times and opened the door.

All of them were there, the man who had Mac's face but obviously wasn't him. The bearded man who'd held her back from attacking, the woman, her eyes watching everything without judgement. The flat-nosed man Reggie now fused with the curly haired man in her memory. And the grey haired man who'd pulled her sanity back in earlier.

It was to him that she spoke. "I'm ready."

He nodded and looked at Mac's face. "Let's go baby brother, we're burnin' daylight."

##########

Nearly two months later, after an arduous journey full of hordes of the walking dead and backtracking through traffic jams and various blockages, they're on the road to Washington D.C. On an overpass, the convoy stops and Reggie finds herself stepping with Merle and Sophia over to look at the setting sun as it highlighted the obelisk in the distance. "Wow." Sophia whispers. Reggie agrees.

Smoke meanders toward the sky in the far distance, making her unease grow. She wasn't sure of heading into the city. Not at all. An approaching engine them makes everyone turn. They obey Abraham and Rick and get back in their vehicles. Reggie and Sophia don't see or hear the resulting conversation, they settle into their seats when the word comes back that they're moving on.

When it's fully dark, they pull up for the night and settle down. There is a light air in the group now, they'd been found by other survivors, they'd be alright. Reggie shook her head as she settled down with Sophia and Carol. Alright was subjective she thought as she drifted to sleep.

The next morning they're on the way before breakfast and within the hour are being let through a pair of fortified gates.

Stepping to the ground, Reggie looks around at the idyllic setting. Then she blinked. And blinked again. It was still there.

"It ain't a mirage sugar." Merle said as he came to stand beside her and Sophia, Carol was on their other side. They all stared.

"Guess we're not in Kansas anymore Scarecrow." Reggie said making Carol laugh lightly and Merle rumble a laugh as well.

Reggie listens to the pretty speech that the person in charge says. She doesn't know whether she believes it or not, but if Merle was staying - and he was because Daryl was with Shane and where one went the other followed - then she was staying too.

Looking around, she glances at Sophia and Carol, then Michonne. They'd be okay as long as they had each other.

"We'll take it." Merle's voice brings her out of her musings.

"You have a large family?" The woman asks as she looks Merle over, then Reggie and Sophia and Carol.

"Yeah, seven bedrooms will give us one spare." He says as he nods at Daryl and Shane who nod back.

"Certainly, what are your names so I can put down who is occupying the house?"

##########

Merle looks at his brother and his brother's man. Fuck if he ever thought he'd say that. But it was what it was. Shane made Daryl happy when he'd never been truly happy in his life before. Merle could suck that up. And Carol and Sophia? Well, they were just family, as was Michonne. Not to mention the spitfire at his side.

How Reggie had come through what she had and could still hold a conversation, walk and talk and be sentient blew Merle's mind.

"Merle." He says.

"Reggie." Reggie answers.

"Carol and Sophia." Carol steps up too.

"Michonne." Michonne waves a hand languidly from where she's leaning on a fender.

"Daryl and Shane." Shane says as his hands slides down and Daryl twines their fingers together.

Whether they stayed in this place called Alexandria or decided to try for Utah or somewhere else, they'd try together.

Merle looked over at them all, his gaze sliding beyond to Glenn and his family. He nodded once, short and sharp in acknowledgement as Glenn stood and took the neighbouring house. If they left, Glenn and his family would come too. He knew that now, accepted and liked that now.

Glenn nodded back.

Daryl squeezed Shane's hand and tilted his mouth in a half-grin as Shane raised an eyebrow back. "Family huh?" He asked quietly as the rest of the group were given housing allocations too.

"I kinda' like it." Shane says as he turns and busses Daryl's sharp cheekbone.

"Fuckin' cut that shit out. I don't gotta' be seein' that outside." Merle groused making Daryl and Shane laugh as well as the rest of their family.

**THE END**

* * *

_A/N - A huge THANK YOU to everyone who has read, reviewed, favourited, followed, subscribed and kudosed_ _**My Kind of Crazy** _ _. You kept me going at times when real life got a little too much. My apologies for taking so long with the last two chapters. But I made a promise to you and it has been kept. Hopefully I hear from you again in the future, whether it is in the review section here or another story I post sometime in the future. Thank you again._

**Author's Note:**

> Now if you're familiar with my work you know I usually post very regularly. I'm sorry but I won't be doing so with this story. I am writing it, it will not be abandoned etc. I hope to post semi-regularly which to me is at least monthly. I always post my local time on a Saturday which will translate for most of you to be late Friday, early Saturday posts. 
> 
> Please be patient and thank mrsreedus69 as I asked her if she wanted me to post as I went or if she was happy to wait until I'd finished the whole story before I posted it. She was adamant that I post as I write. And so I obeyed.


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